The Oprah Magazine - January 2014 USA

OPRAH’S BOOK CLUB 2.0 She’s Found a Powerful New Novel—Prepare to Be Inspired!

20 M AKE

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Your Year to Shine! Brighten Everything from Your Mood to Your Style, One Easy Tweak at a Time

The Secret to a Great Makeover How to Make Changes That Actually Stick

Take Our Diet Quiz! From Snack Bar to Salad Bar, Can You Pick the Healthiest Options?

Oprah’s Foolproof Stress Cure pg. 130

The Case for Goofing Off... Why Play Really Pays

CONTENTS

January 2014 Special

Make It Happen 9 6 If you’re in the mood for a change, big or small, you’ve come to the right place: We’re ringing in 2014 with inspiring stories and strategies to transform everything from your outlook to your outfit. You’ve got resolutions? We’ve got solutions!

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“MAKE IT HAPPEN”

Features 1 1 0 O MAKEOVERS: WHERE ARE THEY NOW? Seven women who were once transformed in O’s pages reflect on the changes that stuck, the advice that didn’t, and how their lives have evolved. Then our beauty and fashion experts work their magic again.

“Sue Monk Kidd has written a conversation changer.”

1 1 8 GET REAL! Forget the diet du jour—here’s a delicious plan that will last a lifetime. It’s heavy on real food, light on the processed stuff, and, yes, it leaves room for dessert.

49

“ THE O LIST”

80

“OPRAH’S BOOK CLUB 2.0”

“We can rewire our response to mistakes.” 65 C L O C K W I S E F R O M TO P R I G H T: M A R KO M E T Z I N G E R . S E R G I O K U R H A J E C . M A R I A B R U N I . G R E G O R H A L E N D A . M I C H A E L E D WA R D S . P E T E R R O S A . C H R I S TO P H E R T E S TA N I .

“FEELING GOOD”

Live Your Best Life 2 3 INSPIRATION, MOTIVATION, CELEBRATION A soapmaker turns bath time into an art…Gabrielle Union shares her best-kept secret and a favorite way to unwind…a photographer snaps portraits of her friends from the animal kingdom…and more.

“GET REAL!”

118

May We Help You? 3 7 MARTHA BECK

“O MAKEOVERS: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?”

“O, BEAUTIFUL!”

5 4 GREAT BUYS UNDER $100! Chic, affordable pieces in black, white, and red.

Plus: THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GAYLE Editor at large Gayle King on her favorite funny ladies and onesie pajamas.

How to tune in and trust your instincts. (Your brain will thank you.)

“I always remember to add a pop of color!”

57

O, Beautiful! 5 7 Neutral nail polishes for every skin tone, the case for facial oils, glamorous eye makeup for those who wear glasses, and more. Plus: VAL’S BEAUTY BUZZ Beauty director Valerie Monroe on a glowing cheek stain, customized eye palettes, how to apply primer, and more.

4 0 DR. PHIL

4 2 DR. OZ

Feeling Good

Answers to your questions on energy drinks, e-cigarettes, and more.

6 5 THE DOCTOR WILL SEE YOU…AND YOU…AND YOU NOW

4 4 SUZE ORMAN Five ways to put your best financial foot forward.

4 6 BRENÉ BROWN For wholehearted living, pencil in some playtime.

4 6 IYANLA VANZANT Feeling stuck? Break bad patterns in five easy steps.

Love That!

Emma Haak investigates a growing medical trend: shared appointments.

6 8 YOUR JOB, ONLY HEALTHIER How to make the daily grind less grinding. By Camille Noe Pagán

7 1 THE SCIENCE OF PSYCHE Jihan Thompson asks author Jennifer Ouellette to share findings from her new book on how we form our sense of self.

4 9 THE O LIST

7 2 THE BEAUTY OF GETTING IT WRONG

A few (creatively updated) things we think are just great!

Bonnie Tsui examines the right way to learn from mistakes.

5 2 ADAM’S STYLE SHEET

7 6 THE O QUIZ: HUNGER GAMES

Creative director Adam Glassman has stylish finds for your winter getaway, whether you’re hitting the slopes or catching some waves.

8 0 OPRAH’S BOOK CLUB 2.0 Oprah talks with Sue Monk Kidd, author of The Invention of Wings—the third selection for Oprah’s Book Club 2.0.

8 6 Gary Shteyngart’s funny and poignant memoir…a dystopian odyssey set in the distant future by Chang-rae Lee…ten titles to pick up now, including an essay collection from Ann Patchett…and more.

Let’s Eat! 1 2 5 Chef and O columnist

It’s time to ask yourself, How’s that working for you?

110

Reading Room

Sunny Anderson stirs up hearty soups for cold winter nights…a cornucopia of delicious finds, favorites, and quick fixes, including a brilliant new use for the waffle iron…plus, our guide to turning three key ingredients into mouth-watering dishes.

1 3 0 TEA TIME Oprah on the beauty of brewing the perfect cup of tea.

In Every Issue 10 12 14 16 21 132 134

Contributors Behind the Scenes The Question We Hear You! Oprah: Here We Go! Shop Guide Oprah: What I Know for Sure

Which vending machine option is the healthiest? Test your nutritional knowledge and find out. By Kate Rockwood

COVER CREDITS: Oprah photographed by Ruven Afanador. Fashion editor: Jenny Capitain. Hair: Andre Walker. Makeup: Derrick Rutledge. Manicure: Roseann Singleton for Chanel at Art Department. Set design: Donnie Myers Studio for De Facto Inc. On Oprah, left: Top and bottom, PJ Harlow. Shoes, Chloé. On Oprah, right: Dress, Basler Couture by Brian Rennie. Earrings, Bounkit. Ring, Jorge Adeler. Bracelet, Paolo Costaglio. Shoes, Kate Spade. For details see Shop Guide. JANUARY 2014

OPRAH.COM 3

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JANUARY 2014

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YOU CAN FIND A MAN! (If you want one)

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"HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU"

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Contributors Switching It Up CAMILLE NOE PAGÁN

NIKKI GIOVANNI

SARA FORTE

MEG GILES

BRENÉ BROWN

Writer, “Your Job, Only Healthier”

Reviewer, “Higher Ground”

Recipe developer, “Get Real!”

Writer, “Dead Reckoning”

Columnist, “Dare to Play”

page 68

page 89

page 118

page 109

page 46

I recently transformed my…daily schedule. I adopted a 1-year-old dog named Dixie, and taking her for walks gives me a nice break from work. But I’ll never change my…profession. I once considered studying public health—but then realized that I’d just want to write about public health. The most dramatic makeover I’ve ever seen was…my sister’s health. She lost 80 pounds, and I admire her approach to wellness: She loads up on veggies, but won’t turn up her nose at cake. When I need a change of scenery, I go to…Puerto Rico. Some of my best ideas have hit me while I was searching for shells.

I recently transformed my…belief that people are selfish. After a trip with LEAP for Ghana, which builds literacy, I was reminded that people really are giving. But I’ll never change my…habit of saying yes. I believe it’s important to find time to share some energy with someone or something else. The most dramatic makeover I’ve ever seen was…winter to spring. What a wonderful opportunity to open that last bottle of red wine, sit quietly on the deck, and toast nature. When I need a change of scenery, I go to…New York City. It has everything any artist could want.

I recently transformed my…closets. I finally went through and purged the clothes I hadn’t worn in years, and I feel immeasurably lighter. But I’ll never change my…tendency to hoard sentimental notes and letters. The most dramatic makeover I’ve ever seen was…in cookbook design and photography. It was so basic 20 years ago, and now each book is a piece of art. When I need a change of scenery, I go to...the California coast. The breathtaking view along the highway from San Luis Obispo to Big Sur can impact anyone’s perspective on life.

I recently transformed my…entire life. I left my marriage, my job, and New York to return to my hometown—and to the man I’ve always loved. But I’ll never change my…devotion to actor Ricardo Montalbán. As a kid I used to walk around saying, “Welcome...to Fantasy Island!” The most dramatic makeover I’ve ever seen was…my best friend’s hair postdivorce. After straightening it for years, she let it grow into a glorious curly mane. When I need a change of scenery, I go to…my bike—a beach cruiser. It’s painted with skulls and has leather tassels. Joy in vehicle form.

I recently transformed my…way of thinking about downtime. I used to say, When I’m done, I’ll get to relax, but now I know I’ve got to schedule relaxation as a nonnegotiable. But I’ll never change my…lifelong love of big hair, old country music, and hard rock. You can take the girl out of Texas... The most dramatic makeover I’ve ever seen was…my home. My walls were dark before I painted them a pale blue. Now everything feels much calmer! When I need a change of scenery, I go to…the Texas Hill Country. I’m pretty sure God lives in that rolling green.

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PA G Á N : C O U R T E S Y O F C A M I L L E N O E PA G Á N . G I O VA N N I : J A N C O B B . F O R T E : H U G H F O R T E . G I L E S : M I C A E L A J . G A N TC H O F F. B R O W N : A N D R E A S C H E R .

Five of the talents behind this month’s issue share how they navigate life’s changes.

athleta.com/stores

MIND OVER MAT.

SCORPION FROM A HANDSTAND NEXT. POWER TO THE SHE.

Behind the Scenes Double Vision To create this month’s cover, Oprah had a little help from two of her favorite guys.

Ad A dd d d a little digital magic, et voilà!

THE DETAILS Where: Pier59 Studios, NYC When: September 5, 2013

R U V E N A FA N A D O R . R U V E N , O P R A H A R R I V I N G : D O N N A A L B E R I C O. PA J A M A S A N D G O L D S H O E : B E N G O L D S T E I N / S T U D I O D. S T Y L I S T: A N I TA S A L E R N O F O R R . J . B E N N E T T R E P R E S E N T S . M A K E U P : C O U R T E S Y O F L A N C Ô M E .

Ruven directs…

…while Adam stands in.

SOME ARTFUL MANEUVERING was needed to achieve January’s split personality: Photographer Ruven Afanador coached a pajamaed and curlered “before” Oprah, while O creative director Adam Glassman stood in for the glitzy “after.” “I need to be shorter so she can be looking in the right place,” Adam said, scrunching gamely. Anything for the cover. —clarissa cruz

Oprah wore these heels to a postshoot dinner at ABC Kitchen. “They’re as comfy as slippers,” she said. ($328; katespade.com)

“It took four hours to get ready and ten minutes to shoot. It’s a lot of work, people!” —OPRAH

OPRAH’S PICKS As much as our cover star loves to glam it up, comfort wins at the end of the day. How deeply did Oprah bond with these PJ Harlow pajamas? She tried them on the day before the shoot, slept in them that night, and arrived in them the next day. (Tops, $73 each, and bottoms, $77 each; pjharlow.com)

GET THE LOOK!

Golden Girl Makeup artist Derrick Rutledge (right, with hair guru Andre Walker) blended all the shadows in this palette on Oprah’s eyelids. (All-In-One 5 Shadow & Liner Palette in Bronze Amour, $49; lancome-usa.com)

Oprah arrived at the studio with Sade, a recent grad from the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa who was starting college in California later in the week. MAKEOVER MAGIC For a video of Oprah’s transformation for this month’s cover, download the O iPad app from the iTunes store.

Fit to flatter.

Love how you feel.

® MONTREAL From capris to boot cuts, skinnies, flares and straights, you'll find your perfect fit at LISETTE-L.COM/Oprah

©2014 Lisette Limoges Agencies Inc. All rights reserved.

The Question What’s on your mind? This month we asked O readers…

How Do You Hope This Year Will Be Better Than Last Year?

want him limiting himself to what feels “safe.” I plan to lead by example and get out of my comfort zone a bit. I even purchased red lipstick yesterday—that’s a huge start!

a part-time job or volunteer work that inspires me, spend the winter months in sunny Florida, and after ten years of living in different states, finally spend more time with my boyfriend.

TESSA JEAN

ELIZABETH BREEZE

New York City

country where my daughters were born. The past year was so good to me—I’d feel greedy asking for anything more!

HEIDI BAIKIE

I’ve been thinking about the mess in Washington, D.C., and I’d like to see our government try very hard to put its best foot forward.

Mountain View, California

JEAN LAYTON Dagsboro, Delaware

I’m hoping to use turning 30 and losing my dad as daily reminders to live with intention, grow spiritually, and spend my time only on things and people who deserve it.

I hope my thighs are thinner, my bank account is fuller, my happiness has increased, and most of all, my faith in God and good people remains the same.

MARY-BETH MUCKIAN

I want to show myself the same forgiveness and love that I give to everyone else in my life.

Boston

CATHY STATES Mineola, New York

PORTIA PERKINS Sunnyside, New York My hope is that this year we’ll have safer, more commonsense gun laws in our country.

I hope we will be more compassionate to one another, love hard, and understand without hesitation.

BARB PATRICK

JOHNNIE BARNES

Newtown, Connecticut

Hyattsville, Maryland

In 2013, I turned 40 and became a runner, which has given me strength in mind and body, and I flew to Ethiopia to run a half marathon and explore the

After working for 51 years, I’m finally nearing retirement and ready to start living my life the way I want. I’d like to find

I tend to be conservative, but I’d like to be more daring in the clothes I wear, the places I go to, and the things I do. I have a 9-month-old son, and I don’t

OUR NEXT QUESTION: What’s the most surprising thing you’ve ever unearthed while cleaning house? Tell us at oprah.com/question or e-mail us at [email protected], and your response could be featured in our March issue. Submissions chosen for publication may be edited for length and clarity. All submissions become the property of Hearst Communications, Inc., and may be published, along with the name of the individual, in any and all O, The Oprah Magazine–branded media now known or hereafter developed.

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This year will be better than the last because my husband is finally home from a one-year deployment in Afghanistan. Although we endured sadness and stress, we learned a lesson from being separated: Treasure every moment, big and small, that you have with your family.

ALTESE CABINESS Richmond Hill, Georgia

Follow us on Twitter: @O_Magazine Facebook.com/ oprahmagazine Pinterest.com/oprah

P E R K I N S : C O U R T E S Y O F P O R T I A P E R K I N S . B R E E Z E : R A C H E L C A R L O N E -T R A C Y. S TAT E S : C O U R T E S Y O F C AT H Y S TAT E S . C A B I N E S S : C O U R T E S Y O F A LT E S E C A B I N E S S .

Williamsburg, Virginia

NOW PLAYING

We Hear You! In November, you celebrated an environmental activist and crossed some items off your to-do lists.

Frack Off! Bravo to Deb Thomas for fighting against fracking in her rural Wyoming community [“The Fight of Her Life”]. The work she’s doing in the name of long-term sustainability over short-lived profit is a lesson for us all. I’m glad O brings us the stories of unheralded women like Thomas who are challenging institutions and helping save our health, our lives, and our children’s futures. I hope heroes like her never grow weary.

CINDY NICOLAYSEN Rocklin, California I was blown away by Thomas’s story. The description of her home reminded me of my own town, where we’re organizing to draft a no-fracking ordinance. I never thought I’d be getting an education about energy at age 62, but the stakes are high: The contaminated soil and water left behind by fracking could take years to reclaim. Thank you for showing me that I’m not alone here in New Mexico and that my efforts, like Thomas’s, are helping to wake up America.

KAREN BLAIR Costilla, New Mexico

go nearly broke just because TV commercials tell us we should. I may still decorate, but I buy gifts with a strict budget and do so only for my children. I’m no longer running from store to store; in fact, now that my kids are older, my new motto is “Because I take care of you 24/7, every day is Christmas.” Ho, ho, ho!

ROXIE HICKMAN Racine, Wisconsin

Words with Friends I have four Scrabble boards, including the timeworn classic my mother used to entertain her children and grandchildren. Just when I thought I had enough, Gayle King shows us an enormous, swiveling board in “The World According to Gayle.” I’m thinking the size would be perfect for my over-50 eyes—and it looks stable enough to withstand the competitive games that occur in my otherwise civilized home. By the way, Gayle, zax is a word—19 points by itself!

MARTI BENSON Colorado Springs

Happier Holidays I loved Dr. Phil’s advice in the November issue [“Get Rid of the Have-tos and Shoulddos”] about relieving ourselves of stress during the holidays. Years ago, after several seasons of what I call the gift-buying domino effect, I realized how senseless it is to

I have my own oversize Scrabble board—four by four feet—which I enlisted a local artist to craft. Playing on such a large board really changes your perspective and makes the game a lot more fun. Gayle, you’re welcome to come play anytime!

HEDDY N. FRANK Winter Garden, Florida

BODY TALK Do you find yourself getting emotional when it comes to your physical self? You’re hardly alone. If you flat-out love, sometimes loathe, or just can’t stop obsessing over your body, let us know. Complete a short survey at oprah.com/body, and then check out our May issue to learn how women of every size and shape feel about the skin they’re in.

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LET’S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING THAT NOBODY’S TALKING ABOUT. Your financial security. In the course of a day, you are a juggler, a manager, a mediator and a finder of missing shoes. So, how do you squeeze in time to be a champion of your own financial security? We understand you have other priorities. That’s where we can help. Let’s start by breaking down the financial challenges you face into three manageable pieces: protecting your family, investing for your future and making sure you have income for retirement. Then, let’s tackle them, one by one. This is where talking to a highly qualified financial professional comes in. There’s one right in your community with Prudential solutions that can help. Ready to talk? Just starting the conversation will make you feel more confident about your future. Visit prudential.com/women to find helpful tools and resources, or to get connected with a financial professional.

© 2013. Prudential, the Prudential logo, the Rock symbol and Bring Your Challenges are service marks of Prudential Financial, Inc., and its related entities, registered in many jurisdictions worldwide. 0252688-00001-0

We Hear You! November column about focusing more on what fulfills us. I’ve struggled recently with my list of wants versus needs: I want to be a stylish stay-at-home mom who blogs, makes gourmet Southern meals, and keeps a clean house. But because of Beck, I now know that I need to give myself permission to enjoy things that make me happy, like reading books, crocheting scarves, and renewing my O subscription!

JINNY LA BAR Mooresville, North Carolina

Destination Revelation

ROB DIXON Atlanta

Flutter

Rose

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Color your lips

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The Empty-YourBucket List I’m still thinking about “To-Do List, or Notto-Do List?,” Martha Beck’s insightful

CONNECT WITH US! To share your feedback on this issue, e-mail us with your full name, city, and state at [email protected]. You can also visit facebook.com/ oprahmagazine or tweet us at @O_Magazine. (For subscription questions, go to service.theoprahmag .com.) Letters chosen for publication may be edited for length and clarity. All submissions and manuscripts become the property of Hearst Communications, Inc. To receive updates from the editors, sign up for our e-mail newsletters at oprah.com/newsletters.

In Memoriam Last year Joe Bell set out to walk from Oregon to New York City. His endeavor to honor his late son, Jadin, who committed suicide after being bullied for being gay, impressed us so much that we featured Bell in our August issue’s “Wow List.” In October, Bell was killed in a tragic roadside accident. In his memory, supporters can donate to anti-bullying and suicide-prevention organizations or sign up to carry on Bell’s legacy by walking a mile or more. For more information, visit joeswalkforchange.org. Bell on his memorial walk in Oregon in April 2013, as pictured in our August issue’s “Wow List.”

F R O M TO P : C O U R T E S Y O F R O B D I XO N . R U V E N A FA N A D O R . C O U R T E S Y O F T H E B E L L FA M I LY.

My wife and I had been debating what to do for our 25th wedding anniversary before she read a small piece in the July issue of O about Magical Mystery Tours, an agency that plans surprise getaways for vacationers. We have different travel preferences, so we decided the service was perfect for us. Right before the trip (having no idea where you’re headed makes you feel like a kid on Christmas Eve!), we learned we were going to Italy; it was the most fun and romantic vacation of our lives. In this photo we’re on the shore of the Ligurian Sea. Thank you for helping make our anniversary even more special.

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FA S H I O N E D I TO R : J E N N Y C A P I TA I N . H A I R : A N D R E WA L K E R . M A K E U P : D E R R I C K R U T L E D G E . S E T D E S I G N : D O N N I E M Y E R S S T U D I O F O R D E FA C TO I N C . O N O P R A H : D R E S S , B A S L E R . E A R R I N G S , B O U N K I T. B R A C E L E T, PA O L O C O S TA G L I . R I N G , J O R G E A D E L E R . S H O E S , K AT E S PA D E . F O R D E TA I L S S E E S H O P G U I D E .

Here We Go!

W WHAT IS IT ABOUT A FRESH START that’s so invigorating, so thrilling, so inspiring? This time of year, many of us feel the itch to shake, fix, and perk things up; to approach what lies ahead in a better, smarter way; to fill our lives with a brand-new passion. I count myself among those who are excited by beginnings—which is why I’m loving this month’s issue. You’ll hear from daring women who have made some remarkable changes and discover how to make a few small but significant improvements yourself—whether you’re hoping to lower your stress level, pretty up your living room, or figure out how to actually enjoy your daily commute (page 96). If you get hungry along the way, don’t miss our story on the delights of eating real food (page 118) or my ode to the joy of making and drinking tea (page 130). And if you’re dying to dive into a great new read, have I got the novel for you! Find out my newest Book Club 2.0 pick on page 80—I know you’re going to love it. Guess what else I know: The future is full of possibility, whether you make one tiny change—or a whole invigorating, thrilling, inspiring bunch of them. Read on!

PHOTOGRAPH BY RUVEN AFANADOR

“This time of year, many of us feel the itch to fill our lives with a brand-new passion.”

JANUARY 2014

OPRAH.COM 21

 Motivation  Ce ion le

In sp

on ati br

Live Life at ir

YOUR BE S T

“I take pleasure in my ‘transformations.’ I look quiet and consistent, but few know how many women there are in me.”

GALLERY STOCK

—ANAÏS NIN

PHOTOGRAPH BY T MKA RAYR TKIOS CT O L

MJOA N N TUH AT RK Y 2014 3

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Live

YOUR BEST

Life TAKE NOTE!

The Gratitude Meter Five things we can’t stop smiling about this month.

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“Weekend Update” coanchor Cecily Strong is making her mark on Saturday Night Live.

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BACKSTORY As a kid, Cecily Strong spent Saturday nights parked in front of the TV with her dad. “If we weren’t watching SNL or I Love Lucy, we were renting Marx Brothers and Monty Python movies,” says the Chicago-area native. In grade school Strong put on plays for friends and experimented with accents, which she practiced on her family’s voice mail greeting. “Looking back,” she says, “I was a pretty obnoxious ham.”

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SMALLEST LOSER

A TASTE OF THEIR OWN MEDICINE

LIGHTS, CAMERA, ARIA!

MENTAL NOTES

LITTLE SWEETIES

Prepare for chills when a formerly shy, bullied boy faces Simon Cowell in One Chance, the true story of Britain’s Got Talent winner and YouTube sensation Paul Potts, a salesman who dreamed of using his pipes as an opera singer. The tale of his rise to fame hits theaters January 10.

Motivation to strum some chords: A recent study from the University of St. Andrews suggests that the more often subjects practiced playing a musical instrument, the more efficiently their brains processed information on nonmusical tasks. Cue the applause.

Cookies shipped to our doorstep on the regular? Sign us up. The best part: Gabriella’s Cookie Chip-ofthe-Month Club treats are bitesize for times when you want just a taste. A must-try: Toffee Crunch. (gabriellascookie chipcompany .com)

Tempted to throw in the towel on your workout? Think of Obie, a dachshund who, at a rotund 77 pounds, could barely walk a year ago. Under his new owner’s health regimen, he now runs on the beach—and he’s a pet obesity “spokesdog.” Follow his progress on Facebook. 24 OPRAH.COM

Tulane University med students use more than just stethoscopes— try sauté pans. Working with Johnson & Wales University’s culinary school, doctors-to-be do kitchen rounds, learning how to cook healthfully so they can pass on smart strategies to future patients. JANUARY 2014

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—emma haak

BIG BREAK After receiving her BFA, Strong, now 29, flubbed a few auditions—including one for an In Living Color remake in 2011 (“I bombed so hard!”). While honing her comedy chops, she worked in the box office at iO, a famed Chicago improv theater. When SNL creator Lorne Michaels held auditions there, Strong tried out. “My family came and sat in the front row,” she says. “Afterward they looked like they’d seen a murder. I was positive I’d done terribly.” But soon Michaels called her back and, following screen tests in New York, offered her a spot. “I was so happy, I left the studio and wandered around Manhattan by myself…sobbing.” SETTLING IN Strong, in her second season on SNL, already has a roster of excruciatingly hilarious characters: an enraged fast-food employee, a bird-brained former porn star, and the girl you really wish you hadn’t started a conversation with at a party (“There are high school students who can’t even point out India on a map of Africa!”). Now she’s coanchoring the show’s “Weekend Update” segment. “This is the dream job,” jokes Strong. “Lots of lattes and makeovers. Not bad at all.” —arianna davis

O B I E : O LY D O G ! S T U D I O S . C H E F ’S H AT, S T E T H O S C O P E : G E T T Y I M A G E S . O N E C H A N C E : © 2 0 1 3 T H E W E I N S T E I N C O M PA N Y. G U I TA R : A N DY S H O R T/ G U I TA R I ST M A G A Z I N E V I A G E T T Y I M A G E S . C O O K I E S : A L I S O N G O O T E E / S T U D I O D. S T Y L I S T: M A R I A N A V E L A S Q U E Z F O R B I G L E O. S T R O N G : M A RY E L L E N M AT T H E W S / N B C .

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WOMEN WHO MAKE BEAUTIFUL THINGS

HER START In college, Mei Ong wasn’t the type of student who stayed up late doing Jell-O shots or goofing off with friends— she was too busy with measurements, temperatures, and pH levels. “Soapmaking was my private science experiment,” says Ong, 26. “Fizzy bath bombs, beeswax lip balms—I loved seeing what I could concoct.” She’s still at it today: In 2011, she launched Vice & Velvet, an online shop featuring soaps, body washes, sugar scrubs, and moisturizers that showcase her dramatic designs and romantic fragrances. (Vice is for sweeter scents; Velvet for earthier herbal varieties.)

HER CRAFT To create her signature scents, like Thief in the Night, a blend of sweet orange and patchouli, Ong just follows her nose. “I’ve read all the perfumery books, but I don’t adhere to any rules,” she says. “It’s like when you’re cooking: Sometimes it’s nice to stray from the recipe a bit.” For her soaps, Ong whisks together plant-based butters or oils with a lye solution to form a base, then adds essential or fragrant oils as well as other natural ingredients like rooibos tea. Finally, she mixes in eye-catching elements—rose petals, colorful clays, and sea salt crystals—to produce intricate swirls and patterns.

Bubbly Personality Australian soapmaker Mei Ong whips up bars that look and smell almost too gorgeous to use. 26 OPRAH.COM

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With Glee playing in the background, Ong lathers up in her tiny 30th-floor apartment in Melbourne, Australia. “Most people probably imagine me in a big country kitchen, but I have about five feet of work space,” she says. “When I leave, everyone always tells me how great I smell.” At the end of a long day, her ideal way to unwind is, naturally, a candlelit bath. “Sure, you can buy a bar of soap from the drugstore,” she says, “but by picking out something nicer, you turn a necessity like bathing into a luxury.” —A.D. PHOTOGRAPH BY ALISON GOOTEE

P R O P S T Y L I S T : J U L I E F LY N N F O R FA U C H E R A R T I S T S

HER WORKDAY

5 Things I Know for Sure

Michelle Dockery—whose indomitable Lady Mary returns for season four of Downton Abbey this month—on nth—on asking the “stupid” questions and cooking as therapy. erapy.

D O C K E RY : K I R K M C KOY/ C O N TO U R BY G E T T Y I M A G E S . I L LU S T R AT I O N : M A R I E A S S É N AT/ C W C- I .C O M .

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Laugh at yourself—a lot. My mum taught me not to o take myself too seriously. At the Golden Globes last year, a waiterr dropped a d in the grand tray of red-wine glasses on my white dress. I realized olden Globes! scheme of things it was not that bad—I was at the Golden en afraid to There are no stupid questions. For years I was often speak up when I didn’t fully understand a script. I’d tiee myself in knots. But I’ve learned to just ask my stupid questions, like when rouble I was rehearsing a play on Stalinist Russia and had trouble iberating. following parts of the story. Doing so has been totally liberating. The journey matters as much as the destination. By nd now engaging in the moment on set, I’ve stopped rushing and ers, the find pleasure in the collaborative process—the characters, oduct. costumes—rather than worrying about the finished product. Cooking can cure almost anything. Whether it’s forr ), myself or for friends (I love hosting people for dinner), I find it deeply therapeutic. And it brings out the nurturer in me! very other My family keeps me sane. I try to talk to my mum every day. After I get off the phone, I have a renewed sense off clarity, so I nt to me to guess a problem shared is a problem lost. It’s important keep them close. —as told to emily l. foley

Three, Two, One! Think the ball in Times Square is the only object falling at the stroke of midnight? Check out these annual New Year’s Eve spectacles around the country. —e.h.

BARTLESVILLE, OK At the swanky Price Tower Arts Center— celebs like Ben Affleck and Julia Roberts were guests when they filmed movies in the area—a giant Styrofoam olive plummets 14 stories into a seven-foot-tall martini glass.

PLYMOUTH, WI Residents gather in 20-degree weather to see an 80-pound wedge of fake cheese fall from a fire truck ladder.

EASTPORT, ME This island community’s art museum hosts the annual drop of a shark-size wooden sardine.

LEGOLAND, CARLSBAD, CA To accommodate its clientele’s early bedtime, a six-foot-long Lego brick glides down a tower at the stroke of 6 p.m.

ILLUSTRATION BY MARIE ASSÉNAT

MOBILE, AL A 350-pound, 12-foot-tall MoonPie drops from a 34-story building in honor of the city’s favorite midnight snack (residents reportedly consume some four million a year).

KEY WEST, FL Street revelers look on as a six-foot queen conch shell created by a local artist is lowered onto the roof of Sloppy Joe’s Bar.

Live

YOUR BEST

Life

MY BEST LIFE

Gabrielle Union The actress, who plays a soul-searching journalist in BET’s new drama Being Mary Jane, on taking the stairs—and the perfect pair of underwear. Best -KEPT SECRET I was a thumb-sucker until age 12, which led to headgear, nightgear, and rubber bands for two years. Awkward is an understatement.

Best

WAY TO UNWIND

On Thursday nights, I always try to make it home in time to watch Scandal. I light a candle, take a hot bath, then pour a glass of Malbec and head to the couch. That show is so smart and fastpaced. Anyone who’s not watching is missing out!

Best

WAY TO FEEL BEAUTIFUL

Throwing on a bikini. After going to the beach in Rio de Janeiro, I realized we spend too much time in this country covering up our flaws. There, the more imperfections, the more you show them off. We all have dimples, but nobody has ever said, “Man, I would’ve loved her had it not been for the cellulite!”

Best

QUICK WORKOUT

The stairs. Everyone is always crazy for the latest exercise class, but the steps are free intense cardio. The huge outdoor staircase in Santa Monica will kick your butt.

Best

RECENT READ

Black Boy, by Richard Wright, which I just reread after the Trayvon Martin case. I live with four black males—my boyfriend, Dwyane Wade, and three boys; it’s important to me to learn how they move through the world.

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Commando underwear. They’re seamless with no stitching, so you can wear them with everything— a game changer. I have, like, 100 pairs in black girl nude. —as told to a.d.

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HUMAN/ NATURE

Animal Magnetism

Montrose (with a bear cub, inset) shoots a cow’s portrait in Los Angeles, 2008.

Baby giraffe and baby zebra photographs from Montrose’s Hoof series.

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LIKE ANY GREAT portrait photographer, Sharon Montrose reveals her subjects through telling details: a cocked head, glinting eyes…a jauntily raised paw. “Bear cubs in the studio? That’s just another day!” she says. Her captivating, intimate shots portray winged, tailed, and clawed creatures in all their quirky, oddly human glory. Says the Los Angeles–based Montrose, 39, “I want them to come in and simply rock who they are.” Montrose grew up in a pet-filled household—her mom “was a bit of a cat hoarder”—which explains why she’s always felt at home in furrier company. She discovered photography by accident during her junior year of high school. “Photo class sounded easy,” she confesses, “so I bought a cheap Nikon and put some film in it—and I came to life.” After graduation, Montrose worked as a photo assistant and shot the occasional wedding, but something wasn’t clicking. “I was quite shy around people,” she says, “which made it tough to connect to my subjects.” Then, while on a commercial shoot in 2006, she asked to photograph one of the extras: a donkey. As soon as she looked through the lens, she knew she was onto something. “I realized I could stop time,” Montrose says, “and see the animal’s charms, which usually pass by too quickly to notice.” Since that impromptu shoot, Montrose has photographed hundreds of critters— geese, goats, lambs, snow leopards—from local farms, sanctuaries, and shelters; she sells the prints through her virtual gallery, the Animal Print Shop (theanimalprintshop.com). While her portraits’ stripped-down aesthetic is simple, the production is carefully orchestrated. In the studio, Montrose keeps things mellow with jazz or country music (she has a soft spot for Willie Nelson), and handlers stand by to ensure the animals’ safety. “The environment is controlled,” Montrose says, “although some days do end with a wolfpuppy cuddle session.” Rather than trying to direct or manipulate her subjects, Montrose patiently observes their behavior until she gets the poses that capture their personalities. Surprisingly, exotic animals make the best models. “Elephants just stand there, man!” Montrose says. “But there is nothing harder to photograph than a 12-week-old kitten.” —zoe donaldson

IMAGES COURTESY OF SHARON MONTROSE/ THE ANIMAL PRINT SHOP

Photographer Sharon Montrose captures the hidden personalities of lions, tigers, bears, and more.

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GLOBETROTTER FOR GOOD

Kenyan girls learn how to use their reusable pads. Inset: Mergens in Zimbabwe, July 2012.

Celeste Mergens is helping girls and women around the world navigate “that time of the month.”

IN OCTOBER 2008, after more than a year spent working with a Kenyan orphanage, Celeste Mergens dashed off an e-mail that would change her life. “I’d thought so much about how to help those girls get food, water, textbooks, and cooking stoves,” says Mergens, “but until then I’d never asked what they use for their periods.” The stunning reply: “Nothing. Most stay in their rooms and sit on cardboard.” Mergens rushed to spread the word, collected donations, and bought disposable pads for the 500 girls. But the orphanage had nowhere to properly discard the used pads. So Mergens came up with a better idea. “Friends and I started sewing immediately—a few sewed until their fingertips bled,” she says. “And three weeks later, we had made enough reusable pads for all the girls.” Soon after, Mergens, now 51, founded Days for Girls International, a grassroots network of thousands of sewing volunteers who create kits of washable cotton pads (which last up to three years) and underwear. Groups like the Peace Corps

SINGULAR WOMAN

have helped the kits reach more than 60,000 girls and women in 61 countries. “They no longer have to use leaves or corn husks or isolate themselves and miss school or work,” says Mergens, who is based in Lynden, Washington. Mergens travels to Africa a few times a year to collaborate with sewing collectives and train “health ambassadors,” who educate girls on the often-taboo topics of menstruation, reproduction, and refusing unwanted sex. “In a Zimbabwean classroom once, a sigh of relief spread through the room after we said that having a period is not a curse! If there were no periods, there would be no people.” But girls in developing nations aren’t the only ones who need Mergens’s help. The latest city to approach her organization? New Orleans. —linzee kull mccray GET INVOLVED! Start a team, gather fabric and kit supplies, put your sewing skills to work, and more. Visit daysforgirls.org to learn how.

And…Action! Will Hollywood always be a boys’ club? Not if Keri Putnam gets her way. EVEN A BLOCKBUSTER THAT’S TARGETED TO WOMEN and stars women almost always has a man in the director’s chair (hello, Bridesmaids). “Only 4 percent of the top-grossing movies are directed by women,” says Keri Putnam, executive director of Sundance Institute, who commissioned research in 2012 that revealed this frustrating statistic. “The good news is, that number made some noise.” To get more female talent at the annual Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah (kicking off on January 16), Putnam launched the Women Filmmakers Initiative, which pairs emerging female independent directors with industry leaders and offers workshops on writing and financing. “Sundance isn’t just celebrities in snow boots,” she says. “It’s a stage for new voices to bubble up.” Last year, for the first time ever, women directed half the pictures in the U.S. dramatic feature competition, Putnam adds—“a very bright sign to me!” Her own watch list includes Lake Bell, the actress who directed the witty In a World…, and Stacie Passon, who reinvents suburban midlife malaise in Concussion. This year, Putnam hopes a woman’s indie film will break out as a commercial hit. Hollywood, take note. —adrienne gaffney P H O T O G RA P H B Y C O RA L V O N Z U M WA LT

M E R G E N S , F R O M TO P : C H E Y E N N E E L L I S . K AY T E R E A G A N . P U T N A M , H A I R A N D M A K E U P : E M I LY K AT E WA R R E N U S I N G M A K E U P F O R E V E R .

Period Drama

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EXPERT ADVICE, INSIGHT, REALLY SMART MOVES

Are You There, Gut? It’s Me, Martha

P R O P S T Y L I S T : R O B I N F I N L AY. HAIR AND MAKEUP: LISA GLEESON.

Sure, we’d all love to trust our instincts—if only we could hear them. Martha Beck reveals how to quiet what you’re thinking long enough to figure out what you actually feel.

News flash: Instincts aren’t thoughts. They’re grounded in feelings.

PHOTOGRAPHS BY ADAM VOORHES

“LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION,” they say. “Trust your gut.” But what if you’re so paranoid that you fret about a nuclear attack on rural Wyoming, or so optimistic that you watch Bambi over and over, certain that this time his mom will survive? What can you do to ensure that your true feelings aren’t being distorted? The problem is that none of the folksy phrases telling us to trust our instincts explain what an “instinctive hunch” looks like. On top of this, we spend our whole lives being taught to override our intuition. We’re taught to think things through, really think about it, give it some thought. News flash: Instincts aren’t thoughts. They’re grounded in feelings. And learning how to see through a thought-based reaction to the instinct beneath it is a powerful way to steer yourself toward a happy, healthy life. JANUARY 2014

OPRAH.COM 37

May We HelpYou?

Feeling Versus Thinking

Gut? It’s Me. Let’s Catch Up! If you’re having trouble tapping into your instincts, I’d love for you to try something. Recall a positive situation from your past or 38 OPRAH.COM

JANUARY 2014

a person who’s proven to be a positive presence in your life. Now recall moments when you realized you were doing the right thing at the right time, or moments when you felt love and trust for the person you’ve identified. Think about the sensations you felt—did you smile, relax your shoulders, feel a warm glow in your solar plexus? Now think about a negative situation from your past or about someone who’s been an unpleasant force in your life. Recall the moments when you knew this situation or person was wrong for you. Did your stomach lurch? Did your heart race? Now pick a current situation in your life (a job, a hobby, a workout) or a person you met recently. Holding the image of the activity or person in your mind, observe any feelings that arise. Don’t censor or judge them. Are your reactions more similar to the feelings you had about the positive event or person or the destructive one? Whatever the answer, you’re starting to get in touch with your instincts. Now imagine what course of action you’d take in regard to this situation or person if you had

no fear of looking strange but only a clear imperative to act on your feelings. Would you increase the time you spend together? Stop connecting with the person? Whether you follow your instinctive guidance or not, notice what happens. If you’ve tapped into your true feelings, you’ll discover that over time this situation or person will likely turn out to be as your instincts predicted. Maybe you’ve trusted your instincts all along—in which case this exercise probably won’t surprise you. But if you tend to focus on thoughts and ignore your feelings, you might find it illuminating. Maybe you’ll begin to see where thoughts misled you into trusting the untrustworthy, or pushing away experiences that were in your best interests. You’ll begin tapping into your instincts, which tap into the truth, which—as you instinctively know—can set you free. M MARTHA BECK’s latest book is The Martha Beck Collection: Essays for Creating Your Es Right Life, Volume R One (Martha Beck Inc.). O

BECK: CHRIS ECKERT

Complex thinking has been around for an eyeblink compared with the millions of years of evolution that went into developing our senses. Thoughts can “spin” our reactions to what we encounter, while the gut-deep impulses we get from instinct are usually more honest. Replacing instincts with thoughts trades some of our strongest observation software for some of our weakest. Yet most adults couldn’t tell you the difference between a thought and a feeling if you put a gun to their heads. In fact, let’s pretend I’m putting a gun to your head. What do you feel? I’m going to die is a thought. Panic is a feeling. She has no right to do this is a thought. Anger is a feeling. Unless you can describe it as a sensation, whatever’s going through your mind is not instinct but thought. Distinguishing gut from brain can get especially tricky when, on top of overriding our instincts with thoughts, we then have emotional reactions to those thoughts. We feel something, ignore the feeling, decide something else is true, then have all kinds of emotions about what we just made up. In The Gift of Fear, violence-prevention specialist Gavin de Becker describes a scenario in which a woman waits for an elevator. When the door opens, there’s a man inside. He looks perfectly normal, yet the woman feels afraid. But out of courtesy, she ignores her feelings and enters a soundproof chamber with someone she fears—something no animal would even consider doing. To trust your instincts, you must quiet the clamor of social training. Happily, no matter how long you’ve ignored your instincts, they’re still there and still accurate.

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YOUR BEST YEAR YET

MARTHA BECK’S

Plan for Finding Joy If you’re ready to make the most of 2014, here’s a blueprint to help you start imagining your next step.

1 

HAVE A VISION. Begin basing choices on what makes you feel freer and happier, rather than how you think an ideal life should look. Start by finding images from magazines (or from books or the Internet) that depict your desired future and glue them to a large piece of butcher paper. If that makes you roll your eyes, I understand. But this strategy often works. The board itself doesn’t impact reality; what changes your life is the process of selecting the images—which will stick in your subconscious and steer your choices in a direction that helps make the vision real.

2

LET GO OF WHAT DOESN’T WORK.

Consider those things you’d like to release from your life—bad habits, toxic friends, old grudges— and as you hold them in your mind’s eye, inhale while silently repeating, Let it happen. When you exhale, think, Let it go. Practice this consistently, and you can strip most of the trauma and drama right out of your world.

DON’T BE AFRAID TO FAIL. People who worry about mistakes become paralyzed by that worry, but those who are relaxed about doing badly soon learn to do well. Success is built on failure. Job burnout? It’s steering you toward your perfect career. An awful relationship? It’s teaching you what love means. Finding a problem’s solution is what gives life its gusto.

3

PAY ATTENTION to what really matters to you. If you tend to include others’ priorities in your decision making, you must untangle yourself to know what’s important. This can be difficult at first, but you’ll soon discover that your life is waiting to help you choose what’s right for you, even when other people tell you that their own code-red desires should take priority. It does this by making things taxing when they’re not important, and delicious and relatively effortless when they are. Life feels good when it thrills you—and bad when it doesn’t.

4

Dr. Phil

“How’s That Working for You?” WHEN I WAS GROWING UP, my family was often dirt poor. At times we were living hand-to-mouth, so I understood from a very early age that I would need to earn a paycheck to carry my weight and help us meet our most basic needs. I knew there was always an end game: survival. When you’re that close to the edge, you become very results driven. Any time there was a choice to be made, I had to make the one that would actually work. It didn’t matter if I had the best intentions or big plans for the future—all that mattered was the outcome. We even used to say, “You can’t eat intentions, only results.” Guess I really wanted to eat! I suppose that’s how I came up with one of my favorite questions: “How’s that working for you?” When I ask that, I genuinely mean it. How is what you’re doing working for you? 40 OPRAH.COM

JANUARY 2014

Are you getting what you really want and need? As you head into the New Year, you’ve probably made resolutions designed to improve your career, your relationships, your health. I’m a big fan of setting goals, so good for you—I think we should do it a lot more often than once a year! But ask yourself whether you had basically the same list in January 2013. If that’s the case, then it’s safe to say that what you’ve been doing isn’t working. Life is about choices. If you decide to spend more time on your career, your family may suffer. If you decide to spend more time with your family, your career may suffer. The choice is yours, but you must choose. Even not choosing is a choice. Again, if you’re not getting the outcome you want, your motivation doesn’t matter. Have you punished your teenager to keep her from hanging with the wrong crowd only to discover that she’s been sneaking out to do drugs? You may have the right intentions, but what you’re doing isn’t working. Maybe you’re a tyrannical boss who demands perfection, but you can’t keep good employees. That’s not working either. Imagine seeing someone facing a wall and just banging his head against it, over and over. The wall isn’t moving, and his head is turning into hamburger, but he keeps on banging. You’d think he was nuts, right? That’s exactly what you’re doing when you make bad choices and then keep making them because…

well, just because. You don’t need a year of therapy to figure this out: If you’re not getting more of what you want and less of what you don’t, then it’s not working. If you’re resistant to taking a good look at yourself, it’s possible that you’re a “right fighter”: one of those people who spend far too much energy convincing the rest of the world that they’re right. They’re right as parents, they’re right at work, they’re right in their relationships, they’re right about politics—and they are all too ready to fight about just how right they are. These insecure people are too fragile to ask themselves how things are working for them, because they might not like the answer one bit. It might mean making a change or admitting they’ve been (dare I say it?) wrong. Doing what works requires insight and courage; it’s easier to keep doing exactly what you’ve done before. Getting out of your comfort zone can be frightening, even if your comfort zone isn’t really so comfortable. But if you want something different, then you have to do something different. You can choose to be right… or you can choose to be happy. I vote for the latter—but hey, it’s your call. The next time you get frustrated with your results, though, look in the mirror and ask yourself, How’s that working for you? Dr. Phillip C. McGraw’s daily talk show is in its 12th season. He has written seven best-selling books; his latest is Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World (Bird Street).

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S T Y L I S T : F I O N A G E B R E S E L A S S I E . H A I R : M I M I V O D N OY- L O V E . M A K E U P : J A N P I N G .

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YOUR BEST YEAR YET

DR. PHIL’S

Words to Live By in 2014 It’s time to stop dithering and start doing. Keep these nuggets of wisdom in a place where you’ll see them often (next to your computer, on the refrigerator, in your car)— and prepare to be inspired. On discovering your best possible self… “EVERYBODY HAS A PERSONAL TRUTH. A personal truth is what you believe about yourself when nobody’s listening and nobody’s watching.” “A STRONG SENSE OF SELF is

the foundation of personal power. If you define yourself by what someone else thinks, you’ve already lost the battle. Assert the right to be who you want to be.”

“A SUCCESSFUL REINVENTION doesn’t happen when you hate the person you are. It happens when you love yourself enough to believe that you can do better and deserve better.”

On making positive change… Successful people take action toward a known outcome. You can’t think about it. You have to do it—and you don’t do it for a week or a month. You do it until. Until you get what you want.” “THE UNIVERSE REWARDS ACTION.

“THE MAJOR DIFFERENCE between

a dream and a goal is a timeline for progress, coupled with accountability.”

“WE GENERATE THE RESULTS

in life we believe we

deserve.”

On finding joy and purpose… “HAPPINESS ISN’T A ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL PROPOSITION.

You must define what it looks like for you and then make a conscious effort to access whatever gets you to your unique definition of joy.” “IF THERE ISN’T SOMETHING IN YOUR LIFE that makes you wake up curious and excited to start the day, you will never be a powerful person. Passion is what fuels the jet engine propelling you toward a meaningful existence.” “YOU’RE GOING TO LIVE EITHER THE LIFE CHOSEN

the life assigned. I want you to live the life chosen.”

or

Dr. Oz

You Asked, I’m Answering! I’m always fielding health questions from friends, acquaintances, even people on the street— I consider it part of my job. Now it’s your turn: I’m here to address what’s on your mind.

I want to quit smoking this year. Are electronic cigarettes really a healthy alternative? A 2013 study in The Lancet found that e-cigarettes are about as effective as nicotine patches for kicking the habit, but you need to make sure that you’re not using them as an ongoing replacement for the real thing. What we know about e-cigarettes is limited, and when it comes to their long-term health effects, the jury is still out. I know quitting isn’t easy, but there are other alternatives that can help: A 2012 report found that smokers who underwent acupuncture were more than three times less likely to light up six months to a year down the road compared with those who received a placebo treatment in which acupuncture points weren’t stimulated. 42 OPRAH.COM

JANUARY 2014

When the 4 p.m. slump sets in, is an energy drink a good idea? For those who don’t drink coffee, these caffeinated boosters may seem like the silver bullet for overcoming afternoon fog—but I’m concerned about their high levels of caffeine and sugar. Energy drinks can contain up to 200 milligrams of caffeine per 16-ounce serving. Down two, and you’ve already hit the recommended upper limit of 400 milligrams for the day. You may also begin to feel jittery, have trouble sleeping, and even experience an abnormal heartbeat. One small study found that when people ages 20 to 39 consumed two energy drinks daily for a week, their systolic blood pressure spiked by as much as 9.6 percent, making such beverages a risky choice for those with hypertension. I’d rather you avoid all the extra sugar, too— some cans contain nearly 20 teaspoons—but if you just can’t give these drinks up, limit yourself to one a day. How little exercise can I actually get away with? I hear you—with our busy lives, finding time to squeeze in an hour at the gym can be more challenging than the workout itself. But it seems as if science has caught on to our dilemma: In the past few years, researchers have published several studies promising fast results from shorter workouts. A recent low is a four-minute routine that after ten weeks was shown to produce the same improvements in blood pressure, and blood sugar levels, as a 16-minute workout. But take note of the fine print:

The participants in the study also completed a ten-minute warm-up jog and a five-minute cooldown walk, so the total workout clocked in at 19 minutes. Intensity mattered, too. The exercisers did that four-minute burst at 90 percent of their maximum heart rate—the equivalent of rapidly climbing six to ten flights of stairs. If that kind of routine doesn’t appeal to you, you’re not going to stick with it—in which case you won’t see any benefit. The important thing is to find an activity you enjoy. Aim for at least 30 minutes daily; if you’re pressed for time, consider splitting your workout into 15-minute blocks.

There are now five different ways to get immunized against the flu. Which is best? Vaccines come in two forms: shot (which contains an inactive virus) and nasal spray (which uses a live but weakened virus). Both are good options for adults, but some studies suggest that the spray is more effective in kids. Next you’ll need to decide between quadrivalent and trivalent. Quadrivalent is the newest vaccine type—it immunizes against four varieties of the flu virus, as opposed to the traditional three. The remaining options are more specific, like the high-dose vaccine for adults age 65 and up, and an egg-free option for people who are allergic (eggs are typically used in vaccine production). Remember, the key to a flu-free winter isn’t which method you choose, but that you get vaccinated, period. Mehmet Oz, MD, is the host of The Dr. Oz Show (weekdays; check local listings).

PHOTOGRAPH BY GREG KESSLER

FASHION STYLIST: GREGORY WEIN AT ARTISTS BY TIMOTHY PRIANO. HAIR: ANNE SAMPOGNA . MAKEUP: LINDA MELO DANZO. COAT: KITON. SWEATER AND PANTS: BRIONI. BELT: BRUNELLO CUCINELLI. SHOT ON LOCATION AT THE CHATWAL , A LUXURY COLLECTION HOTEL , NEW YORK CITY, THECHATWALNY.COM, 212-764-6200.

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Get an annual PSA test and digital rectal exam and a virtual colonoscopy every five years or colonoscopy every ten years.

EVERYONE BENEFITS FROM: Not smoking; exercising; using SPF 30 sunscreen; eating colorful fruits and vegetables; being familiar with their bodies; and reporting any changes to a doctor ASAP. Learn more at MakingCancerHistory.com.

YOUR BEST YEAR YET

DR. OZ’S

5 Steps to a Healthier You My number one rule for resolutions: They must be realistic. These simple swaps fit the bill.

1 

EAT MORE HEALTHY FAT

Monounsaturated fatty acids (MUFAs)—found in olive oil, avocados, and nuts—may help prevent visceral (belly) fat, a kind that can trigger inflammation and put you at risk for diabetes and cancer. One study found that people who got roughly 25 percent of their daily calories from MUFAs gained no visceral fat, while those who ate fewer MUFAs and more carbs added the dangerous fat to their midsections.

2  3 

WALK IT OFF

You don’t need a gym to get an energizing workout. Simply walking in nature can significantly boost your self-esteem and mood, according to one study.

GO RED

If you want to put an end to “I can’t believe I ate all that,” reconsider the color of your dishes. A 2012 study found that people consumed less snack food when they used red plates as opposed to blue or white. Researchers think this may be because we subconsciously associate the color red with stopping.

4 

GET THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF SLEEP

Too little shut-eye (less than five hours) or too much (more than nine) may put you at risk for heart trouble. Short sleep sessions raise levels of the hunger hormone ghrelin, which is linked to increased calorie intake and could, over time, contribute to cardiovascular problems. Sleeping too much may lead to low levels of exercise—another risk factor for heart disease.

5 

HOP IN THE SACK!

A study in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found that people who had sex an average of 12 times per month had greater heart rate variability (HRV), a measure of how well the heart responds to subtle changes (like standing versus sitting). Higher HRV is a good thing; it may lower your risk of developing heart problems.

May We HelpYou? Roth IRA and savings accounts, and set up auto-pay for your credit cards. (Be sure to submit at least 10 percent more than the minimum due to pay off the principal sooner and limit interest charges.) The less you have to think about how to spend every dollar, the more likely you are to spend wisely.

THE STAGNANT STASH

Mistake-Proof Your Finances Suze offers a simple approach to tackling money matters in 2014.

AT THIS TIME of year, you might be tempted to draw up a long, overwhelming list of goals for the coming months. Fortunately, there’s an easier way to put your best financial foot forward: If you can avoid a few common money missteps, you’ll be on your way to a richer 2014 and beyond.

THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING PAYCHECK You’d like to save more for retirement, increase your emergency savings, and pay off your credit card debt. But no matter how much you want to do the right thing, 44 OPRAH.COM

JANUARY 2014

you find yourself spending your cash as soon as you earn it. Here’s an easy fix: Automate as many financial decisions as possible. Have the bank transfer a set amount every month from your checking account to your

Cash—in savings accounts, shortterm CDs, or money market deposits—is great for an emergency fund. But to fulfill a long-term investment goal like funding your retirement, consider buying stocks. The more distant your financial target, the longer inflation will gnaw at the purchasing power of your money. What you can get for $100 today will cost nearly $200 in 20 years if inflation averages 3.5 percent. Long-term investments that currently sit in cash accounts are likely earning less than 1 percent interest—that’s not nearly enough to beat the inflation rate.

THE NEVER-ENDING CAR LEASE Consumer auto research firm Edmunds.com estimates that Americans brought home 15.6 million new cars in 2013, the most since 2008. What worries me is that one in four of those cars was leased. If the lessees are rolling into a new contract every three years—as many are—they’re going to be making monthly payments indefinitely. If you’re shopping for new wheels in 2014, don’t lease. And when you buy, get a 36-month loan, even if the dealer offers 60 months. Your car is a depreciating asset. Borrow the smallest amount of money possible and pay it back as soon as you can.

THE DEBBIE DOWNER STRATEGY It’s normal to think about the future by focusing on what’s just happened rather than what took place in the past. But this tendency, called recency bias, could put your financial wellbeing at risk. During the 2008 recession, for instance, spooked investors quickly pulled billions of dollars out of stocks as the economy tanked; many of them didn’t reinvest their money in time to enjoy the market gain that followed—more than 150 percent since early 2009. When current events tempt you to make a hasty decision, remind yourself that market shifts, however unnerving, are temporary; the potential for growth is long-term.

THE DELAYED REACTION Time is key to building your financial security. Let’s say you start saving $200 a month at age 30. You could amass more than $398,000 (assuming an annual return of 6 percent) by age 70. Wait until 31 to start, though, and you’ll have about $25,000 less. That’s the power of compounding. This concept works in reverse with loans. Spend 30 years paying off a $300,000 mortgage at a 5 percent rate, and you’ll owe nearly $280,000 in interest charges. Send one extra payment a year, and you’ll shorten the life of the loan by more than four years while saving nearly $50,000 in interest. When it comes to tackling your financial goals, whatever they might be, there’s no time like the present. Suze Orman’s latest book is The Money Class: How to Stand in Your Truth and Create the Future You Deserve (Spiegel & Grau). To ask Suze a question, go to oprah.com/omagazine_talk.

PHOTOGRAPH BY SEAN LEE DAVIES

FA S H I O N S T Y L I S T A N D H A I R : K I M R O B I N S O N . M A K E U P : A L I C E S O AT K I M R O B I N S O N .C O M .

Suze Orman

DOES YOUR MORTGAGE COMPANY PUT YOU FIRST?

“ When I started United Security Financial, I had only one goal: help my clients get the best, most affordable mortgages. Period. Twenty-six years later, it’s still the philosophy that drives United Security. And it’s what sets us apart. When you’re ready to realize your dream, you need a partner that cares about that dream as much as you do.” –Lois Johnson, CEO United Security Financial is a direct lender offering low down payments and competitive rates and fees. We are a certified GNMA and FNMA issuer and offer FHA-VA conventional loans and VA no-down-payment loans.

For more information visit unitedsecurityfinancial.net or call 800.373.4186.

We are required by law to list the following licensing information. United Security Financial Corp. Is licensed as NMLS# 94915 Alabama Consumer Credit License 21101 Alaska Mortgage Broker/Lender License AK94915 Arizona Mortgage Banker License 0920945 Arkansas Mortgage Banker-Broker-Servicer License 104175 Department of Corporations under the California residential mortgage lending act Lender 4130374 Connecticut Mortgage Lender License ML-97915 District of Columbia Mortgage Dual Authority License MLB94915 Florida Mortgage Lender Servicer License MD803 Georgia Mortgage Lender License 19895 Idaho Mortgage Broker/Lender License 19895 Illinois Residential Mortgage License MB6760902 Indiana First Lien Mortgage Lending License 15402 Iowa Mortgage Banker License 2012-0048 Kansas Mortgage Company License MC 0025144Kentucky Mortgage Company License MC73336 Maine Supervised Lender License SLM12410 Maryland Mortgage Lender License 06-20533 Massachusetts Third Party Loan Servicer Registration LS94915 Michigan 1st Mortgage Broker/Lender Registrant FR0017559 Minnesota Residential Mortgage Originator License MN-MO-94915 Mississippi Mortgage Lender License 94915 Montana Mortgage Lender License 94915 Nebraska Mortgage Banker License NE94915 New Hampshire Mortgage Banker License 17339-MB North Carolina Mortgage Lender License L-154253 North Dakota Money Broker License MB102389 Ohio Mortgage Broker Act Mortgage Banker Exception MBMB850157 000 Oklahoma Mortgage Broker License MB002199 Oregon Mortgage Lending License ML-5132 Pennsylvania Mortgage Lender License 37593 South Carolina Mortgage Lender/Servicer License MLS-94915 South Dakota Mortgage Lender LicenseML04968 Tennessee Mortgage License 109115 Utah-DRE Mortgage Entity License 549005 Vermont Lender License 6385 Washington Consumer Loan Company License CL-94915 West Virginia Mortgage Lender License ML-31769 Wisconsin Mortgage Banker License 94915BA Wyoming Mortgage Lender/Broker License 2338 United Security Financial Corp is licensed under the laws of the state of Texas and by state law is subject to regulatory Oversight by the department of savings and mortgage lending. Any consumer wishing to file a complaint against United Security Financial Corp. should complete, sign, and send a complaint form to the department of savings and mortgage lending 2601 North Lamar, Suite 201, Austin, Texas 78705 Complaint forms and instructions may be downloaded and printed from the departments website located at http://www.sml.texas.gov or obtained from the department upon request by mail at the address above by telephone at its toll free consumer hotline at 1-877-276-5550 By fax at (512) 475-1360 or by e-mail at [email protected] The department maintains the mortgage broker recover fund to make payments of certain actual out of pocket damages sustained by borrowers caused by acts of licensed residential mortgage loan originators. A written application for reimbursement from the recovery fund must be filed with and investigated by the department prior to the payment of a claim for more information about the recovery fund please consult subchapter F of the mortgage broker license act on the departments website referenced above

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YOUR BEST YEAR YET

SUZE ORMAN’S

No-Sweat Fiscal Fitness Checklist Make just one small change each month, and by this time next year you’ll be in the best financial shape of your life.

JANUARY: If your employer matches employee contributions to a 401(k), sign up now. Make sure you set aside enough to qualify for the maximum company match. FEBRUARY: By now you should have all the documents you need to complete your 2013 taxes: your W-2, 1098 (if you have a mortgage), and 1099 forms. File early, and you’ll receive your refund (if you’re owed one) that much sooner. MARCH: Toss old paperwork. Ditch your utility bills, pay stubs, and bank and credit card statements after 12 months unless you plan to take a tax deduction for a home office. In that case, keep those supporting documents for three years. Hold on to your tax returns indefinitely. APRIL: If you do file your taxes in April, let your return guide your next move. Earned a refund? Adjust your W-4 withholding so that money stays in your paychecks this year. Owe a penalty? Make sure you’re having enough withheld. MAY: Mortgage holders, check your homeowner’s insurance. If rebuilding costs in your area have changed, you might have too much (or too little) coverage. JUNE: With graduations and weddings coming up, you’re probably purchasing presents.

Respect your current financial situation. No one wants you to spend money you don’t have. JULY: Confirm that your parents have the key estate documents: a will, a revocable living trust, and durable power of attorney for both healthcare and financial matters. AUGUST: As your kids get ready for school, think about teaching them some new money rules. Instead of giving an allowance, try a work-forpay setup. It’s a better way to impart the value of money. SEPTEMBER: Visit AnnualCreditReport.com, where you can access your reports on file at the big-three credit bureaus—for free. See mistakes? Obtain your FICO credit score ($19.95; myfico.com). OCTOBER: Prepare for the unexpected. For most families, term life insurance makes sense. Find a policy at Select Quote.com or AccuQuote.com. NOVEMBER: Evaluate your benefits package for the coming year. If you’re in good health, reduce your premiums by signing up for a plan with a higher deductible, then invest in a health savings account. DECEMBER: Avoid that nasty January credit card bill by paying for everything in cash this month—the surest way to start the New Year right.

May We HelpYou?

Dare to Play A truly inspired New Year’s resolution. A FEW YEARS AGO, I noticed in my research that wholehearted people—my term for men and women with the courage to be vulnerable and live their lives “all in”—shared something else, too: They goofed off. They spent time doing things that to me seemed frivolous, like gardening and reading. I couldn’t really wrap my head around it—were they slackers? Then one day, while I watched my kids jump on the trampoline in our backyard, it hit me: Wholehearted adults play. Researcher Stuart Brown, MD, describes play as time spent without purpose. To me this sounds like the definition of an anxiety attack. I feel behind if I’m not using every last moment to be productive, whether that means working, cleaning the house, or taking my son to baseball practice. But I can’t ignore what the research (mine and others’) tells us: Play—doing things just because they’re fun and not because they’ll help achieve a goal—is vital to human development.

Brown believes that play is at the core of creativity and innovation. Play can mean snorkeling, scrapbooking, or solving crossword puzzles; it’s anything that makes us lose track of time and selfconsciousness, creating the clearing where ideas are born. Which means it’s a mistake to restrict play to vacations. In 2014, I hope you’ll join me in resolving not to base your self-worth only on your productivity. It’s playtime!

THE DARE Create a play list. Write down three activities you could do for hours on end. Mine are reading, editing photos on my computer, and playing PingPong with my family.

Now carve out time on your calendar. Even when I’m busiest, I schedule unstructured time. It’s important to protect playtime the way you protect work, church, or PTA meetings.

Play well with others. When my husband and kids made their own play lists, we realized that our usual vacations, which involved sightseeing, weren’t really anyone’s idea of play. So now we go places where we can hike, swim, and play cards—things that make us all our most silly, creative, and free-spirited selves. Brené Brown, PhD, is the author of Daring Greatly (Gotham Books).

Iyanla,

Fix My Life! How Do I Break a Negative Pattern?

1. First, notice it. Maybe you always end up in drama-filled relationships, or you go through endless cycles of overeating and guilt. The challenge with negative patterns is that they’re unconscious. But we can train our minds to recognize them by paying attention to our emotions: When we feel pain we’ve felt countless times before, we must ask ourselves why. 2. Second, know its cause. We fall into patterns because we fail to face reality. We return to the same bad situation, hoping that this time will be different. I’ve said it before: What we resist will persist. When we aren’t honest with ourselves about what we feel, we are doomed to repeat our mistakes.

3. Slow down! Many patterns occur because we move too fast to see things for what they really are. We meet someone today and go on a date tomorrow, and by the next day, we’re already imagining the wedding. The key is to manage our expectations to see what’s really occurring right in front of us.

4. Forgive yourself. Forgiveness clears out the residue of the past. Until we forgive ourselves for what we did, did not do, or should have done, we will repeat our patterns. But when the mind is clear of guilt and shame, it focuses on what is here instead of what was, and lets us take each moment as it comes.

5. Check in. When we recognize that we’re doing (again) what we’ve always done, we can’t wait: We must stop ourselves in the moment. Ask yourself, What am I doing, and why? Breathe yourself through that thought—and make another choice right then and there.

Iyanla Vanzant is the host of OWN’s Iyanla: Fix My Life and the author of Peace from Broken Pieces (SmileyBooks).

B R O W N : L E A N N M U E L L E R . H A I R A N D M A K E U P : J E N N I F E R A R O N S O N / Z E N O B I A A G E N C Y. VA N Z A N T: G A RY LU P TO N / S T U D I O D. S T Y L I S T: L I S A M O S KO. M A K E U P : C A N D I C E C R AW F O R D / G R E E N . B E A U T Y. L I F E .

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YOU LOVE HOMEMADE CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP. ESPECIALLY WHEN SOMEONE ELSE MAKES IT.

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The

P R O P S T Y L I S T : J U L I E F LY N N F O R FA U C H E R A R T I S T S

A few (creatively updated) things we think are just great!

SPECIAL MAK EOVER EDI TION

List

Magic Fingers These colorful gloves are as bright as they look. Special nano-metallic conductive yarn lets you swipe a touch screen with three of the fingers, keeping you both cozy and connected. (Rothko Touchscreen Gloves, originally $29 a pair, now 20 percent off with code OPRAH; shop.verloopknits.com)

PHOTOGRAPHS BY GREGOR HALENDA

JANUARY 2014

OPRAH.COM 49

Brushes with Greatness This gorgeous travel-ready leather case holds a set of full-size sable-blend brushes that fit every conceivable makeup need. Bonus: There’s a roomy zippered compartment for all your pots and pencils. (Robinson Brush Roll Set, $150; toryburch.com)

Your Best Shot A smartphone—or pure genius? This device from Samsung includes a 16-megapixel camera and a 10x optical zoom lens, allowing you to capture digital camera–worthy pics with one sleek 7.3-ounce gadget. (Galaxy S4 Zoom, starting at $199 with carrier contract; samsung.com)

Run-Way Model At last, a running sweatshirt that won’t turn you into a schlumpadinka. This Adidas by Stella McCartney number is not only functional (it’s made of moisture-wicking nylon and spandex), but also fabulous (we love the oversize drawstring collar). (Adidas by Stella McCartney Run Sweatshirt, $140; adidas.com)

Mightier than the Germ In time for flu season, here’s a pen that won’t go viral: Made of solid brass, which kills bacteria and other harmful microorganisms, this handsome instrument naturally self-sterilizes. Unlike that ball-point chained to the counter at the bank. (Hatch Etched Roller Ball, designed by Karl Zahn for Acme Studio, $104; designmafia.net)

Pumping Up the Volumes Exquisitely bound with designs by contemporary illustrator Daniela Jaglenka Terrazzini, these children’s classics—including The Wind in the Willows, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, and Anne of Green Gables—are treasures both inside and out. (Puffin Classics Collectible Hardcover Editions, originally $17 each, now 20 percent off with code OPRAH; us.penguingroup.com)

Sweet Nothings Sure, you might be tempted to call these organic, 12-calorie, naturally colored, corn-syrup-and-preservative-free candies “health food,” but with flavors like California pomegranate with sweet freestone nectarine, it’s easier to just call them yum. (Organic Hard Candy, originally $5 per two-ounce tin, now 20 percent off with code OPRAH; torieandhoward.com)

Time Traveler This small, sleek travel alarm clock houses a powerful hi-fi sound system and streams music wirelessly from any Bluetooth-enabled device—so you can party into the night and still get up in time for your flight. (Model XS, originally $200, now 20 percent off with code OPRAH; genevalab.com)

Butter Me Up As soon as Oprah tried this body butter, she ordered an entire case of it. An organic blend of butterfly tree extract, buriti oil, karité butter, distilled orange water, and jojoba oil, the rich cream keeps skin silky for hours. (Comfort Zone Sacred Nature Bio-Certified Body Butter, originally $56, now 20 percent off with code OPRAH; doobop.com)

Bowled Over The latest offering from our friend Curtis Stone? Nonslip melamine mixing bowls with easy-to-grip handles, convenient pouring spouts, and interior measuring lines, so you don’t need measuring cups. (Curtis Stone Hold Me Melamine Mixing Bowls, originally $50 for three, now 20 percent off with code OPRAH; chefini.com)

Nice Rack No draping laundry on this baby! The sleek Lucite rack holds eight 4.4-pound disks, eight 1.1-pound disks, and two handles that let you create your own customized dumbbells. (Wellness Rack, $795; technogym.com)

Buzz Worthy Here’s coffee that won’t sober you up: a tantalizing blend of award-winning silver tequila and fine Italian espresso that you can sip neat or mix into a high-octane cocktail. (Espresso Liqueur, $25 for 750-milliliter bottle; tequilaavion.com)

For the Girls Think of this as the Clark Kent of tank tops. Despite a mildmannered appearance, its superstrong cotton-spandex blend heroically offers the support of a bra without the pesky straps. It makes comfortable loungewear, too, if you’re not quite ready to go commando in public. (Tummy Tucker, originally $39, now 20 percent off with code OPRAH; bra30.com)

Hot Stuff Gayle tested this lightweight (18.3 ounces!) little dryer with her hairstylist, and they were both, well, blown away by how quickly it worked its magic. With an airflow that can clock in at 80 miles per hour, frizz doesn’t stand a chance. (Harry Josh Pro Tools Pro Dryer 2000, $300; hairenvy.com)

Bark Avenue In posh flavors like Chicken Cordon Blue, Truffle Mac & Cheese, and (for the trendy, health-conscious canine) Green Juice, these organic, preservative-free doggy treats are made with fresh produce and humanely raised meats. (Biscuit Tins, originally $15.50 per tin, now 20 percent off with code OPRAH; boccesbakery.com)

JANUARY 2014

OPRAH.COM 51

ADAM’S

Leader of the Pack W Whether you’re schussing down the slopes or stretching out on n the sand, these finds guarantee that you’ll vacation in style.

PARKA

This new collaboration combines fashionforward prints with onmountain functionality. (L.A.M.B. for Burton, $330; burton.com)

SNOW BUNNY

SUN GODDESS

Cold weather gear for après-ski and beyond.

Beachy pieces that are laid-back yet polished.

FEDORA

A glamorous, packable form of sun protection. ($220; tracywatts .bigcartel.com) .bigca artel.com)

SWIMSUIT

SUNGLASSES

Reflective lenses up the cool factor. (Michael Kors, $125; 866-709-5677)

MUST-HAVES Travel essentials for any destination.

Reversible, le, so you can travvel light.. (Commando, ndo, $188; mmando wearcommando .com) om)

SCARF

adam says:

Neck warmer, blanket, and impromptu pillow cover. ($159; donnicharm.com)

ADAPTER

This set converts electricity in 150 countries. ($25; flight001.com)

“Travel is no excuse to be schlumpy.”

COVER-UP C

Wear it over a bikini for sunset cocktails. ($150; thesurfbazaar.com) thesu urfbazaar.com CASHMERE SWEATERS

DUFFEL BAG

GLOVES OVES

Fits all you need for a weekend jaunt. ($143; nevedesigns .com)

Substantial al Polartec 200 fleece ce makes them as warm arm as they are stylish. sh. ($19; landsend.com) nd.com)

SPRAY

A chic, affordablee defense against airplane chill. ($79 each; joefresh.com)

L’Wren Scott designed the bottle for this cult tonic. (Caudalie Beauty Elixir Limited Edition by L’Wren Scott, $49; caudalie.com)

STRAW TOTE

Perfect for carrying poolside necessities. ($275; flora-bella.com)

TRAVEL WALLET FLATS PUFFER VEST

Comfy, compact, and so m much cuter than sneaks. ($178; aerin.com)

The sunny yellow reverses to camo. (Duvetica, $675; shopstyle.com)

FURRY BOOTS

SUNGLASSES SUN U GLA LAS S SES

Folds into its own bag!

Super warm rm and slip-resistant.. el ($150; sorel .com)

MONOGRAM RAM BAG AG WATCH HATS

Neon knits that won’t get lost in the crowd. (Autumn Cashmere, $125 each; shopkitson.com)

52 OPRAH.COM

Keeps receipts, currency, and your passport close. ($150; abas.net)

JANUARY 2014

BRACELETS

Nautical designs add a sporty touch. ($90 to $105 each; sailormadeusa.com) deusa.com)

Holds everything thing ing from snacks and a blanket to in-flightt entertainment. ($25, $25 plus $8 for monogramming; llbean.com)

White and ttortoise glam up oversize frames. frames ($99; seeeyewear .com) FLIP-FLOPS FL

Dressy enou D ough to go straight to dinner. (Bernardo, (B $68 a pair; madisonlo madisonlosangeles.com)

G L A S S M A N : G R E G K E S S L E R . M A R KO M E T Z I N G E R / S T U D I O D. S T Y L I S T : A N I TA S A L E R N O F O R R . J . B E N N E T T R E P R E S E N T S . R O P E B R A C E L E T S A N D S W E AT E R S : R I C H A R D M A J C H R Z A K / S T U D I O D. S T Y L I S T : P H Y L L I S E VA N S B A K E R /A N Y WAY M G M T. F L AT S : G R E G O R H A L E N D A . S T Y L I S T : J U L I E F LY N N . M I C H A E L KO R S , L A N D S ’ E N D, N E V E , S O R E L , C A U D A L I E , A N D F L I G H T 0 0 1 : C O U R T E S Y O F T H E C O M PA N I E S .

STYLE SHEET

Love That!

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GREAT BUYS

UNDER $100!

What’s black and white and red all over? These on-trend, affordable pieces.

Go ahead, stack ’em up: Striped and dotted bracelets are even better together. (andrewhamiltoncrawford.com)

Three looks in one! Black piping and a waist-cinching belt add striking definition (and curves!) to a basic turtleneck. (Anne Klein; macys.com)

This peplum dress unzips so you can wear the top and bottom separately. Genius! (originally $178, now $99 with code OPRAH; museapparel.com)

A figure-flattering windowpane-print pencil skirt features slimming black insets at the waist. (thelimited.com)

BLOCK PARTY Diane Kruger gets graphic in a Prabal Gurung gown and Casadei for Prabal Gurung shoes in New York City.

“These fresh Modinspired pieces are like a palate cleanser after fall’s somber neutrals.” —O CREATIVE DIRECTOR ADAM GLASSMAN

Layer a tweedy contrast-sleeved blazer over a checkered shell for a modern look. (Top, Chaus; dillards.com. Blazer, Everly Clothing; shopsosie.com)

Take a victory lap in checkered pointy-toe flats that will rev up any outfit. (Nine West; zappos.com) 54 OPRAH.COM

The boatneck sweater gets cheeky with this arty design. (Guess; lordandtaylor.com)

JANUARY 2014

The strap of this watch was inspired by the streets of Paris and London. (store.swatch .com)

A surprisingly roomy faux-croc bag features three compartments. (zara.com)

R I C H A R D M A J C H R Z A K / S T U D I O D. S T Y L I S T: P H Y L L I S E VA N S B A K E R /A N Y WAY M G M T. K R U G E R : B E N G A B B E / G E T T Y I M A G E S .

Faux-leather details make white wide-leg trousers winterworthy. (Calvin Klein; macys.com)

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O, Beautiful! NUDE NAILS

FA B U L O U S FA C E O I L S

PRIMER PERFECTION

LOOK WHAT WE FOUND!

Radiant Nudes

STYLIST: MARIANA VERA FOR HALLEY RESOURCES

Get ready to feel like a natural woman: Whatever your skin tone, you can find a flattering neutral nail color that will go with everything. Want proof? Behold this rich, wide-ranging palette of polishes, from the palest creamy buff to delicate rose to deep mauve. (For details see Shop Guide.)

PHOTOGRAPH BY KEVIN CREMENS

JANUARY 2014

OPRAH.COM 57

O, Beautiful! LOOK WHAT WE FOUND!

A TREND THAT’S HERE TO STAY

Oil Barons

Like many successful movements, this one started slow. A few people were excited about it, but there were skeptics, even dissenters. Recently, though, rubbing oil on your face has become accepted beauty practice. Once produced only by small brands, face oils are now on drugstore shelves and department store counters. So how do you use them? Let us count the ways: Massaged in every morning as a skin-smoothing base for makeup (or just sunscreen). Mixed with your favorite foundation (about one drop of oil to three pumps of makeup) when you want sheer coverage. Smoothed over a retinoid cream at night to prevent irritation and flaking. Patted over the flyaways around your hairline. (Hey, why not?) If you’re convinced this is a beauty crusade worth joining, try one of our four favorite ways to get involved:

Winter is harsh on the skin, so we’re always on the lookout for an intensely moisturizing body treatment. Bonus points if it smells great, too. So when these Ahava Mineral Botanic Rich Body Butters ($28 each; ahavaus.com) hit our desk, we knew we had three winners. A blend of hydrating minerals sourced from the Dead Sea, they’ll be our go-to nourishing creams this season. Look for them in three gorgeous scents. Our favorite: Honeysuckle & Lavender.

+

Hibiscus & Fig

L’Oréal Paris Age Perfect Glow Renewal Facial Oil

Z l Zelens Z-22 Absolute Face Oil ($105; zelens.com)

($25; drugstores) ores)

Origins O Plantscription Youth-Renewing Face Oil

Dior Capture Totale Haute Nutrition Oil Sérum

($50; origins.com)

($145; dior.com)

+

WE TRIED IT...

Lotus & Chestnut

CND Vinylux Manicure What goes on—and comes off—like regular nail polish, but won’t chip or fade for at least a week? “Absolutely nothing,” we would have said before we tried CND’s new Vinylux polish ($10; cnd.com for salons). Seven days after we brushed it on, the deep red was still pristine. By day ten, when there were small nicks at the tips, a regular acetone-based polish remover and a couple of cotton balls wiped our nails clean. (The gel and “hybrid gel” polishes that last up to two weeks won’t come off completely unless you soak yyour fingertips in acetone.) The Vinylux manicure requires just two ccoats of color—take your pick of 62 shades—and a top coat. A Another reason to try it: The polish dries in less than ten minutes.

+

Honeysuckle & Lavender

C N D V I N Y LU X A N D A H AVA : M A R KO M E T Z I N G E R / S T U D I O D. B OT T L E S : C O U R T E S Y O F C O M PA N I E S . O I L D R O P : O K E A / I S TO C K P H OTO / G E T T Y I M A G E S . A H AVA I N G R E D I E N T S : G E T T Y I M A G E S .

Better Butter

after

M A K E U P : R E B E C C A R E S T R E P O F O R E L I Z A B E T H A R D E N AT T H E WA L L G R O U P. H A I R BY B I R G I T T E F O R R E N É F U R T E R E R . M A N I C U R E : G I N A E D WA R D S AT K AT E RYA N I N C . F O R C H A N E L . C U R L E R A N D T O N I & G U Y : C O U R T E S Y O F C O M PA N I E S .

AM I DOING THIS RIGHT?

Eye Makeup Under Glasses Because she wears specs, Nicolette Cothron, 39, took a why-bother attitude toward eye makeup. How shortsighted! With the right products and techniques, Nicolette’s eyes can have a stunning impact—even under glass. Makeup artist Rebecca Restrepo showed her exactly how.

before

1

2

3

4

Curl your lashes. Upturned lashes make your eyes look wide and bright. For the most noticeable curl, squeeze the curler as close to the root of your lashes as possible, holding it for a few seconds. If you have long lashes, pump once more at the tips.

Trace eyeliner along your upper lashline and your waterline, the inner rim of your lower lashes. (If your eyes are small, line only the outer third of your waterline.) Dark gray and brown flatter every eye color and look less harsh than black. Skip eyeshadow—it won’t show under glasses unless you pile it on.

Apply two coats of volumizing mascara to your top lashes. First, get the full length of the brush as close as possible to your lashline and wiggle it back and forth, moving up to the tips of your lashes. For the second coat, use only the tip of the brush to separate.

Eyeglass frames can cast shadows around your eyes, so minimize natural darkness with concealer. (As a final step, it also helps clean up makeup smudges.) Use your ring finger to tap the concealer gently under your eyes, going all the way from the inner to outer corners if necessary.

Curlfriend Shu Uemura recently introduced the S Curler, a new compact version of its cult-favorite eyelash curler, with an angled pad to rest against the eyelid (steadying your hand) and a small frame to capture lashes at the inner and outer corners. ($24; shuuemura-usa.com)

HAIR PRODUCT OF THE MONTH

Toni & Guy Shine Gloss Serum ($15; target.com) WHY WE LOVE IT: This lightweight serum’s bracing scent (with notes of bergamot and ginger) caught our attention first. But here’s what hooked us—just two pumps, applied from midlength to ends, give hair a shiny, smooth finish without a trace of greasiness.

PHOTOGRAPHS BY GARY LUPTON

JANUARY 2014

OPRAH.COM 59

O, Beautiful!

O’S BEAUTY DIRECTOR, VALERIE MONROE, ON WHAT YOU NEED…AND WHAT YOU’LL LOVE.

Blue Heaven aven I’m always keeping an eye out ut for o my another treasure to add to ad a fine lotion collection, so I had hen eureka moment recently when go I discovered Tatcha Indigo m Soothing Silk Hand Cream h ($38; tatcha.com). It’s packed with anti-inflammatory indigo (giving it a light blue tint that disappears on the skin), and green tea, red algae, and rice bran extracts, which have long-term skinsoftening effects. But it’s the instant silkiness that lands this cream at the top of my list.

ONE-SENTENCE REVIEW

DKNY Be Delicious Skin Hydrating Eau de Toilette The latest version of this crisp fragrance ($60 for 1.7 ounces; sephora.com) is a novelty: an eau de toilette that also moisturizes, thanks to skin-nourishing ingredients like aloe and mulberry leaf extracts.

Royal Flush

Linked In I’m a big fan of having fun—especially when it comes cheap. These new Revlon ColorStay ShadowLinks ($3 each; drugstores) will give you hours (or months) of amusement. They come in 30 shades and a variety of finishes, from matte to sparkly. Best of all, the individual shadows snap together so you can create your own eye-deal customized palette.

Ask Val

What’s the right way to use makeup primer?

Searching for a natural-looking blush leads to a kind of makeup paradox: You’d like to add color to your face, but you don’t really want anyone to notice it. Your best bet: Benefit Lollitint ($30; benefitcosmetics.com), a stain that sinks in so your skin seems to radiate from within. Apply the liquid with the nail-polish-style brush, dotting it on the apples of your cheeks, then blend. And watch the glow begin.

A primer creates a smooth, flawless canvas for foundation and powder and keeps them from settling into fine lines and wrinkles, says flawless-faced makeup artist Mally Roncal. Squeeze a dime-size amount onto your palm, then apply it to clean skin with your fingers, right after your moisturizer. If you have a question about makeup, skincare, or haircare, e-mail [email protected].

60 OPRAH.COM

JANUARY 2014

M A R KO M E T Z I N G E R / S T U D I O D. P E R F U M E : C O U R T E S Y O F D K N Y. F L O W E R S : H I L D A D E S A N C T I S /A L A M Y. M O N R O E : G R E G K E S S L E R .

Val’s

BEAUTY BUZZ

20 PADS

*vs. the leading Regular Maxi pad **This Maxi pad averages *0.35g less than the next leading brand’s Overnight Maxi pad under typical loading conditions © Procter & Gamble, Inc., 2013

Quotables R E P R I N T E D W I T H P E R M I S S I O N F R O M O R B Y A R R A N G E M E N T W I T H : A N G E L O U , I K N OW W H Y T H E C AG E D B I R D S I N G S, © 1 9 6 9 BY M AYA A N G E L O U , R A N D O M H O U S E . W O O L F, A W R I T E R ’ S D I A RY, T H E S O C I E T Y O F A U T H O R S A S T H E L I T E R A R Y R E P R E S E N TAT I V E O F T H E E S TAT E O F V I R G I N I A W O O L F. H E I M E L , V I L L AG E V O I C E , A V O I C E M E D I A G R O U P P U B L I C AT I O N . V O N N E G U T, C AT ’S C R A D L E , © 1 9 6 3 , 1 9 9 1 BY K U R T V O N N E G U T J R . , D I A L P R E S S . S A U N D E R S , T H E B R A I N D E A D M E G A P H O N E , © 2 0 0 7 BY G E O R G E S A U N D E R S , R I V E R H E A D B O O K S . L E W I S , T H E S C R E W TA P E L E T T E R S, © 1 9 4 2 C . S . L E W I S P T E . LT D.

Sometimes making a change requires a leap of faith—and a few words of encouragement. Let these pocket-size cards, whether slipped into a frame or between the pages of your journal, inspire you to take the first step.

“The need for change bulldozed a road down the center of my mind.” —Maya Angelou

“I don’t believe in ageing. I believe in forever altering one’s aspect to the sun.” —Virginia Woolf

“When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.” —Cynthia Heimel

“Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, ‘It might have been.’” —Kurt Vonnegut

“Anything is possible. Stay open, forever, so open it hurts, and then open up some more, until the day you die, world without end, amen.”

“And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.” —C.S. Lewis

—George Saunders

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Feeling Good

FOUR STEPS TO A HEALTHIER WORKDAY

THE O QUIZ: WHAT’S YOUR NUTRITION IQ?

The Doctor Will See You… and You… and You Now Can you get more from your checkup if you share it with strangers? By Emma Haak

ILLUSTRATIONS BY MARIA BRUNI

JANUARY 2014

OPRAH.COM 65

A

t 8 A.M. on a crisp fall morning, Allison*, a woman in her late 40s, is bending at the waist in an attempt to touch her toes. Allison suffers from back problems and numbness in her leg, and the doctor wants to see how low she can go before the pain hits; she gets to about midshin and stops. Most days, she says, her discomfort registers an eight out of ten. Allison has a roomful of observers who feel her pain—almost literally. Around her, in a loose semicircle, are three other patients with back problems awaiting their own turns with the doctor, Terence Doorly, MD. They’re all first-time patients of his and have signed up to see him in a group session. They watch as Doorly, an energetic neurosurgeon, tests Allison’s reflexes, then pulls up her latest MRI scans and points to the large herniated disk near the base of her spine. They learn, along with Allison, that this is the root of her pain, and that she’ll likely need surgery. As Allison slides off the exam table (fully clothed, in case you’re wondering), patient number two steps up. Jack*, who is in his early 70s, was blindsided by sudden pain in his back two weeks ago (“like someone had jabbed a knitting needle into my spine”).

Doorly asks Jack about his symptoms, checks his range of motion, and reviews his scans. Prognosis: Jack won’t need surgery but will require plenty of physical therapy. “You made out better than poor Allison!” Doorly jokes in his Irish brogue, and even Allison laughs good-naturedly at her worstcase-scenario status. No one seems hesitant about sharing personal information. (Jack remarks that steroid injections have made him gain weight he can’t seem to lose; Allison says she’s been there, too.) The session goes on for another 40 minutes as pa-

tients three and four are examined. Then Doorly wraps up by answering questions about treatment options. Four years ago, Doorly was the first physician at Mass General/North Shore Center for Outpatient Care in Danvers, Massachusetts, to offer shared medical appointments (SMAs). “At first, I did worry that my bond with patients would suffer,” he says. “But not a single person has complained that they didn’t get enough time with me. So many people have said, ‘I wish I’d been doing this all along.’ ”

STRENGTH IN NUMBERS Proof that shared medical appointments (SMAs) really can make a difference.

SMA

Non-SMA

BLOOD PRESSURE

APPOINTMENT WAIT TIME

13.7

6.4

25 days

58 days

decreased by 13.7 mmHg

decreased by 6.4 mmHg

new bariatric patients

new bariatric patients

66 OPRAH.COM

JANUARY 2014

ER AND INPATIENT CHARGES FOR UNINSURED PATIENTS

$230

$1,167

per patient per month

per patient per month

WEIGHT CHANGE

1

.8

percentage of weight lost

percentage of weight gained

Feeling Good

While the concept might sound offputting—one doctor meeting with up to 16 patients of varying ages at the same time— SMAs are catching on. According to the American Academy of Family Physicians (AAFP), the percentage of its members offering SMAs more than doubled, to nearly 12 percent, between 2005 and 2012. And at the Cleveland Clinic, where nearly 10,000 group appointments have been logged since 2002 (8,600 of them took place within the last three years), satisfaction is high: 85 percent of people who attend one SMA sign up for another. “The doctor really opens it up to everyone, asking what they want to know, what health news they’ve heard but don’t quite understand, what they’re curious about,” says 25-year-old Hannah Kish, of Euclid, Ohio, who went to her first group appointment during high school for an annual wellness visit and has attended two more in the past year. “At my most recent checkup, another patient wanted to know if mammograms were being recommended for women under 40. I hadn’t even thought to ask about that, so I was glad she did.” It’s exactly this sort of information sharing and camaraderie that’s attracting doctors to a more-themerrier approach. Not all patients are candidates for shared appointments (certain issues, such as an undiagnosed condition that may require extensive tests, might be poorly served in a group setting), but SMAs seem especially useful for those with chronic conditions. Sentayehu Kassa, MD, who offers SMAs for people with diabetes, hypertension, and high cholesterol at a clinic in Dallas, finds that her group patients tend to be more compliant with her instructions than those who see her one-on-one. “I’ll ask my diabetic group if they know anyone who’s lost a limb from the disease, and they’ll say, ‘My uncle’ or ‘My sister,’” Kassa says. “That drives home the importance of keeping blood sugar levels in check and maintaining a healthy diet. It’s no longer just a doctor preaching to them—it’s real people sharing their stories.” *Names have been changed.

Research bears out the effectiveness of the peer support model: A study in the journal Diabetes Care reported that when some 800 type 2 diabetics were assigned to either group or individual care, those who went to SMAs had lower LDL (bad) cholesterol, blood pressure, and body mass index after four years. “Chronic health conditions come with a great deal of fear, and there’s real power in knowing you’re not alone,” says Reid Blackwelder, MD, president of the AAFP. “You can hear how other people have overcome hurdles you may face.” Of course, skeptics might suspect that SMAs are really just a way for doctors to increase their income. By lumping multiple people into one time slot, doctors can indeed take in considerably more money, with patients coughing up the same co-pay they would if seen privately. According to one study in Group Practice Journal, physicians conducting shared appointments were able to see an average of 41 patients in nearly six hours—25 more than they could see one-onone. Yet Blackwelder maintains that shared appointments aren’t a way to game the system. “They require meticulous planning and allow patients to have more time with a doctor,” he says. “The positive outcomes are significant and can make them worth it for both the patients and the practice.” And with the Affordable Care Act set to cover 30 million previously uninsured Americans by 2021, SMAs may be exactly what’s needed to avoid logjams in waiting rooms. “With decreasing reimbursement and rising overhead costs, group visits may improve a patient’s access to care without leaving her feeling shortchanged or rushed through the process,” says Doorly. Alicia Eddy, who had basal cell carcinoma before attending an SMA in 2011 with other skin cancer patients, says she only wishes she had heard about the option sooner. “If something like this had been offered when I was younger, I think I would have been more informed and made changes to my skin care earlier,” says Eddy, 49. “As much as you can read information packets, nothing beats talking to other people.”

WILL I HAVE TO GET NAKED IN FRONT OF STRANGERS? Here’s what to expect at a shared medical appointment. NO, OTHER PATIENTS WON’T SEE YOU IN YOUR SKIVVIES. For appointments that require disrobing (like annual exams or dermatologic skin checks), the doctor sees each patient individually in a private room before the (fully clothed) group session. THERE MAY BE MEN IN YOUR SESSION— AND POSSIBLY PEOPLE YOU KNOW. Annual checkups are almost always same sex, but for conditions like diabetes, high cholesterol, or asthma, expect to see both men and women at your appointment. And because the doctor’s office can’t give you other patients’ names ahead of time, it’s possible that you’ll find yourself in a group with a co-worker or neighbor. If that happens and it’s an issue, you can reschedule. WHAT HAPPENS IN THE ROOM STAYS IN THE ROOM. Before a session begins, patients must sign confidentiality forms. YOUR CO-PAY WON’T INCREASE. Even though you’ll likely spend at least triple the time with your doctor compared with a oneon-one session, SMAs are billed the same; your out-of-pocket costs won’t change.

Feeling Good

Your Job, Only Healthier A few simple changes can make the daily grind a lot less grinding. IF YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR DAYS at a desk, here’s some unsettling news: That office job could be bad for your health. Research indicates that people who sit for long stretches of time are 68 percent more likely to be overweight or obese, 47 percent more likely to be depressed, and 49 percent more likely to die from any cause than those who are more active throughout the day. But don’t panic—there are ways (besides quitting) to avoid death by office job. Subtle shifts in how you work— and how you think about work—can lead to measurable differences in your short- and long-term wellness. These four strategies can fit into even the busiest routine.

GET THEE TO A WATER COOLER

!

;)

?

;<<

STOKE YOUR CREATIVE FIRE A study from the University of Texas at Austin found that out-of-the-box thinkers are significantly healthier than their less innovative counterparts—so much so that they scored the physical equivalent of people six or seven years younger. Some experts believe one reason for this may be that creative people can be more effective problem solvers and better able to remedy health issues that arise. You can benefit even if you don’t have an obviously “creative” job in a field like photography or architecture, says study coauthor John Mirowsky, PhD: Simply try doing everyday tasks in novel ways. If you normally write memos in report form, try PowerPoint. If you’re assigned a brainstorming project, come up with double the ideas required. “The more challenging something is, the more creative it becomes,” says Mirowsky, “which stimulates your mind in a new way.”

SPRUCE UP YOUR CUBE A recent study found that people in open work spaces who had brought in personal items—photos, posters, kitschy figurines, artwork—were less likely to report feeling emotionally exhausted. “This kind of per68 OPRAH.COM

JANUARY 2014

A study in Health Psychology surveyed the work lives of more than 800 people and found that those who experienced emotional support from their colleagues had a 41 percent lower risk of dying from any cause two decades later than those without sympathetic peers. The connection between work buddies and wellness may be linked to oxytocin, says study coauthor Sharon Toker, PhD, chair of the organizational behavior program at Tel Aviv University. Though oxytocin is often associated with feelings of calm, researchers have found that production of the tend-andbefriend hormone can also increase when we’re anxious, driving us to seek out compassionate friends. “When you have people you can turn to, their encouragement can help decrease stress and over time promote longevity,” says Toker. “But the opposite appears to be true also: If you don’t have a strong support system, the release of oxytocin may actually trigger more stress.”

PUNCH OUT ON A POSITIVE NOTE

sonalization allows workers to regain a sense of privacy and control of their environment,” says study coauthor Gregory A. Laurence, PhD, an assistant professor of management at the University of Michigan, Flint. “You’re saying to coworkers, This is what I want you to know about me, and that autonomy, no matter how small, appears to reduce burnout.”

A 2012 study in the Academy of Management Journal found that women who wrote down three positive events—career related or otherwise—at the end of each workday, plus a brief reason why they thought each good thing had happened (“My boss complimented my work because she appreciates the effort I put in”), not only reported lower levels of stress but also experienced a reduction in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, and muscle tension. “This simple intervention works against our impulse to focus on the rough spots in our day,” says study coauthor Joyce Bono, PhD, a professor of management at the University of Florida. “It gives you the power to reframe your mood—and improve your health.”

—camille noe pagán

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Feeling Good

A: It was all in the name of science, I swear! I was intrigued by the drug’s mind-expanding properties, which I’d heard about for years. One of the striking things I noticed while on acid was that I had absolutely no selfconsciousness regarding my body. I realized that on a basic level I was just a bunch of molecules, and I wasn’t worrying about taking up space. At the risk of sounding drug addled, I found that to be one of the most rewarding parts of the experience.

The Science of Psyche

But you’re not suggesting that people should start dropping acid, right?

How much can research really tell us about our essential selves?

THE TOPIC OF IDENTITY—what crafts it, what changes it—has always been fascinating on a deeply personal level for science writer Jennifer Ouellette, author of the new book Me, Myself, and Why. “I was adopted as a baby, so for me the natureversus-nurture question is kind of haunting,” she says. Ouellette turned herself into a human guinea pig, having her brain scanned, her personality tested—even experimenting with an illicit drug—in an attempt to understand what accounts for our sense of self. We wanted to learn more.

Where does one start on such a mission of self-exploration? A: One of the first things I did was get my genome sequenced. I spit into a tube, shipped it off to a lab, and a few weeks later received a report detailing what might be lurking in my genes. I learned that I’m at increased risk for macular degeneration— must start taking care of the eyes!—but at a somewhat decreased risk for Alzheimer’s. Yet the more I talked to researchers, the more I learned that, even with genetic predispositions, there are still no guarantees. I had assumed that there’s a gene for this or a gene for that, but it’s not so cut-and-dried.

Since genetics isn’t the whole story, where did your research lead you? A: Some of the most compelling work on identity is happening in, of all places, the 3-D virtual world Second Life. When people

create online identities in these simulated spaces, few stray far from representing themselves as they actually are. And there’s growing evidence that the more an avatar looks like you, the more you bond with it, and the more it may influence how you view yourself. Jeremy Bailenson, PhD, who founded Stanford University’s Virtual Human Interaction Lab, helped discover that if a person sees diet and exercise making her avatar thinner, she’ll feel more compelled to eat right and work out in the real world. It doesn’t take long. Spending about five minutes with your avatar—watching her run on a treadmill, for instance—may lead to changes in what you think you’re capable of accomplishing.

In the book, you talk about trying LSD. Did you really learn anything, or was it an excuse to do something a little crazy?

A: Of course not, but I do think there are things we can learn from it. A 2011 brain imaging study of people on a psychedelic called psilocybin found that when the subjects were under the influence, their brain activity dropped, especially in regions that ground us in reality—which suggests that when you’re not, say, on an acid trip, your brain is working to limit some stimuli so you can function properly. When those controls are removed, it can be a little disorienting, but neuroscientists think it could help them unlock mysteries about consciousness and self-perception.

So much of this science is still evolving. Did any of it get you closer to understanding who you are? A: I went into this with an assumption of what determined whether I was tall or outgoing or a lightweight drinker, and I thought doing a bunch of experiments would confirm my beliefs. But it became clear that tests alone couldn’t tell me much about how the self evolves and emerges. I can choose to seek out experiences that will help me, say, overcome shyness or develop a new skill so that I can become someone I didn’t think I could be 15 years ago. To me this means we shouldn’t be afraid to question the things we believe about ourselves—that we’ll never be good at this or that. The power to change may be even greater than we realize.

—jihan thompson JANUARY 2014

OPRAH.COM 71

Feeling Good

The Beauty of Getting It Wrong We all make mistakes, but new research shows there’s a right way to deal with them. By Bonnie Tsui I CAN REMEMBER, with aching clarity, some of the most mortifying mistakes I’ve ever made. There was the sixth-grade spelling bee (“S-T-A-L,” when spelling steal—in my head I thought I had already said the e); the geographical error in the first edition of one of my books (I said Fort Mason was in Sausalito, but it’s in San Francisco; a reader wrote in to excoriate my sloppiness); the time I left the car headlights on during a cold winter afternoon and returned an hour later to an engine that wouldn’t start (in this case, I did the excoriating myself ). We’ve all felt it: the forehead-smack frustration that comes with failing, forgetting, or simply being flat-out wrong. And to make matters worse, these errors tend to take center stage in our consciousness. 72 OPRAH.COM

JANUARY 2014

Psychologists call it the negativity bias: Our minds are highly attuned to focus on what we’ve done wrong, not what we’ve done right. From an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense; for our hunting-and-gathering ancestors, messing up was often a matter of life or death. Though modern-day mistakes don’t mean we’re going to end up being mauled by a saber-toothed tiger, we may still respond with the same urge to flee. But that response leaves us ill equipped to fix the kinds of errors we make these days, which usually require logical, methodical problem solving. To err may be human, but “we’re still afraid to admit when we’ve been wrong—it feels like an indictment of our self-worth,” says Kristin Neff, PhD, associate professor of human development and culture at the

University of Texas at Austin. This is unfortunate, because according to recent research, acknowledging our slipups is critical to recovering from them. When we make an error, most of us fall into one of two camps: those who have a fixed mind-set and think, Screw it, I’ll never be good at this, then try to shut out the mistake altogether; or those who have a growth mind-set and view an error as a “wake-up call,” identifying what went wrong and then adapting accordingly. It’s easier for the “wake-up call” camp to get back on their feet, says psychologist Jason Moser, PhD, director of the Clinical Psychophysiology Lab at Michigan State University. Moser led a small study in which he recorded the neural activity of participants who completed a simple task that required (continued on page 75)

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Feeling Good

NATURE CLEANS OUR AIR

them to identify a letter in the middle of different sequences. After the experiment, the researchers evaluated whether the participants had a fixed or growth mindset. The growth mind-set group made errors but quickly recovered; they showed enhanced brain activity on EEGs, indicating that they were focused on their mistakes and, as a result, were less likely to make a subsequent error. The fixed mind-set group didn’t show an enhanced neural response and were more likely to choose the wrong letter in the next sequence. “By paying attention to mistakes, we invest more time and effort to correct them,” says Moser. “The result is that you make the mistake work for you.” Fortunately, a growing body of research has found that we can rewire our response to mistakes so that they’re not just scary, anxiety-inducing rabbit holes. The key: self-compassion. “Several studies show that when we practice a new way of approaching failure, it can change an error from something we fear into something we embrace,” says Neff. “The hardest part is giving yourself permission to relate to the mistake differently.” One University of California, Berkeley, study published last year found that when a group of students failed a test, those who were reminded to be selfcompassionate (with phrases like “Try not to be too hard on yourself ” or “It’s common for students to have difficulty with tests like these”) were motivated to spend more time studying for the next

exam, compared with students who were given statements meant to simply boost their self-esteem (“You must be intelligent if you got into Berkeley!”). “We found that people who were taught to be kind to themselves felt more motivated to see their mistakes as a chance for growth,” says lead researcher Juliana Breines, PhD. “Outside validation didn’t seem to matter as much.” Recently, an out-of-town friend texted to remind me when she was scheduled to arrive at my house, and I realized that I had completely forgotten I’d invited her. I spent the entire night anxiously wondering, How could I forget a person? I’m going crazy! But in the light of morning, I took a deep breath. I cleared my calendar, pushed up a work deadline, rescheduled some events, and apologized to those I had double booked. Summoning Neff ’s wisdom, I tried to look at this error as a “wake-up call” to remind myself not to take on too much. And, as Neff advised, I talked to myself from the perspective of a caring, problemsolving friend: Everybody has scheduling screw-ups. Build in more reminders next time. Let. It. Go. Could I actually embrace the mistake? That seemed like a stretch, but for once, a singular oversight didn’t feel like a black mark on my soul. I fixed what I could and stopped obsessing about the rest. No excoriation necessary. Bonnie Tsui writes frequently for The New York Times and The Atlantic; her next book is a collection of essays on swimming.

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Feeling Good

IN THE FREEZER AISLE:

Bean burrito Veggie pizza C. Chicken potpie

A. B.

Cooked black and pinto beans are nutritional powerhouses— one cup can provide more than half your suggested daily intake of fiber and one-third the protein. And because fiber and protein slow digestion, beans provide sustained energy and satiety. That trumps any minor health benefits you’ll get from the peas and tiny carrots you might find in your potpie or the spinach on your sodiumladen pizza.

THE O QUIZ

Hunger Games Research shows that the average person makes more than 200 food decisions a day—white or wheat? coffee or tea? salad or fries?—yet the most wholesome options aren’t always obvious. To test your nutrition IQ, pick the food you think is the healthiest in each of the groups below. FROM THE VENDING MACHINE:

Popcorn B. Honey-roasted peanuts C. Gummy fruit snacks A.

AT THE SALAD BAR:

Hard-boiled egg B. Sunflower seeds C. Olives A.

Peanuts offer the most nutritional bang per bite. “They may be higher in calories, but they’re also packed with protein, minerals, fiber, and healthy mono- and polyunsaturated fats,” says Susan Kleiner, PhD, a registered dietitian and author of Power Eating. Popcorn is high in fiber but contains little protein. And the fruit snacks? “Nobody should pretend that’s real fruit,” says Kleiner. “It’s candy.”

A handful of sunflower seeds provides a healthy dose of vitamin E, but the egg is the better bet. “We can get E from many sources,” says Kleiner. “But egg yolks are the richest source of the nutrient choline, and animal studies suggest it plays a role in improving memory.” One large egg contains nearly 30 percent of a woman’s daily recommended intake of choline. As for the briny olives, the high sodium content is their tragic flaw: You can consume 20 percent of your daily limit with just seven olives.

ANSWER: B

ANSWER: A

76 OPRAH.COM

JANUARY 2014

AT A COCKTAIL PARTY:

Broccoli and dip Goat cheese and crackers C. Shrimp cocktail A. B.

“The shrimp platter is where you’ll find me at any party,” says Kleiner, who’s a fan of the crustacean’s high B12 content (five large shrimp provide 19 percent of your recommended dietary allowance). Broccoli’s benefits are all but negated by the fat-laden mystery dip at most parties. And while goat cheese may have fewer calories than other popular varieties, one ounce contains six grams of saturated fat—roughly one-third your daily limit. That makes it a snack worth skipping. ANSWER: C

ANSWER: A

AT THE SNACK BAR:

Fruit Danish Bagel with cream cheese C. Croissant A. B.

You won’t find many nutrients in anything made of refined white flour and butter, but, surprisingly, the croissant is the lesser evil. “Picking baked goods is really a matter of damage control,” says Keri Gans, registered dietitian and author of The Small Change Diet. A large fruit Danish can pack as much sugar as three glazed doughnuts, while the bagel with cream cheese can clock in at 400 calories or more. At roughly 250 calories, the buttery croissant is more a nutritional fender bender than a train wreck. ANSWER: C

—kate rockwood

WEEKDAYS

GET READY FOR ANOTHER

NEWS YEAR Exclusive interviews. Trending stories. Dr. Phil is committed to making the coming year even bigger than the last. Because when the story affects you, he gets it. And when the story affects everyone, there’s a good chance he gets it…first. www.drphil.com | www.facebook.com/drphilshow | twitter.com/drphil | check local listings © 20 01 14 1 4 Pe Petes teski tes ki Pro Produc ductio duc t ns, In tio Inc. nc. All ll ri right ghtss rese ght erve rv d. d

“ A Remarkable

Novel

That Heightened My Sense of What It Meant to Be

“

a Woman—Slave or Free.

Oprah’s new book club selection—a tour de force by Secret Life of Bees author SUE MONK KIDD— will resonate with anyone who has ever struggled to find her power and her voice.

HERE’S WHAT MAKES The Invention of Wings extraordinary—and why I am thrilled to announce it as my third selection for Oprah’s Book Club 2.0: Sue Monk Kidd has written a conversation changer. It is impossible to read this book and not come away thinking differently about our status as women and about all the unsung heroines who played a role in getting us to where we are. The novel tells the story of four women from Charleston, South Carolina—two sisters from the prosperous white Grimké family and an African American mother and daughter who are the Grimkés’ house slaves. All four share an ardent desire to break free: Sarah and Angelina Grimké from the constraints of being female in the early 19th century, and Hetty and her mother, Charlotte, from the bonds of slavery.

Though the tale is fictional, the Grimké sisters were real-life abolitionists whose stories captivated Kidd. Also drawn from real life is Hetty, nicknamed Handful. Her character sealed the deal for me. She profoundly deepened my understanding of what it was to be an urban slave and of what striving for freedom and dignity feels like on the inside. Kidd was drawn to tell Hetty’s story because she is a seeker herself, on a mission to deeply engage with the world. She grew up in a time when women were pressured to follow a traditional path, and in many ways she did: marrying, becoming a nurse, having two children. But she was also acutely aware of the women’s movement and the struggle for civil rights, which not only helped shape her inner voice but at

Photograph by M I C H A E L 80 OPRAH.COM

JANUARY 2014

E DWA R D S

Oprah and Kidd (and Oprah’s dog Sadie claiming the chair) in Oprah’s Chicago office.

jjoin the club! To read an excerpt from The Invention of Wings—including Oprah’s O personal notes—download the O iPad app from the iTunes store.

some point started telling her that writing was what she was born to do. At age 30, Kidd sat her husband down and announced her intention: to become a writer. To achieve that goal, she tapped “a reservoir inside myself—my own little ordinary genius that is the source of creative life. I think we all have one.” For more than 20 years, Kidd published mainly nonfiction books and articles; she didn’t finish her first novel, the wildly successful The Secret Life of Bees, until she was 53, 12 years ago. I couldn’t wait to tell her how glad I am that she found her calling and what an impact her new book had on me.

OPRAH: You know how much I love good writing—what a wonderful story you’ve told with The Invention of Wings. What was it about the Grimkés that so inspired you? SUE MONK KIDD: I’m always captivated by stories of women who find a way to be daring— misbehaving women. The Grimkés slammed me in the heart. I felt like their story was mine to tell. OW: How did you come across them? SMK: In 2007, I went to see Judy Chicago’s exhibition The Dinner Party at the Brooklyn Museum. There was a wall of women—a list of 999 who had made significant contributions to history, and lo and behold there were these two sisters from Charleston, the Grimkés. I was living in Charleston then, and I’d never heard of them, but after reading about them at the exhibit, I thought, They should be as well known as Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony. OW: That’s interesting—I’d never heard of 82 OPRAH.COM

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of slavery or with the bias in our gender relations, and that’s why the topics are still relevant. OW: Were there challenges in writing a historical novel? SMK: I had to do an enormous amount of research, because I wanted to get it right. I spent a year reading—slave narratives; people writing about slavery, about abolition; 19th-century history. I had quotes on the walls of my stairway leading up to my study, and every day I would read the quotes before I started writing. OW: They were written on your wall? I want to do that! SMK: The first one was, “A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction”—of course that’s Virginia Woolf. The second one was by Cynthia Ozick, who called writing “an act of courage.” That’s always been true for me. I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t yearn to be a writer. OW: You started your professional life as a nurse—which is also such an honorable calling. SMK: I was a very good nurse, but I burned out after eight years or so, because it wasn’t what I truly wanted to do. Writing is what I belong to. OW: What you belong to—I love that! Both the Grimké sisters and Handful are looking to be free, but in different ways. Is that where the title of the book comes from? SMK: I was interested in how my characters could invent their own freedom, their own voices in the world—their wings. OW: I came away from the book with so many layers of empathy, gratitude, and understanding of the path that had been paved for me, as an African American woman, daughter of a maid, great-greatgranddaughter of a slave, and as a woman in the culture of America. Both The Invention of Wings and The Secret Life of Bees are explorations of racial relations. What inspires your interest in that topic? SMK: It’s right at the bottom of my heart—it’s my history, too. I was a little girl in the ’50s, living in a small town in Georgia. I can feel the voices of all those who yearned to be heard, to leave their marks, to say, “I existed.” OW: We’ve done some healing since then, but we have more to do. The Invention of Wings is an open door, an invitation to see ourselves and our history in a way that allows us to heal even more. Thank you.

O P E N I N G S P R E A D, S T Y L I S T: K E L LY H U R L I M A N . O P R A H , H A I R : A N D R E W WA L K E R . M A K E U P : D E R R I C K R U T L E D G E . K I D D, H A I R A N D M A K E U P : C A N D A C E C O R E Y F O R Z E N O B I A U S I N G L A M E R . T H I S PA G E : C O U R T E S Y O F S U E M O N K K I D D.

Kidd in 1980 with son Bob and daughter Ann.

them, either. Were you in search of a subject for your next book at the time? SMK: I don’t go in search of ideas; I try to let them find me. So I wasn’t particularly looking for a novel to write, but my antennae are always up. And the more I read about the Grimkés, the more they awed me. They were early abolitionists and women’s rights activists who sacrificed so much for their causes—relationships with family, their standing in society. OW: And Hetty—Handful? SMK: I knew from reading about Sarah Grimké that she’d been given a handmaid to be her personal slave and that her name was Hetty. The only other fact I knew about her was that Sarah taught her to read: They conspired in a very subversive way, by locking the door and screening the keyhole. OW: Because it was illegal for slaves to know how to read… SMK: Yes. OW: What gets me throughout the novel is that in such an imaginative and forceful way you enable us to see the state of women’s rights— that not so long ago, women were just pieces of property. Looking out at an audience of Barnard College students during a talk I gave there in 2012 with Gloria Steinem, I thought, It’s just amazing how far we have come. SMK: Yes, and of course, it was so much worse for slave women—but even for American white women, it was an atrocious time that we don’t fully appreciate. OW: You make a distinction, with Handful, between urban slavery and the world of American slavery that readers are more familiar with. What were you trying to convey in making this distinction? SMK: Readers think they’re already familiar with the narrative of cotton picking, slave cabins, and the master. I thought it was important to say we’re talking about something different here. OW: It’s very recognizable to me—my mother was a maid, her mother was a maid, her mother was a maid, and her mother was a slave. You see with the Grimké sisters that for a time they are very close to the domestic workers in the household—like in The Help. Those servants are considered members of the family—but as the maids would say, yes, we’re members of the family, but we still have to go in through the back door. Even today some of those maids are treated like urban slaves. SMK: We are not finished with the legacy

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 27TH 10|9c

Reading Room

Coming Home A former child soldier explores the world he left behind.

A first work of nonfiction by an acclaimed novelist finds the delicate balance between sidesplitting and heartbreaking. “SURVIVAL,” writes Absurdistan novelist Gary Shteyngart in his new memoir, Little Failure (Random House), requires “replacing the love of the beautiful with the love of what is funny, humor being the last resort of the besieged Jew.” In this richly anecdotal memoir of his family’s move from the Soviet Union to Queens, New York, in 1979, and their subsequent (mis-)adventures, Shteyngart makes ample use of his gifts as a humorist. Young Gary, whose name was changed from the Russian Igor at a family council—“Igor is Frankenstein’s assistant, and I have enough problems already”—puzzles over his grandma’s antiquated television set, which “catches either picture or sound”; yearns in vain at McDonald’s for the “sixty-nine-cent hamburger” while his parents and their friends unabashedly spread out their “ethnic meal” of soft-boiled eggs and beet salad; and shares his parents’ wild excitement over Publishers Clearing House’s promise of millions. But the comedy is bittersweet: Beneath the surface flow the dark undercurrents of a legacy of Nazi invasions, of displacement, of Russia’s brutal past. Shteyngart adroitly juxtaposes chilling recollections of a terrifying folk remedy for his childhood asthma and a painful circumcision at age 8 with hilarious riffs on losing his Russian accent and the time his father accidentally took him to see the X-rated movie Emmanuelle, thinking that because it was French, “it must be very cultured.” Still, long after the laughter fades, there lingers the image of a lonely, sickly child who learns to write to express a message “both desperate and common”: “Please love me.” —olga grushin 86 OPRAH.COM

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I L LU S T R AT I O N S BY R A C H E L L S U M P T E R

FROM RUSSIA WITH QUALMS

THE AMERICAN DREAM was born of Europeans immigrating to a new home, one free from oppression and ripe with opportunity. The characters in Ishmael Beah’s affecting debut novel, Radiance of Tomorrow (Sarah Crichton Books), also dream of a home—though for them the dream means reclaiming Imperi, Sierra Leone, the tiny village that sustained them for generations, now in the grip of inexorable change. And therein lies the conflict that will make you care about what happens to them. Imperi is a dusty West African outpost much like the ones the author wrote about in his bestselling book, A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier. There, war’s survivors regroup to rebuild and resuscitate their families, their homes, their futures. Among the appealing characters who populate the tale, which reads like an allegory of the fits and starts of “progress,” is Bockarie, a teacher who, with his wife, Kula, has managed to keep his family alive despite occasional separations and stays in refugee camps. There’s also Bockarie’s friend Benjamin, who abandons teaching to work for the new mining company that is simultaneously reviving and ruining Imperi and posing a moral dilemma for those who yearn to re-create the past but must accept change in order to survive. There are people who give in to corruption without resistance, and others who hold out for as long as they can. A school principal named Mr. Fofanah belongs in the first category. He funnels the government money he receives into extravagant purchases, while students go without textbooks and teachers get paid only a small portion of the wages they’re entitled to. He explains his actions by observing: “Where a cow is tied is where it grazes.” But there is hope for the next generation, as the children and grandchildren of the elders “find a way to repair their broken hearts by relighting the fire that is now dull within them,” as “old wisdom and new wisdom merge, and find room in the young.” —mitchell s. jackson

It’s a Mad, Mad World The backstory on sweating the small stuff.

BY SOME ESTIMATES, more than 25 percent of Americans can expect to suffer from clinically diagnosed anxiety, which is why My Age of Anxiety: Fear, Hope, Dread, and the Search for Peace of Mind (Knopf ), Scott Stossel’s erudite, heartfelt, and occasionally darkly funny meld of memoir, cultural history, and science, feels excruciatingly relevant. Stossel aims to better understand his own stressed-out state of mind while also tracing the condition’s history from Hippocrates (who saw it primarily as medical in nature) to Freud (who viewed it as psychological, with its roots in sexual inhibition) to modern times. Whether in its most severe form, as in the author’s crippling version that is “woven into my soul and hardwired into my body and…makes my life a misery,” or in the less debilitating manifestation many of us have known from time to time, anxiety is now an omnipresent, extensively medicated syndrome that may be a result of a brain malfunction or a product of our environment—no one

knows for sure. But Stossel’s harrowing account of his own experience with phobias—among them claustrophobia, acrophobia (fear of heights), asthenophobia (fear of fainting), bacillophobia (fear of germs), and aerophobia (fear of flying)—strongly suggests that this is a disease without a cure. Stossel, the editor of The Atlantic, is a wry, if distressed, chronicler of his own history and that of psychopharmacology. It’s been a long and in many ways frightening journey for him. Still, near the end of the book, in a chapter titled “Redemption,” Stossel attempts to see the upside of anxiety—the links between it and creativity, productivity, morality. His therapist advises him to give himself more credit for being resilient, and it seems he does. He concludes with the hope that “admitting my shame and fear to the world” will ultimately be “empowering and anxiety reducing.” We hope so, too. —amy bloom

A NEW LIGHT A journalist ventures into the heart of blindness. PERCEIVED throughout history as ominous soothsayers, helpless idiots, or louche vagrants and beggars, blind people, as Rosemary Mahoney dryly notes in her sparkling exploration, For the Benefit of Those Who See: Dispatches from the World of the Blind (Little, Brown), “have not come off very well.” Mahoney, a gifted writer whose previous work includes the highly praised Down the Nile: Alone in a Fisherman’s Skiff, sets out to turn the tables on these stereotypes, and the lack of understanding that prompts them in the first place, using herself as case in point. She finds, for example, that the blind students she encounters often form more detailed and accurate impressions of her than she does of them. The sighted base their assessments of people largely

on appearance, according to Sabriye Tenberken, the remarkable woman who first brought literacy to the blind in Tibet and is one of the subjects of the book. The sighted can be distracted by beauty, or its absence, Tenberken says, whereas the blind “have to focus on the personality, which is the real essence of the person. It can be an advantage for us.” Before meeting Tenberken, Mahoney had spent time with only one blind person and was convinced that she’d prefer death to losing her sight. However, by the end of her journey, which takes her from Tibet to Liberia and through the history of blindness, she begins to experience the world in all its “beautiful darkness”: the lowing of cows, the rattling of the wind in palm fronds, cool lake water against her skin.

“Sight is a slick and overbearing autocrat,” Mahoney concludes, “trumpeting its prodigal knowledge and perceptions so forcefully that it drowns out the other, subtler senses.” When you finish the book, walk outside and close your eyes. You just might meet the world again, startling, mysterious, new. —lynn darling

Reading Room

Future Shock A provocative fictional portrait of a ravaged America. CHANG-RAE LEE’S novels are renowned for their grace and restraint, their careful dissections of their characters’ inner lives, but he boldly steps outside his comfort zone in the haunting On Such a Full Sea (Riverhead), a dystopian tale that recalls the work of Cormac McCarthy and Kazuo Ishiguro. Here Lee weaves multiple plots into an ambitious epic showcasing a fearless fish-tank-diver heroine as she treks across a devastated landscape. Set in the distant future, On Such a Full Sea chronicles the odyssey of Fan, a descendent of Chinese immigrants living in the B-Mor (formerly Baltimore), an agricultural hub that funnels customized vegetables and tank-raised fish to the Charter villages, gated communities where plutocrats cruelly dictate the fates of serfs. Interspersed among the villages and B-Mor are the counties, lawless regions where en-

slavement and murder are the norm. After her boyfriend, Reg, vanishes, the pregnant Fan strikes out on her own, risking physical assaults and reversals of fortune to search for him. The novel gets its strong heartbeat from the allies she finds along the way: a drugtrafficking doctor turned veterinarian; a housekeeper with a dark secret; an emergency-room physician starved for affection. Lee audaciously employs a firstperson plural narration, a “we” composed of Fan’s neighbors from B-Mor, who comment on her story like a Greek chorus: “There was not a molecule of wrongness about her. Which may be why Fan captured our imagination.” Lee’s novel depicts a futuristic America that unnervingly resembles our own. SUVs cruise potholed highways; the rich pamper

themselves in gleaming gymnasiums; medical care is auctioned off to the highest bidder. Ultimately Fan reunites not with Reg but with a long-lost brother, a joyous occasion soon tainted by a personal betrayal. With its appealing protagonist as narrative glue, On Such a Full Sea layers stories within stories, building to its final, resonant catharsis. —hamilton cain

A MOMENT IN TIME This tenderly intricate second novel cements its author’s status as a rising star. RACHEL JOYCE BURST ONTO the literary scene in 2012 with her fiction debut, The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry, which went on to become an international best-seller. She triumphantly returns with Perfect (Random House), a novel that plunges the reader into a dizzyingly off-kilter world where “time was out of joint with the movement of the Earth,” mirroring the chaos in the young protagonist’s mind. Eleven-year-old Byron Hemmings is a nervous boy; his imagination runs wild when his best friend, James, casually mentions that the British government is adding two seconds to the clock to offset the 1972 leap year. “Two seconds are huge,” Byron says to his mother, Diana. “It’s the difference between something 88 OPRAH.COM

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happening and something not happening.” His prediction appears prescient: On a foggy morning when they’re en route to school, an accident occurs, and the family’s previously peaceful life is smashed into a million pieces. In an alternating narrative is Jim’s saga. Jim is a middle-aged loner with a stutter and painful memories of electroshock treatment whose OCD prompts him to perform rituals that act as a kind of salve. The mystery at the heart of his tale: Who is he? As Joyce probes the souls of Diana, Byron, and Jim, she reveals—slowly and deliberately, as if peeling back a delicate onion skin—the connection between the two stories, creating a poignant, searching tale. —abbe wright

HIGHER GROUND A compendium of quotations that illuminate a shared humanity. By Nikki Giovanni

TEN TITLES That Will Broaden Your Point of View

Report from the Interior

Andrew’s Brain

By Paul Auster

By E.L. Doctorow

Intimate, even claustrophobic, this journey into the author’s memory banks reads like a primal scream, an attempt to relive his youth and evolution.

The author of Ragtime and The Book of Daniel trades the sweep of history for a microscopic look into his protagonist’s troubled mind.

The Accidental Universe: The World You Thought You Knew

If Only You People Could Follow Directions

By Alan Lightman

By Jessica Hendry Nelson

The theoretical physicist and author of Einstein’s Dreams offers a soulful contemplation of science, the cosmos, and why we must sometimes “believe in what we cannot prove.”

A quirkily mesmerizing debut memoir about a dysfunctional family wracked by alcoholism and drug addiction. Bittersweet and wryly funny.

This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage By Ann Patchett

In this heartfelt collection of autobiographical essays, the novelist opens up about love, friendship, and family, exhibiting the compassionate voice that is a hallmark of her fiction. Boy in the Twilight: Stories of the Hidden China By Yu Hua

A Chinese writer noted for his “popular realism” sketches a portrait of his country through fictional vignettes of everyday life. Cairo: Memoir of a City Transformed

All Russians Love Birch Trees By Olga Grjasnowa Masha, an Azerbaijani-born student living in Germany, flees to Israel after her boyfriend’s death, in this provocative first novel. The Time Regulation Institute By Ahmet Hamdi Tanpinar

Translated into English for the first time by a major U.S. publisher, this 1954 absurdist Turkish classic probes the collision of tradition and modernity through the story of a man who helps create an organization charged with changing all the country’s clocks to Western time.

By Ahdaf Soueif

Soy Sauce for Beginners

This firsthand account of the revolution that ousted President Hosni Mubarak offers a window onto the uprising, and contrasts Egypt’s current strife with the author’s peaceful childhood.

By Kirstin Chen

Despite swearing never to join the family trade, Gretchen leaves the U.S. to return to her native Singapore and help out in her dad’s soy sauce business. —a.w.

WORDS TELL US WHO WE ARE. They teach us our values. They remind us where we’ve come from and help create a path for the next generation. Words hold such power that some states outlawed the teaching of reading and writing to enslaved African Americans; for abolitionist and former slave Frederick Douglass, teaching himself to read was a subversive act that altered the course of his life: “[Reading] was a new and special revelation, explaining dark and mysterious things…” he wrote. “From that moment, I understood the pathway from slavery to freedom.” You won’t find Douglass’s words in the original 1855 edition of Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations. Later versions made some effort at racial inclusivity, but for more than 100 years, African American voices were sorely underrepresented in the popular volume. Bartlett’s Familiar Black Quotations (Little, Brown) makes up for that. Edited by Retha Powers, with an incisive foreword by Henry Louis Gates Jr., it draws on nearly 5,000 years of richly diverse culture to create a profoundly moving account of the black experience. The poems, speech excerpts, lyrics, letters, slave narratives, and aphorisms establish a new canon; you could call it a history lesson. From Exodus to Stevie Wonder, from soul-cleansing blues to soul-stirring spirituals, this book bears the light of our journey and deserves a spot on everyone’s bookshelf. Hold it close. Open it so often that the pages start to mold to your fingers. Nikki Giovanni’s latest book is Chasing Utopia (William Morrow), a mix of poetry and memoir.

What comes in on time and under budget? A car insurance quote from GEICO. Don’t you wish your renovation was like that? See how quick it is to save money.

geico.com | 1-800-947-AUTO (2886) | Local Office

Some discounts, coverages, payment plans and features are not available in all states or all GEICO companies. GEICO is a registered service mark of Government Employees Insurance Company, Washington, D.C. 20076; a Berkshire Hathaway Inc. subsidiary. GEICO Gecko image © 1999-2013. © 2013 GEICO.

P R O P S T Y L I S T : M O L LY F I T Z S I M O N S F O R B I G L E O

Color us excited for the New Year! It’s the perfect time to spruce up, trick out, and transform your life, one brilliantly simple upgrade at a time (page 96).… Where are our past makeover subjects now—and how do they look? We reconnect to see if they’re still stepping out in O style (page 110).… And if you’re ready to trade in your old eating habits for a happier, healthier you, we’re ready to show you a remarkable—and real—way to remake your diet (page 118).… PHOTOGRAPH BY PETER ROSA. LETTERING BY JULIA ROTHMAN.

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Here’s the greatest thing about the precious time we spend on earth:

WE HAVE THE POWER TO TURN IT INTO SOMETHING FANTASTIC , ONE BRILLIANT TWEAK AT A TIME .

Hear from a few women who’ve overhauled everything from their Twitter profile to their temper. Then discover surprising ways to make a few things over, under, and just generally better. Go ahead, make your day… Photographs by

Lettering and Illustrations by

PETER ROSA

JULIA ROTHMAN

Small suggestions for big improvements.

 Lately I’ve been plagued by a phenomenon particular to the Internet age—I call it “about me” anxiety. At a dinner party, I’ll chat easily about work, hobbies, or parenting fails, but when confronted with one of those bio slots on Twitter or Pinterest, I panic. How am I supposed to sum up my essence in 160 characters?, I think—which is odd, since presenting a capsule version of ourselves is something we do every day. “Coworkers know a different you than your friends do,” says Jessica Vitak, PhD, assistant professor at the University of Maryland’s College of Information Studies. Vitak, who studies what she calls impression management strategies, advises thinking of a brief bio or profile as a way to start a conversation. Meg Biram, who helps bloggers and businesses create online identities, says that “your bio is just your first impression,” not a summary of your whole self. Her formula for an “about me” is simple: Reveal your job, then toss in a personal throwaway about loving bacon or jazz. (“It shows you’re human,” she says.) And remember that online bios are malleable; both Biram and Vitak regularly tinker with theirs. On Twitter, I’m a “freelance journalist, chronic mover, road-trip lover, Parks and Rec watcher, library patron, candy addict, county fair attendee.” But by the time you read this, I may be someone else entirely. —melody warnick

Your Daily Commute 1 2 3 4 Turn your car into a rolling spa (well, sort of) with a seat massager (models start at about $40 at Sharper Image, and many serve up both heat and vibrations), an air freshener in a calm-inducing scent like lavender or chamomile, and a nice hot mug of soothing herbal tea. Enya CD optional.

Instead of passively listening to audiobooks, learn a language. At the iTunes store, you’ll find free podcasts on mastering Italian, Spanish, French, German, Arabic, Mandarin, Russian, and many more. Next step? Plan a trip to hone your new vocab (and escape your commute for a few days).

Your Cooking, One Cool Trick at a Time

Get real-time traffic updates without resorting to your local wacky radio show. Waze, a community-based traffic and navigation app, lets fellow travelers alert one another to speed traps, accidents, and shortcuts. (It speaks aloud, too, so you can use it safely behind the wheel.)

Set up a playlist swap with friends on the free musicstreaming site Spotify. Every week, have each person in your group send songs to one other group member, swapping until each person has received everyone else’s playlists. Then start the process all over again with a new group of lists. —emma haak

Peel an entire head of garlic in less than 30 seconds: First, loosen the cloves by pressing the heel of your hand into the top of the bulb until you feel it give. Place the cloves in a metal bowl, cover with another bowl (forming a sphere), and shake vigorously to separate the skin from the cloves. Cook spaghetti in a frying pan under an inch or so of cold water. The cold water will keep the pasta from sticking. The pasta will absorb most of the water, and the remaining starchy liquid makes the base of a tasty pan sauce. (Butter, Parmesan, and a pinch of fresh basil will do nicely.) Chill wine and beer in ten minutes or less. Stir salt into an ice bath, then submerge the bottles until chilled. Liquids conduct heat better than air, and the salt lowers the water’s freezing temperature. (Make sure to rinse your beer before opening, unless you want to lick salt off the bottle.) —laura birek

Your Approach to Stress When you’re feeling frazzled, adopt an attitude of acceptance, suggests meditation expert and psychotherapist Tara Brach: “Notice what’s going on inside you, and mentally whisper yes to the experience: yes to the anxiety, yes to the tension, yes to the irritation. With each yes, you give space for the experience to unfold.” Letting your feelings progress to their logical conclusion helps them dissolve. —ashley williams

YOUR HOME VIDEOS Your baby’s first steps. Your daughter’s home run. The dramatic lightning storm on the horizon. Life is full of moments just begging to be caught on video—but, unfortunately, life doesn’t come with a pause button. Luckily, there’s Precorder, an app that continuously records the previous ten seconds, so you can hit the button just after the big moment and rest assured you’ve still captured it forever. —l.b.

P R O P S T Y L I S T : M O L LY F I T Z S I M O N S F O R B I G L E O. S T Y L I S T : R O B I N PA G E . H A I R : M I TC H B A R RY F O R B RYA N B A N T RY A G E N C Y. M A K E U P : S U S A N M C C A RT H Y U S I N G S E P H O R A C O L L E C T I O N C O L O R F U L AT R AY B R O W N P R O.C O M . M A N I C U R I S T: D I D A U S I N G S E P H O R A’S F O R M U L A X S H I N E AT R AY B R O W N P R O.C O M .

Your Online Persona

T O P, B C B G . P R E V I O U S S P R E A D : T O P, C A LV I N K L E I N . S K I R T, K AT E S PA D E . S H O E S , C O L E H A A N .

Your Home (forAlmost Nothing)

> THE LIVING ROOM: Try painting a piece of furniture in a bright color, suggests Atlanta-based interior designer Suzanne Kasler, author of Suzanne Kasler: Timeless Style. (She once lacquered a desk orange.) If you’ve got a mirror, hang it opposite a window. “Mirrors reflect light and make a space feel larger,” Kasler says. “So when you place one across from a source of natural light, it adds even more impact—and sparkle.” Finally, if you want to make the room

look blessed with high ceilings, just reposition your curtain rods. “Hang them flush with the ceiling,” Kasler says. “You’ll cover that blank wall space above the window and create a tall, beautiful vertical line.” > THE KITCHEN: Your countertop has probably become a catchall for mail, rubber bands, and that rice cooker you use twice a year; start by clearing it off, save for the appliances you need every day. Now

you have space to create a focal point. Kasler favors a cluster of three objects: “I love a cake plate, a vase of flowers, and a glass bowl,” she says. Whatever you choose, the number is what’s important. “Odd-numbered groupings look more appealing,” Kasler says. > THE BEDROOM: Use empty frames to display a gallery of memorabilia. “I call it the random collection,” says Kasler. “In my daughter’s apartment, we framed and

hung pieces of art she bought on the streets of New York, old postcards, and a gorgeous vintage map. And in my own home, I framed invitations from Paris fashion shows I attended and hung them up.” Aim for a mix of pieces; you can also include prints or photographs. “When something is totally unique to your taste,” says Kasler, “it makes you so much happier than an impersonal work of art ever could—and it’s a lot less expensive to put together.” —e.h. JANUARY 2014

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expression Pardon the

For years, Katie Arnold-Ratliff hid behind her chilly façade. Now she’s facing up to what really clouded her features (and even offering the world a smile or two). “SHE LOOKS AT YOU AS IF you were so much thin air,” Henry James wrote in The American, and though we missed each other by 135 years or so, he might have been referring to me. I have the kind of face that in unguarded moments slumps like a fallen soufflé, if fallen soufflés were things people described as sullen, caustic, and mean. When I was 6, my parents called me the Ice Queen. When I was 17, a coworker confessed that he was afraid of me. (He was 34.) When I was 30, my boss warned that in meetings, I looked as though I’d “rather be anywhere else, like it’s all a waste of your time.” And every year in between, people have asked again and again, “What’s wrong?” I’m not the only one getting flak for her face. Michelle Obama’s default glower drew ire during the 2008 election. Celebritygossip connoisseurs malign Kristen Stewart’s sour glare as often as they mock her films. And let’s not forget Grumpy Cat. All of us suffer from a condition the Internet calls bitchy resting face. If we’re not midgrin or concentrating with laser focus on the task of looking happy, we appear to be bumming hard or quietly judging you. Some people in my position have resorted to a grin lift, a surgical procedure that outfits patients with indelible smiles; others turn frowns upside down with injections of botulinum toxin. While I could make a more conscious effort to smile (imbeciles on the street have told me “it costs nothing!”), I fear that contorting my mug into perma-pertness would leave little energy for anything else. Still, it would be nice not to look like a 100 OPRAH.COM

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human KEEP OUT! sign. The design of my face isn’t much help here. It’s a pale disc on which my cheeks hang like drapes too heavy for their rod; I have thin lips, which—and this is key—turn down, halibut-like, when not roused into a smile; my bright blue eyes, my best facial feature, have led some to call my gaze intense (read: unnerving); and the whole shebang is tied up with the blunt button chin you see on a pouting child. Childhood may actually be when the rest of my grim visage, the part within my control, was born. I grew up an awkward tomboy, thin-skinned as a tulip. I crumpled at the slightest slight, felt an urge to sob when corrected in class. I longed to be loved but assiduously avoided conversation; adult-me can see why that strategy wouldn’t work so well, but child-me couldn’t. Instead I nursed a bilious fear that I was unlovable. So I deployed the classic foot-shooting gambit for control: I failed on my own terms. I threw the game to avoid losing. I yearned to be liked, so I wore a look that told everybody I couldn’t care less whether they liked me. I made a mask of my face and hid behind it. I’ll let you in on a secret: It feels good to wear a look no one can read. It feels good, as a woman, to try on the “I concede nothing” posture men are allowed to assume—to eschew the deferential aura of femininity, to show people how little effect they have. But I’m not a scared kid anymore, afraid to go unloved. People do love me, and I love them, and I don’t want them to look at me and see boredom, condemnation, pain. I want my face to broadcast the feelings I really feel.

So one afternoon, I pull out my wildly fancy camera: an Olympus Pen E-P5, a contraption miraculous in its ability to beautify, with its floodlight flash and dewy soft focus. But I’ve disabled those features. I’m on a fact-finding mission: I’m facing my face. Alone in the house, I inhale a glass of Pinot Noir, re-up my makeup, and position the lens squarely in front of me. I press the button, then press it again and again and again. In many of the photos I see what everyone has described: the cloak of disdain, the squint of judgment, the caustic glare. But when I look past the mask and into my eyes, I see how curiously they scan the world. I see evidence of the other, kinder things people have said to me: “You are so no bullshit,” and “What you did was brave,” and “You can be quite disarming.” Then I arrive at two sequential photos in which I’m lying on my back, looking up into the camera. These shots were accidents. I’d been aiming for frank reportage—but just before the first click, I’d remembered something dumb from TV and burst into laughter (snap), before my smile softened (snap again). In the first image, my nose is wrinkled, my mouth wide with hilarity. But the second shot captures the laugh’s afterglow; a remnant of joy, easy and alive—which is what I felt in that moment. My face will never be a megawatt beacon of delight, but this image proves that it’s capable of telling the world more than I’ve let it. I look, in this photo, like the sun is warming my face, like the loveliest version of me. I look like who I am: someone with nothing to hide.

T R E N C H , D I A N E V O N F U R S T E N B E R G . T O P, D K N Y. PA N T S , V I N C E . B R A C E L E T S , S WA R O V S K I A N D M I R I A M S A L AT. R I N G , S WA R O V S K I . B A G , R A L P H L A U R E N . S H O E S , B C B G .

Our countdown of offbeat ways to save.

GIFT CARDS. Marsha Collier, author of eBay for Dummies, says gift cards can frequently be found on the site for less than they’re worth—at press time, we found a $400 Starbucks card for $320 and a $300 Kay Jewelers card for $235.

SPICES. “I’ve gotten excellent deals on curry powder and saffron,” Collier says; we also came across ras el hanout (a Moroccan spice blend that can be hard to find) and kaffir lime leaves for just $3.

DESIGNER GOODS—IF THE SELLER SPELLS IT WRONG. A search for “Chanel bag” will reveal many cutthroat auctions, while “Channel bag” may turn up less trafficked fare. (Just beware of scams—if it looks too good to be true, move on.)

Ways to Nab Books and Clothes for Less

POWELLS.COM: You can sell your gently used books to the legendary Portland, Oregon, bookseller for credit at its vast online store (or a decent cash payout)—and it’ll pay to ship your old reads to its warehouse.

MARVELOUS MONEY-SAVING RULE TO LAST YOU YOUR WHOLE LIFE LONG

SNOBSWAP.COM: This online consignment boutique lets you buy designer duds at deep discounts or trade something from your own closet instead. The selection has us floored: We recently found Dior sandals for $200, Marc Jacobs sunglasses for $75, and a Diane von Furstenberg wrap dress for $35.

Create a 30-day list. When you want to buy anything nonessential, put it on the list and note the date. Tell yourself you won’t buy it for 30 days— and stick to your guns. You’ll soon find you buy a whole lot less.

D R E S S , D K N Y. J E W E L R Y, S WA R O V S K I . S H O E S , C O L E H A A N .

THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU COULD BUY CHEAPLY ON EBAY:

How to streamline, speed up, and simplify, simplify, simplify.

Your Keystrokes

YOUR GIVING Want to send a personal token of your esteem—but avoid a trip to the post office? Now you can skip the errand and still deliver a heartfelt gift: Delightfully .com lets you select from an array of treats— a custom scarf, lessons with a golf pro, bespoke candy from Chocomize—or send your own gift (anything you can buy online). It takes care of the rest, letting you add an e-card that can be decked out with snapshots or even arranged into an online puzzle for the recipient to solve. Speaking of gifts: The process takes about five minutes.

Here’s the beauty of a keyboard shortcut: When you copy, paste, or perform other functions by pressing keys instead of grabbing your mouse, you can save an average of two seconds per minute, according to the technology and education experts at Brainscape.com. We know that doesn’t seem like much—but according to their calculations, it can add up to a whopping eight workdays per year. That’s an extra vacation. —melia robinson (Note: The shortcuts below are for Macs; if you’re a PC user, you can substitute the control, or “Ctrl,” key for “Cmd” in most cases.)

Save

Cmd

Print +

S

Copy

Cmd

Cmd

Cmd

Select all +

P

Paste +

C

Bold/italicize/underline selected text + B/I/U

Open a new document or window

Cmd

Your Housework

Your Beauty Arsenal

+

N

Cmd

+

V

+

Z

+

Cmd

+

R

Cmd +

Y

Jump from one input field to the next

+/-

Find a word on a page

Close a file, tab, or window

A

Redo last undo

Zoom in/out

Cmd

+

Refresh Web page

Undo last action

Cmd

Cmd

Tab

Select the address bar in a Web browser Mac

A Homejoy cleaning is both easy (schedule it online) and cheap (an hour of scrubbing: just $20), and the company is squeakyclean: Homejoy pays workers more than the industry’s national average. (Available in 31 cities; homejoy.com.)

Cmd

+

W

Cmd

+

F

Cmd

+

L

PC

Alt

D

BONUS! Teach your iPhone to type often-used phrases by programming shortcuts into your text settings; the abbreviation you assign (like “omw” for “On my way!”) will automatically expand into the phrase when you text it. Go to Settings > General > Keyboard and scroll down to Add New Shortcut.

Dear Petroleum Jelly, Beho^rhn'Lhf^i^hie^ \ZeerhnOZl^ebg^4B\Zeerhn fr^o^krmabg`'RhnZk^ lnik^f^erl^kob\^Z[e^' RhnZk^frgb`am\k^Zf' RhnZk^frfZl\ZkZ k^fho^k'RhnZk^fr Zgrmbf^%Zgrpa^k^]^&Zla^k3 Rhnlabg^nifrdg^^lZg] ^e[hplebd^ghhma^k'Rhn Zk^frlah^iheblabgZ ankkrÈpa^g fr_Zohkbm^ [khpg[hhml ehhd]neeZm ma^mh^% Bkn[ rhnhg Zg]Zf k^Z]rmh`h'!L^^ma^k^% rhnÌo^^o^g`hmf^karfbg` ghp'MaZmÌlahprhndghp bmÌleho^'"Bg^o^kdghp pa^gBfb`amg^^]rhn4 BÌfZepZrl]biibg`Z_bg`^k bgmhrhnkcZk3pa^gfr ebil_^^e\aZii^]' Pa^gfraZg]l _^^e]kr'Pa^g cnlmZ[hnm Zgrmabg`_^^el ]kr%k^Zeer'Bd^^ihg^ h_rhnbg^o^krkhhf% bg\en]bg`frinkl^% pab\ag^ZkerjnZeb_b^lZl Zkhhf':g][e^llrhnk a^Zkm%B\Zg[nrrhnbg[ned _khfma^]heeZklmhk^'BlgÌm maZmZepZrlrhnkpZrÈ `bobg`lhfn\afhk^maZg rhnmZd^8RhnklZepZrl% penny wrenn

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T O P, C A LV I N K L E I N

The Sound And

the fury When Catherine Newman was forced to reckon with her dysfunctional arguing style (“You are such an a-hole!”), she decided it was time to start fighting the good fight. OUR 13-YEAR-OLD SON was tinkering with his new iPod. “Hey,” he said. “I just recorded you guys!” And sure enough, from the tiny, tinny speaker, my husband, Michael, and I could hear ourselves. Arguing. About Scrabble. Actually, arguing is a misnomer. It was mostly me ripping the poor guy a new one. And let me say this—if you don’t like the way your voice sounds on an outgoing message, you should hear it when you’re barking about a triple-word score. We were only kind of serious—more fisticuffs than hand grenades—and still it was ugly. “You’re totally trying to screw me,” I heard myself say like a child (an especially foulmouthed one). “No, no,” Michael says pleasantly, and I sigh and say, “I always forget what an a-hole you are when you play this game.” I also make a weird exasperated sound in the back of my throat (it would be spelled khhh). Hearing myself, I did not feel proud. “Yikes!” I said. My son said, “I know, right?” Our neighbors would doubtless get an amiable “No worries!” from me if they crashed a truck through our living room. But at home, a federal case must be made about such trivia as the children’s vitamins (“Why am I the only one who…”), the unbought wrapping paper (“How come you never…”), the haircut unnoticed (“Could you for once…”), and the apologies offered too late or too unconvincingly (“Forget it. Really, just forget it.”). It isn’t that I don’t know this is wrong. I need to compromise more, listen more closely, respect opinions different from mine (sigh); to stop sounding like I’m a contestant in the Shriekingest Harpy competition; to be humbler, extend the benefit of the doubt,

avoid hyperbole; to apologize and forgive. A recent study on married couples and fighting demonstrates just how important these skills are. The researchers had some of the couples write about significant recent fights, reporting objectively on their arguments in a way that made them pay attention to how they communicated. If you view your fight from the perspective of an outsider, the researchers found, your distress over the argument diminishes. Armed with this information, I decide to try my own experiment. When I speak to my husband, I tell myself, I will imagine the sound of my own voice as if I’d have to listen to it later—or as if our daughter’s fourthgrade teacher or my mother or Barack Obama might listen to it later. Because wouldn’t you speak more carefully if you knew someone was listening? And isn’t that strange, given that someone—your actual dearly beloved—is? Perhaps unsurprisingly, I struggle. One day, Michael asks about going to a Red Sox game—a friend got last-minute tickets— and I say, “Tomorrow? The one night that my brother’s family will be here from Switzerland?” He nods. “Maybe I can do both,” he says. The game is at 7; Boston is two hours away. “So what time would dinner work for you?” I ask, and he says, “Four? 3:30?” I explode: “This has been on the calendar for six months!… Are you kidding me?… Dinner at 3:30! No really, that’s a great idea!… I can’t even deal with you right now.” Also I make the khhh sound. Michael cowers, apologizes (“I only asked”). But I’m too mad to listen or learn or do anything

right. I storm out of the room and busy myself with seething. Only when Michael sits tentatively beside me do I replay the fight in my head. I hear my excessive fury, and I am sorry. He is a good partner, just a person who is different from me, one who also really wants to go to the ball game. “I’m sorry you’re going to miss your game,” I say, meaning it, and he says, “I’ll be glad to see your brother. There will be other games.” I smile. “Wrap your arms around me,” I say, and he does. The next time I’m annoyed, I do better. High school friends of Michael’s come into town. “What were you thinking of serving?” I ask, preemptively irritated but doing my darnedest to scrub it from my tone. “Uh, pasta?” Michael says, grimacing. “With some kind of, uh, sauce?” Michael’s haplessness is the trigger here; typically I’d say something like, “Why am I the one who always has to figure this stuff out? They’re your friends. It’s not like I don’t have a billion things to do!” And I’d say that even though what I really want is connection. Were I a set of nesting matryoshka dolls, the tiniest one inside would tell him clear, gentle things like “I just want to feel appreciated.” But the big, bullying outer doll prefers to engage in a sniping tit for tat. And I don’t like the way it sounds, or rather the way it sounds like it would sound, because— hooray!—I catch myself before I speak. “Did you want to ask me if I would please make dinner for your friends?” And Michael smiles back. “Would you please?” he asks. “Happily,” I say. We are unrecorded, but sounding, I hope, better and better.

How to get by with what you’ve got, tackle less-than-ideal situations, and generally just win at life.

Sharpen Your Negotiation Skills BÌ]aZ]^ghn`a'?bklm%fr \Z[e^[beeÌllb`gbg`[hgnl ^qibk^]%pab\akZbl^]fr kZm^[r.)[n\dl'Ma^g\Zf^ Ze^mm^k3=^ZkoZen^] \nlmhf^k%p^pbeeghehg`^k [^h__^kbg`ma^iZ\dZ`^mh pab\arhnln[l\kb[^%lh p^Ìo^ni`kZ]^]rhn !?hk Zghma^k.)[n\dl'"BpZl iZrbg`*-)Zfhgmacnlmmh pZm\aCBS This Morning !Ab%@Zre^"%Top Chef,Zg] Project Runway.LhBmnkg^] mhG^`hmbZm^Bm%ZgZiipbma phk]&_hk&phk]l\kbimlmaZm mZd^ma^Zgqb^mrhnmh_ Zldbg`_hkZ]^Ze4Zeerhn]h blk^Z]Zehn]'=^o^ehi^][r KZfbmL^mab%Znmahkh_I Will Teach You to Be Rich%ma^ Zii\Zga^eirhnehp^k rhnk\k^]bm\Zk]:IK%`^m ho^k]kZ_m_^^lk^o^kl^]%Zg] lZo^hg\ZkbglnkZg\^'Pa^g B\Zee^]fr\Z[e^\hfiZgr% ma^Ziimhe]f^mhZldma^ k^ik^l^gmZmbo^ahpehg`BÌ] [^^gZ\nlmhf^k'ÉCnlmho^k mphr^Zkl%Êa^lZb]4Bdg^p ma^rphne]gÌmpZgmmhehl^ fr[nlbg^ll'BpZlmhe]mh[^ _kZgd3ÉMbf^lZk^mhn`a%Zg] Bcnlm\ZgÌmZ__hk]mhiZrmabl kZm^'ÊPaZma^]b]pZlhpg nimhma^mknma3BpZliZrbg` _hk\aZgg^elB]b]gÌm^o^g dghpBaZ]':pZrp^gm LmZksZg]>g\hk^%ienl%Z_m^k fhk^\Zchebg`!ÉBlma^k^ reallyghmabg`^el^rhn\Zg ]h8Ê"%ma^`he_Zg][hpebg` \aZgg^el'BÌ]leZla^]fr iZrf^gm[rZlZmbl_rbg`/+ Pbmahnmma^Zii%Bfb`am aZo^\eZff^]ni';nml\kbim bgaZg]%BpZlbg\hgmkhe' —abbe wright

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Wear Last Year’s Trends

Embrace Your Mess

O’s own sartorial strategist, Adam Glassman, shares his secrets for keeping a few recent clothing crazes— all of which he recommended in our pages last year—feeling fresh in 2014.

Kaleidoscope Prints Tame the trendiness by updating your piece with a solid: Pick the predominant hue in the print and pair it with a cardigan or a jacket in that color.

The Midi The most flattering skirts fall either just at the knee or one inch below, so simply ask your tailor to chop it.

Green Green was everywhere last year, and metallics make for an easy update. Go for a bronze heel or bag, and if you’re too scared to do it in the daytime, try it for cocktails.

Nautical This trend is going to be big again in the spring, but not in the “I just got off a boat” way. Now it’s more relaxed chic. Get the look by pairing your red, white, and blue pieces with separates or accessories in yellows and greens.

Printed Jeans If your thighs can’t handle the print, just get rid of them. (Please tell me you didn’t spend a lot of money on those.)

We know you keep a tidy home—but into every life a little mess must briefly fall. When it does, take heart: A recent study found that mild untidiness can foster creativity. “Most of the received wisdom on cleanliness states that cleaner environments produce better results,” says Kathleen Vohs, the study’s lead author and a professor at the University of Minnesota’s Carlson School of Management. But in one of her experiments, students were assigned to either an orderly or a disorderly room and asked to generate new ways to use PingPong balls. Those in the messier room had more innovative ideas: to convert the balls into an ice cube tray or a pair of earrings. “When things aren’t structured, people can feel inspired to shake up their thinking,” Vohs says. But there are limits: “Dirty dishes left for days won’t help with a fresh, creative mind-set.” —zoe donaldson

FIX (OR IMPROVE) JUST ABOUT ANYTHING Mahn`ama^kn[[^kr\eZrLn`knfZr^ohd^ma^IeZr&=hah_rhnkrhnmaÈ ma^[kb`am\hehkl%ma^ljnblabg^ll%ma^lmkZg`^er\hfi^eebg`lf^eeÈbml Ziieb\ZmbhglZk^jnbm^`khpg&ni';^\Znl^bmblpZm^kikhh_%\ZgpbmalmZg] ^qmk^f^a^Zm%bl^e^\mkb\ZeerbglneZmbg`%Zg]Z]a^k^lmhfhlmlnk_Z\^l% Ln`kn\Zg_bq_kZr^]\hk]l%a^Zm&ikhh_ihmaZg]e^l%hkk^iZbk[khd^g ]blapZla^kkZ\dl4fhe]bmbgmh[nfi^klmhlaZmm^k&ikhh_ZgbIahg^% \kZ_mpZeefhngml_hkmhhel%hk\nlmhf&_bm^Zk[n]l'Ln`knaZk]^glbg +-ahnkl%lmZkmlZm*)ÈZg]%r^l%bmÌl_ngmhieZrpbma!ln`kn'\hf"' —l.b.

TO P, P R I N C E S S V E R A WA N G . A P R O N , S AV E K H A K I . PA N T S , H E L M U T L A N G . B R A C E L E T, S WA R O V S K I . S H O E S , C O L E H A A N .

Make Dessert Talk about short and sweet: Each of these treats uses only three ingredients, most of which you likely have on hand. —kate rockwood

PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES Peanut butter + sugar + egg Combine 1 cup each peanut butter and white sugar with 1 egg. Stir until smooth. Drop tablespoon-size balls of cookie dough onto a parchment-lined baking sheet. Bake at 350° for 6 to 8 minutes. Makes 1 dozen cookies.

BISCUITS AND JAM Whipping cream + self-rising flour + jam Combine ½ cup heavy whipping cream and 1 cup self-rising flour. Turn dough onto a floured surface and knead lightly. Roll to ¾" thickness and cut with a 2" biscuit cutter. Bake at 425° for 12 to 15 minutes on a lightly greased baking sheet. Top with jam to serve. Makes 6 biscuits.

CHOCOLATE FUDGE Chocolate chips + sweetened condensed milk + butter Heat 2 cups chocolate chips, 1 (14ounce) can sweetened condensed milk, and 2 Tbsp. butter in microwave in 30-second blasts, stirring, until melted and smooth. Pour mixture into a greased 9" square baking pan. Chill until firm. Makes 1 pan.

BANANA BREAD COOKIES Bananas + oats + walnuts Mash 2 large overripe bananas in a bowl. Add 1 cup rolled oats and ¼ cup chopped walnuts. Drop rounded tablespoons of batter onto a baking sheet and bake for 12 to 15 minutes at 350°. Makes 12 cookies.

CUPCAKES Cake mix + soda + whipped cream Combine 1 box any flavor cake mix with 1 can room-temperature soda in any flavor. (We’re partial to chocolate mix and Coca-Cola.) Whisk until smooth. Pour batter into a lined muffin tin. Bake for 18 minutes at 350° until a toothpick emerges clean. Let cool completely, then top with whipped cream. Makes 12 cupcakes.

108 OPRAH.COM TO P, B E LT, PA N T S , C A LV I N K L E I N . B R A C E L E T, PA M E L A L O V E .

reckoning Dead

Even after 20 years, Meg Giles couldn’t let go of the one that got away. Then it finally hit her: Life is far too short for longing. I SIT IN AN SUV ON East Main Street in Scottsdale, Arizona, 11.2 miles from my father, who is in a hospital in Phoenix; 8.2 miles from the cemetery where my mother is buried; 4.2 miles from the home where I grew up, which must be sold to pay my father’s debts; 2,398 miles from my husband, two daughters, job, friends, and home, all in New York City; and two feet from a man I’ve loved for 20 years. We speak about regretting leaving each other long ago. “Why didn’t you ask me to stay?” I say. “I didn’t know it was an option.” He sighs. “Can I have you in the next lifetime?” We are in our 40s. We live in different cities, belong to others, and are parents to, between us, seven kids. It would be impossible—impossible—to change course. Yet somehow I find myself saying, “Fuck the next lifetime. I am going to die someday.” I’m perfectly healthy. According to the actuarial table, I’m unlikely to die for another 40 years. But death has been on my mind, flashing in my periphery. I once looked at a diving board and thought, I wonder if I’ve already done my last front flip. I was 36. I couldn’t stand the idea. So I did one then and have done one every summer since. There will come a day when my aging body will prevent me from doing another. But today isn’t that day. In navigation, dead reckoning is the process of calculating a position relative to a previous point. The exact places where we make our decisions usually go unmarked. But in the signal moments of my life, death has served as my own personal North Star.

One such moment is right now in this SUV. Sitting beside Carlos, I take my bearings: I have a good marriage, not a passionate one. I work for people I admire and adore, but my job is ending. I live in a glamorous city, but long for fewer bills, better sleep, proximity to my father, and space for my kids. In that driver’s seat, I make a choice: I’m not interested in the next lifetime. I will live in this one. I change my return flight, extending my stay in Phoenix another two weeks. I want a chance to explore a love whose loss I have always mourned, a chance to help my father, a chance to pause. I ask myself, If the last stop on my trip is death, what do I want to do, to feel, between now and then? Between this point and death, I want to make love to this man. Between this point and death, I need a marriage full of ardor instead of bonhomie. Between this point and death, I don’t want to be too shy or too safe. Carlos says, “I’ve drawn half my breaths in this life.” We’ve lost 20 years. We don’t want to lose more. I return to New York and quit my job. I leave my husband. I move with my girls to Phoenix. My friend David writes an e-mail: “Carpe diem, yes, fine, sure. But why are we behaving as if we all have six months left to live?” But why behave as if I have 60 years? I try to sell my father’s house, but can’t do it. I want it: the quail, the olive tree, the big eucalyptus, the jackrabbits. I want to watch my girls run down the same hallway I did. I buy the house from my father, move in, and ask Carlos and his kids to move in, too. To others it seems reckless; to us it seems over-

due. My soon-to-be ex-husband thinks I’m not in my right mind. David says that after 15 years, he can no longer bear being my friend. My sister bursts into tears and asks if this isn’t all “a little too soon.” And I wonder if I’ve gone too far. If I will live to regret this. If I’ve broken my husband’s heart, derailed my daughters. I feel alone and adrift and half the time insane. To make this leap, I need a faith that’s almost religious—in my instincts, my desire, this man, and myself. But a friend tells me: “Love expands.” And for that there is plenty of evidence. My life grows emphatically richer. I suddenly have more—people, space, joy. More heartache, for certain. But that’s life, and I have more of that now, too. When I’m not despairing, I see that what I have is extraordinary. Carlos and I wake each morning in the house where I grew up, in the room where my mother drew her last breath. The sun peeks through the glass doors. Jackrabbits nibble the grass. Quail dart along the deck. The olive tree stands sentry. Soon the kids will pile into bed with us. Carlos says, “We have another day.” There will come a morning when I will have done my last front flip, inhaled my children for the last time, made love to Carlos for the last time. There will come a day when one of us isn’t in that bed, when we will have had each and every one of our days. He makes a wedding ring for me from the olive tree my mom planted outside our bedroom. I say hell yes. Death is the ultimate destination, no matter which way I steer. And I want to live days worth dying for. JANUARY 2014

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From left: Purple dress, Rachel Roy, $398. Fuchsia dress, La Petite Robe di Chiara Boni, $815. Blue dress, Hugo Boss, $575. Green dress, David Meister, $450. Yellow dress, Boss by Hugo Boss, $495. Orange dress, Catherine Malandrino, $286. Red dress, CH Carolina Herrera, $615.

O M

O AKE

VER

S:

These seven women were once treated to fantasy makeovers in the pages of O—with stunning results. Then life intervened (a job change, marriage, a baby or two), and a few things fell by the wayside. We wanted to know what was still working and what wasn’t—and to help these beauties get a gorgeous new start. Turn the page to see how hairstylist Ken Paves, makeup artist Andrew Sotomayor, and eyebrow expert Eliza Petrescu showed them ways to hit refresh.… Photographs by SERGIO KURHAJEC

JANINE OKABAYASHI Makeover 2008

MONICA GREENAWALT Makeover 2011

ANGELA SHERRER Makeover 2007

ANGELA BUTLER Makeover 2011

CYNTHIA JOY DIXON Makeover 2010

MARIA RAMOS Makeover 2009

JUDSON ALLARDT Makeover 2008

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2 0 10

CYNTHIA JOY DIXON CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE

In 2010, Cynthia’s coarse salt-andpepper hair was transformed into a sleek, light brown bob with the help of a dye job, a shoulder-grazing cut, and a flatiron. Eyebrow shaping and elegant makeup (including a tomatored lipstick and lots of black mascara) added polish. A flattering all-white top-and-pants ensemble gave her a long-and-lean look.

What worked… “I loved the haircolor and feeling gorgeous. The whole pampering experience was a first for me.”

What didn’ t… “Every time I had my hair dyed it came out a slightly different color. And though the photo in the magazine was beautiful, it didn’t look like me. I want to be able to recognize myself!”

How life intervened… “Keeping up my new look was too hard. So I decided to embrace my natural hair texture and color.”

What sh e needs now… Advice about how to play up her curls and her gray.

And how she got i t… Starting about an inch

The Fashion A cobalt wrap dress flatters Cynthia’s curves, and the knee length gives her the coverage she prefers. A chunky necklace and heels add subdued shine. (Dress, Rickie Freeman for Teri Jon, $450. Necklace, Gerard Yosca. Shoes, Rupert Sanderson.) 112 OPRAH.COM

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2 0 1 0 F R O M T O P : PAT R I K A N D E R S S O N . S A R R A F L E U R A B O U E L H A J .

“I look much h more like myself! And my hair will be easy to maintain, because it blends subtle color with my gray.”

from Cynthia’s roots, Paves painted honey highlights and dark golden lowlights for a warm, textured calico effect. He touched up her natural curls with a ¾-inch-barrel curling iron. Sotomayor emphasized Cynthia’s eyes with black gel liner, a dark bronze eyeshadow all over her lids, and a matte black shadow pressed delicately over that. He kept the rest of her face understated, finishing with a nude, supermoisturizing lip gloss.

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MONICA GREENAWALT NURSE MANAGER

In 2011, we cut Monica’s moussed and gelled mullet into a sophisticated crop and brought her overprocessed hair back to the strawberry-blonde shade she had as a child. Peach blush and neutral lips completed the natural look. A modern teal dress replaced the shoulder-padded Melanie Griffith–in– Working Girl clothes she used to favor.

What worked… “The color, the cut, the style. The makeup looked natural but still enhanced my features.” What d i d n’ t… “My hair is curly, but I like to wear it straight, and I didn’t have time to blow it out every day. So I give myself straightening treatments. I tried having the color replicated, but the salon wound up covering up all the highlights.”

How life i nte rve ne d… “After 13 years, my guy and I got engaged this past summer. I’ve gone back to school, so I’m currently working and a full-time student. And I have two grandchildren!”

What s he ne e d s now… A deeper haircolor to brighten her complexion

2 0 1 1 : PAT R I K A N D E R S S O N

“This makeover refined everything I came in with. And now I have so much good advice on how to maintain my new look.”

The Fashion The lavender shade of Monica’s dress works beautifully with her new, brighter haircolor. (Dress, Lela Rose. Earrings, Sheila Fajl Designs. Bracelets, Jemma Wynne.)

and a cut with more modern proportions.

And how she got i t… Paves gave Monica a richer all-over color and added back the coppery and golden highlights she had lost. He contoured the layers around her neck and jawline. To let Monica’s freckles show, Sotomayor used a sheer, peachy-gold foundation. He created smoky eyes with bronze and copper shadows. Bronze lip gloss enhanced her eye-color palette.

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JANINE OKABAYASHI ACUPUNCTURIST

In 2008, we deepened Janine’s mousy brown hair to chestnut with caramel highlights, then cut off eight inches and added layers that enhanced her natural waves. Soft makeup and ruby lipstick played up her lovely complexion; a sparkly sweater skimmed her curves and showed off her party-readyy hair. What worked… “I started paying attention to my hair and wearing a little makeup.”

What didn’ t… “Eventually I just didn’t have the time to keep up the hairstyle. And I let the color grow out. Now I never wear more than mascara and lip gloss.”

How life i nte rvened…

The Fashion This formfitting dress has built-in shape wear that makes Janine look sleek and feel confident, while the hot-pink shade sets off her porcelain skin. (Dress, Nue by Shani, $320. Necklace, Anton Heunis. Rings, Sheila Fajl Designs. Shoes, Monique Lhuillier.)

What s h e needs now… A wash-and-go hairstyle and a quick and easy makeup routine.

And how she got i t… Paves cut five inches from Janine’s hair but left it long enough for her to pull back. He enriched her natural color with an allover gloss and gold-toned highlights. Sotomayor used a creamy, light foundation that gave Janine a dewy glow. He upgraded her beloved gloss to a candyapple red; for nights out, he defined her eyes with black liner, smudging it a bit and adding a brown shadow for softness.

2 0 0 8 : PAT R I K A N D E R S S O N

“I love my new no-fuss cut, and this lipcolor is a quick way to look dressed up.”

“Right after the makeover, I ran into my old boyfriend. I think he saw that I was making an effort with my appearance, and he liked that. We started dating again, and around two years later we married. Nine months after that, we had our first baby. Our second was born last March.”

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ANGELA BUTLER

COMMUNITY DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR

In 2011, a layered bob gave Angela’s formerly straight dark hair swingy movement; subtle makeup—defined eyes, peachy lips and cheeks—added sophistication. Jewel-tone separates perked up her formerly conservative look, but we topped the colorful pieces with a drapey black blazer to keep the outfit work appropriate.

What worked… “I was all about neutrals, but after the makeover I switched from neutral makeup to a red lipstick. And I learned to think differently about color in my wardrobe.”

What didn’ t… “I’ve decided to let my hair grow into its natural texture. And though I became more confident about wearing color, I’m still afraid to mix and match.”

How life i nte rvened… “I changed jobs; the work environment is more casual. And I travel more.”

What sh e needs now… An updated

2011: SERGIO KURHAJEC

“This hairstyle is so much fun! Also, I’m definitely going to try more prints.”

The Fashion Angela’s flirty printed dress easily goes from work to cocktails—she can just remove the sweater once she leaves the office. (Dress, Clover Canyon, $295. Sweater, Equipment, $318. Necklace, Lulu Frost. Ring, Rachel Zoe. Shoes, Sergio Rossi.)

hairstyle to accommodate her natural curls. And a refresher about playing with color and pattern in her clothes.

How she got it… Paves lightened Angela’s hair to a rich sable brown. To help her see how it will look when her relaxer grows out, he washed and air-dried it and simulated her natural texture with a 3⁄8-inch-barrel curling iron. To keep her foundation looking natural, Sotomayor used a slightly lighter shade than Angela’s skin tone under her eyes and in the center of her face, where the sun would hit. He played up her eyes with a saturated-copper cream shadow on her lids and finished her look with a berry lip gloss.

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JUDSON ALLARDT

GLOBAL ACCOUNT MANAGER

In 2008, we cut Judson’s shoulderlength blonde hair into a glamorous bob with sideswept bangs, played up her eyes with warm beige shadow, and accented her lips with a raspberry stain. The finishing touch? A sexy low-cut silk jersey dress that was a complete 180 from her usual corporate look.

What at worked… worke d… … “I liked ked the slightl slightly darker haircolor, and I’ve continued with that. Oh, and the berry lipstick. And I take care of my eyebrows.”

What d i d n’ t… “The shorter hair length was hard to maintain—so I let it grow. Now I usually wear a ponytail, especially on

Fashion Editor: Jennifer Hitzges. Hair: Ken Paves, Author of You Are Beautiful. Makeup: Andrew Sotomayor using Chanel Le Beiges. Prop Stylist: Cindy DiPrima for EH Management. Manicures: Roseann Singleton for Chanel at Art Department.

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How life i nte rvened… “In March 2012 I married the guy I was dating when I had that first makeover. He still has my first ‘after’ photo as his iPhone wallpaper. But he likes my hair long.”

What sh e needs now… A stylish, lowmaintenance haircut and makeup that suit her busy, often outdoorsy life.

And how she got i t… Paves kept Judson’s The Fashion A cap-sleeved teal dress is professional and feminine. “Being well dressed doesn’t mean you have to wear a blazer,” says Judson. (Dress, Roland Mouret. Necklace, Anton Heunis.)

length but cut long layers of face-framing fringe for texture. Sotomayor traced a black liquid liner along Judson’s upper lashline and smudged black gel liner into the roots of her lower lashes. A peach blush and a complementary peachy lip gloss look both natural and polished.

2 0 0 8 : PAT R I K A N D E R S S O N

“Ken totally captured my new lifestyle— the haircut and color will be very easy for me to keep up.”

summer weekends, when my husband and I live on our boat.”

FOR UPKEEP! IN PRAISE OF T WO MAKEOVERS THAT STUCK .

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ANGELA SHERRER ATTORNEY

In 2007, subtle layers defined Angela’s formerly shapeless haircut; chestnut tones warmed up her haircolor. Eyeliner, mascara, and shadow put the focus on her eyes. Her drab uniform was tossed in favor of a fitted blazer and skirt. What worked…

2 0 0 7 : H E N RY L E U T W Y L E R . R A M O S B E F O R E P H OTO : M O R G A N S A LY E R . B R O W S : E L I Z A P E T R E S C U F O R E L I Z A S E Y E S .C O M . 2 0 0 9 : PAT R I K A N D E R S S O N .

“I always remember to add a pop of color because I wear a lot of black. And I carry a red lip gloss."

The Fashion (Far right) Mixing patterns and textures is easy as long as there’s one shade—in this case, a cheery yellow—that grounds the look. (Blazer, Club Monaco, $259. Top, Banana Republic, $80. Skirt, Banana Republic L’Wren Scott, $98. Necklace, Tory Burch. Shoes, J.Crew.)

What s he ne e d s now… A quick way to refresh her hairstyle and an easy upgrade for her makeup.

An d k e e p s working… “My mom—

And how she got i t… Angela’s hair tends

she died in October 2012— was so proud of me after the makeover. Maintaining what I learned reinforces what she wanted for me: that I take care of myself. It’s not always easy, since I’ve gotten married and have two young kids.”

to frizz at the root, so Paves showed her how to use a fine-tooth comb to smooth on a bit of gel at the hairline. Red gloss is Angela’s signature look; Sotomayor amped it up by layering a brick red lipstick underneath.

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MARIA RAMOS RECEPTIONIST

In 2009, Maria’s transformation was all about the brows: We thinned her inner brows with wax and a trim before using a blonde pencil to even them above and below the arch. Stray white hairs were disguised with a brown pencil, using feathery strokes.

What worked… “I never really thought about my brows until Eliza showed me how to shape them and fill them in with pencil. She told me to quit plucking them; I did. What a huge difference it made!”

A n d keep s working… “Everyone loves my brows. People are always complimenting me on them and telling me how beautiful my eyes are.”

For details see Shop Guide.

What s he ne e ds now… More defined eye makeup to take her look to the next level.

And how she got it… Sotomayor curled Maria’s long lashes and applied two o coats of black mascara— wiggling the wand close to the he lashline for an eyeliner effect— t— to define and open up her large brown eyes. A creamy concealer under the eyes keeps her looking refreshed.

The Fashion Rose gold jewelry highlights Maria’s striking features. (Dress, Alice + Olivia, $550. Earrings, Robert Lee Morris. Bracelets, Leah Alexandra.)

GET REAL!

You know an apple is a healthier snack than a candy bar, but how do you make the big changes and eat real food all the time? Start here with these ten easy and delicious rules. You’ll cook more from scratch, feel more satisfied, and never have to sacrifice dessert. PHOTOGRAPHS BY CHRISTOPHER TESTANI WRIT TEN BY LINDSAY FUNSTON AND EMMA HAAK RECIPES BY SARA FORTE

rule #1

EAT TWO POUNDS OF VEGETABLES EVERY SINGLE DAY. “Loading your diet with vegetables will naturally crowd out things you shouldn’t be eating,” says Joel Fuhrman, MD, author of Eat to Live Cookbook, who recommends this amount after analyzing studies connecting vegetable consumption with overall health. Aim for one pound raw and one pound cooked: Certain cancer-fighting compounds in some vegetables, like broccoli, cabbage, and kale, are better absorbed raw, while cooking others (carrots, sweet corn) can boost their levels of antioxidants. Though two pounds might sound like a lot, a single sweet potato can get you a quarter of the way there. “You don’t necessarily need to measure your food; just use this figure as a reminder to eat a hefty amount of veggies every day,” Fuhrman says. “Work in cooked greens and interesting stir-fries, and you’re set.”

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EGG-TOPPED PITA PIZZA

PROCESSED FOOD 101 Eating more real food doesn’t mean avoiding all packaged goods. While anything that comes in a sealed bag or a box is “processed” to some degree (the term simply refers to food that’s been changed from its original state), not all packaging automatically indicates a dietary no-no. Here’s what to look for. BUY Washed greens, sliced vegetables, and roasted nuts: They’re minimally processed, simply prepped for convenience. Packaged at their peak (to lock in flavor and nutrition), canned beans and tomatoes and frozen produce are also fine choices. But you don’t have to limit yourself to these. The real trick is reading labels: “If you recognize most ingredients as food,” says Darya Pino Rose, PhD, author of Foodist, “or what comes from the ground or an animal, you’re in good shape.” SKIP Packaged foods with unpronounceable ingredients and processed with added sweeteners, oils, and preservatives to boost flavor and texture or extend shelf life. A few major culprits: chips, crackers, and microwavable meals you find in the freezer aisle. Says Rose: “If it’s frozen with a lot of ingredients, you’re shopping in the wrong section.”

2 tsp. extra-virgin olive oil 3 cups chopped Swiss chard, stems removed ½ tsp. kosher salt ½ tsp. ground black pepper 3 Tbsp. pesto (such as SpinachPepita Pesto; see right), plus more for drizzling 2 whole grain pitas ½ cup shredded Monterey Jack or Fontina 2 eggs

1. Preheat oven to 425°. In a skillet, heat oil over medium heat. Add Swiss

chard, salt, and pepper and cook until wilted, about 3 minutes. Set aside. 2. On a baking sheet, spread 1½ Tbsp. pesto on each pita. Top each with

half the sautéed chard and ¼ cup cheese. Make a little well in the center and gently crack 1 egg in each. Drizzle additional pesto on top to taste. Bake until the egg are whites set but the yolks are still loose, 8 to 10 minutes. Cut into slices and serve. Makes 2 servings. Active time: 15 minutes. Total time: 25 minutes.

rule #2

PUT AN EGG ON IT So long as you have eggs in the refrigerator, you can throw together a healthy dinner in the same amount of time you’d need to order takeout. You can top a pita with a baked (or fried) egg and some cheese (see recipe above) or add an egg to a bowl of rice, dressed salad greens, or cooked vegetables.

rule #3

SUB IN SEEDS These oft-forgotten all-stars come packed with key nutrients we all need: protein, healthy fats, and essential fatty acids. Toss a handful of hempseeds into the blender when making a smoothie (see Superfruit Smoothie, page 128), sprinkle chia seeds or flaxseeds on top of oatmeal, or swap sunflower or pumpkin seeds wherever you usually use nuts, like in this winter pesto, which tastes delicious spread on a sandwich or drizzled over roasted squash.

SPINACH-PEPITA PESTO In a food processor fitted with a metal blade, combine 1 clove garlic, 1 seeded jalapeño, ½ cup toasted pepitas, 1⁄3 cup grated Parmesan, the zest and juice of ½ lemon, ½ tsp. salt, and ½ tsp. pepper and pulse to combine. Add 1 cup baby spinach and ½ cup loosely packed flat-leaf parsley and pulse until roughly chopped. With the motor running, add 1⁄3 cup olive oil in a thin stream. Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator up to 2 weeks. Makes 1 cup. Total time: 15 minutes

rule #5

PREP BREAKFAST “If you feel overwhelmed by the transition to eating more real food, just start with breakfast,” says Lisa Leake, blogger at 100DaysofRealFood.com, who challenged herself and her family to avoid highly processed food and has never looked back. “Most of us eat the same thing in the morning, so changing this one meal can have a big impact.” Follow Leake’s lead and carve out time on Sundays to make a week’s worth of breakfasts, like these parfaits. Assemble the yogurt and fruit and store the parfaits in individual jars, one for each day of the week, in the refrigerator. Top with granola when you’re ready to eat.

MAPLE GRANOLA AND YOGURT PARFAITS GRANOLA

1½ cups old-fashioned rolled oats 1 cup slivered almonds ¼ cup extra-virgin olive oil ¼ cup maple syrup 1 tsp. vanilla extract ½ tsp. ground cinnamon ¼ tsp. kosher salt PA R F A I T S

1 quart plain yogurt 2 pounds mixed berries, fresh or frozen and thawed

To make granola: Preheat oven to 325°. In a large bowl, mix together granola ingredients and stir to coat. Spread mixture on a rimmed baking sheet and bake until dry and crisp, stirring once, 30 to 35 minutes. Let cool. To make parfaits: In each of five 8-ounce jars, layer ½ cup yogurt, a scoop of berries, and another ¼ cup yogurt. Cover and store in the refrigerator. Top each parfait with ¼ cup granola just before serving.

Makes 5 servings. Active time: 15 minutes Total time: 45 minutes

rule #4

W H I T E T R AY : O C H R E

MAKE YOUR OWN JUNK FOOD Sure, there are moments when no one can come between you and your potato chips. Which is why banning them isn’t the goal—it’s making them at home. “Junk food is wonderful,” says Michael Pollan, author of Cooked. “But it’s become so cheap that we eat it too often. When we used to have to make it ourselves—and a long time ago we did!—there was a built-in check on overconsumption.” Take French fries: You peel the potatoes, cut them into matchsticks, fry them in oil, and make a mess in your kitchen while you’re at it. If you decide to go the DIY route, says Pollan, “you will not do that more than once a month—I promise you.”

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rule #6

BUILD YOUR BASES Make your life easier by preparing batches of foods you can combine into multiple meals. Start with a pot of grains or beans—or both—every week. “A pound of dried beans costs about $1. Once they’re cooked, it’s a snap to add them to any soup or salad,” says Mark Bittman, New York Times food columnist and author of VB6 and the forthcoming VB6 Cookbook. Apply this strategy to roasted vegetables (broccoli, butternut squash) and dressed hardier greens (kale, Swiss chard). “Don’t roast just two sweet potatoes; roast six,” he says. “The more you cook and have stuff around, the less you’ll depend on junk.” Start with these fridge-friendly staples.

KALE

HERB-TAHINI DRESSING

In a large bowl, combine 2 stemmed, chopped bunches of Tuscan or lacinato kale (2 pounds), 1 Tbsp. olive oil, and the zest and juice of 1 lemon. Season with pepper and massage until softened, 5 minutes. When ready to eat, salt to taste. Makes about 10 cups.

In a food processor fitted with a metal blade, add ½ cup roughly chopped flat-leaf parsley, ½ cup tahini, 6 roughly chopped scallions, 2 cloves garlic, the zest and juice of 2 lemons, 2 Tbsp. apple cider vinegar, ½ tsp. salt, and ½ tsp. pepper and pulse to combine. With the motor running, add 1⁄3 cup olive oil in a thin stream until combined. Makes 1 cup.

rule #7

EAT A VEGAN LUNCH Each year, the average American consumes 175 pounds of meat and poultry, almost double the global average. Eating less red meat may do you a favor: It can lower your risk of cancer and heart disease. “Learn to love big heaps of vegetables,” Bittman says, “and pile them on until you’re more than satisfied.” To achieve that feeling, try meatless proteins, such as lentils, edamame (see the Soba Noodle Bowl, below), and tofu (“so underappreciated; it’s a blank slate you can do a lot with,” he says). “Head to a place with options, like a salad bar, and experiment.”

SWEET POTATOES Preheat oven to 400°. Prick 6 medium sweet potatoes with a fork. Transfer to a baking sheet and roast until tender, 45 to 60 minutes.

FARRO In a medium pot, combine 3 cups water, 1 cup rinsed farro, and ¼ tsp. salt. Cover and bring to a boil, then reduce heat to low and simmer until tender, 35 to 40 minutes. Drain excess water. Makes 3 cups.

Store each base in an airtight container in the refrigerator up to a week and reheat as needed.

MIX AND MATCH YOUR MAKE-AHEADS TACOS

KALE SALAD

WINTER FARRO

Whole wheat tortilla + Sweet potato mashed with spoonful of plain yogurt + Dressed kale + Sliced avocado

Dressed kale + Herb-tahini dressing + Cooked farro + Kalamata olives + Thinly sliced cucumber

Cooked farro + Dressed kale + Shaved Parmesan + Toasted walnuts + Golden raisins

TOPPED SWEET POTATO Split-open baked sweet potato + Cooked farro + Shredded rotisserie chicken + Herb-tahini dressing

Bring a pot of salted water to a boil. Cook 8 ounces soba noodles until al dente, 8 minutes. Drain and rinse. Meanwhile, make the dressing: Whisk together 1 minced clove garlic, 3 Tbsp. toasted sesame oil, 2½ Tbsp. soy sauce, 2 Tbsp. rice wine vinegar, 2 tsp. honey, 2 tsp. Sriracha chili sauce, and the zest and juice of 1 lime. Season with pepper. In a large bowl, combine 2 cups sliced savoy cabbage, 1 cup cooked shelled edamame, 2 peeled and julienned carrots, 2 sliced scallions, ½ cup sliced red onion, ½ cup chopped cilantro (optional), and 2 Tbsp. toasted sesame seeds. Add reserved soba and dressing; toss. Season with salt and pepper. Garnish with 2 sliced scallions and 2 Tbsp. toasted sesame seeds. Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator up to 3 days. Makes 4 servings. Active time: 25 minutes Total time: 35 minutes

F O O D S T Y L I S T: J A M I E K I M M . P R O P S T Y L I S T: P H I L I P PA B R AT H WA I T E . K A L E / S W E E T P OTATO S H OT, B O W L : O C H R E . O P P O S I T E PA G E : P U D D I N G , B OT TO M L E F T B O W L : O C H R E . N A P K I N : A B C C A R P E T A N D H O M E .

SOBA NOODLE BOWL

rule #10

rule #8

DITCH THE WHITES WHY AND HOW TO AVOID TWO MAJOR DIETARY SABOTEURS. WHITE FLOUR The milling process strips the grains of most of their nutrition. The result: “White flour digests in your body rapidly, which makes blood sugar spike,” says Foodist author Rose. (Cue the almost inevitable crash.) “It should be a supplement to your diet, not the main event.” Try more-nutritious flours, like almond, coconut, and chickpea. One easy way to start: Substitute white whole wheat flour for ⅓ cup (or more) of the white flour in recipes. WHITE SUGAR Research suggests that sugar can be addictive. And it’s a sneaky ingredient added to processed foods that don’t even taste sweet, like bread and pasta sauce. Reach for organic honey or maple syrup instead; they’re less refined and offer small amounts of antioxidants. (Still, aim for no more than 24 grams of added sugar per day.) Steer clear of foods with sugar listed among the first three ingredients—and that includes agave nectar, evaporated cane juice, malt syrup, and anything ending in “-ose.” (“There are 1,001 code names!” warns Rose.)

rule #9

GO WITH THE GRAINS “Ancient varieties are supernutrient-rich and offer long-lasting energy,” says Mollie Katzen, author of the cookbook The Heart of the Plate. And it doesn’t take much for quinoa, amaranth, and spelt to go beyond ho-hum: “Once you add sautéed garlic or scallions, they come to life.” These staples also add texture and heft when stirred into soups and stews (see Quinoa– Black Bean Chili, page 129) and sprinkled on salad greens.

DON’T BAN DESSERT “You can totally build dessert into healthy eating,” says Ellie Krieger, host of the Food Network show Healthy Appetite. “If you say, ‘I’m never having it,’ you give all things sweet an enticing, forbidden-fruit aura. When you inevitably give in, it becomes a mindless munchfest.” Reach for better-for-you desserts like this clever chocolate pudding, made creamy by its secret ingredient: avocado.

CHOCOLATE AVOCADO PUDDING 2 large avocados, pitted and peeled ½ cup unsweetened cocoa powder 6 Tbsp. honey ¼ cup skim milk 1 tsp. vanilla extract 1 tsp. instant coffee or espresso powder Toasted coconut flakes, for garnish Orange zest, for garnish Flaky sea salt, for garnish Using a food processor fitted with a metal blade, blend avocados, cocoa powder, honey, milk, vanilla, and instant coffee until completely smooth, then chill, covered, in the refrigerator at least 30 minutes and up to overnight. Transfer to 4 bowls and garnish with coconut, zest, and sea salt. Makes 4 servings. Active time: 5 minutes Total time: 35 minutes

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“Achieve many levels of deliciousness.” The Wisest Kid in the Whole World

TM

wisestkid.com

M’m! M’m! Good!® ©2013 CSC Brands LP. TM & ©2013 Nintendo. ©2013 Disney. SCOOBY-DOO and all related characters and elements are trademarks of and ©Hanna-Barbera

(s13)

COLD COMFORT

F O O D S T Y L I S T: C A R R I E P U R C E L L F O R B I G L E O. P R O P S T Y L I S T: PA I G E H I C K S . A N D E R S O N : T I N A R U P P. H A I R : H A D I I YA B A R B E L F O R H A D I I YA B A R B E L C O L L E C T I O N S . M A K E U P : J J G R A N T. S T Y L I S T : C A N N O N AT T H E C A N N O N M E D I A G R O U P F O R J U DY C A S E Y. B L O U S E , M I C H A E L M I C H A E L KO R S .

When the weather is chilly, SUNNY ANDERSON swears by soul-warming soups.

January is my month for culinary hibernation. When the New Year arrives, I come in from the cold, hole up in my kitchen, and experiment with soups, stews, and slow-cooked delights. My method is simple: In the winter, I stock up on tons of hardy vegetables. Then, when it’s time to make dinner, I haul all that veggie goodness out of my fridge and go to town. I’ve come up with some fantastic comfort food this way—like my kale soup with sweet potatoes and sausage. It’s a little spicy, a lot meaty, and full of good-for-you greens. My chicken and andouille gumbo takes way less time to make than most, but it’s just as flavorful and bold; if you can find gumbo filé powder in your local supermarket’s spice section, shake a bit over your bowl (as you would salt) for a distinctly earthy flavor. And for my Southern take on pasta e fagioli (that’s Italian for “pasta and beans”), I love to start with the classic soup base of onions, celery, and carrots, before throwing in potatoes, black-eyed peas, and smoky ham hock, then simmering everything in dark beer. Instead of a ham hock, you can also use a smoked turkey leg or a slab of bacon cut into chunks. The best thing about soup is that it’s so easy to nail—when you toss lots of yummy stuff into a pot, you’re pretty much guaranteed to ladle out something even yummier. In addition to being easy, these soups are nourishing and inexpensive, and they warm you up from the inside out. Hibernating is fun only if the food in your cave is tasty, and for me each of these soups is a rich, thick pot of “Hello, winter!” PHOTOGRAPHS BY ANDREW PURCELL

Southern Pasta e Fagioli Turn the page for recipes.

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Let’s Eat! Chicken and Andouille Gumbo

Kale Soup with Sweet Potatoes and Sausage

2 Tbsp. olive oil 12 ounces andouille sausage, halved lengthwise and sliced 4 boneless, skinless chicken thighs (about 1 pound), cut into 1" chunks 2 Tbsp. unsalted butter 2 Tbsp. plus 1 tsp. all-purpose flour 1 cup chopped onion 1 cup chopped celery (about 2 stalks) 1 cup chopped green bell pepper 2 Tbsp. Creole seasoning 1 (14.5-ounce) can diced tomatoes 4 cups low-sodium chicken stock Kosher salt Ground black pepper 3 cups cooked rice, for serving Hot sauce, for serving (optional)

4 Tbsp. unsalted butter 2 medium sweet potatoes (about 2 pounds), peeled and cut into ¾" cubes ½ tsp. ground cinnamon ¼ tsp. grated nutmeg Kosher salt 2 Tbsp. olive oil ¾ pound sweet Italian sausage, casings removed ¾ pound spicy Italian sausage, casings removed ½ cup chopped carrots (about 1 large) ½ cup chopped celery (about 1 stalk) ½ cup chopped Vidalia onion 2 pints grape tomatoes Ground black pepper 12 to 14 sprigs fresh thyme, leaves stripped and chopped 1 Tbsp. Hungarian hot paprika 5 cloves garlic, sliced 2 cups white hominy (frozen or drained from can) 2 bunches kale (about 1½ pounds), ribs removed and leaves thinly sliced 1 (15.5-ounce) can cannellini beans, liquid included 4 cups low-sodium chicken stock

1. In a large heavy-bottomed pot, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add sausage and chicken, being careful not to crowd (cook in batches if necessary). Cook until all sides are golden, then transfer with a slotted spoon to a plate, leaving fat in the pot. 2. In the same pot, lower heat to medium, then add butter and flour. Cook, stirring continuously with a wooden spoon, until the mixture turns deep golden brown, about 12 minutes. 3. Add onion, celery, bell pepper, and Creole seasoning to pot and cook, stirring, until vegetables are tender, about 3 minutes. Add tomatoes, stock, and reserved sausage and chicken. Bring pot to a boil, then reduce heat to simmer. Cover and cook 25 minutes, stirring occasionally. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Serve gumbo warm over rice with a dash of hot sauce, if using. Makes 6 to 8 servings. Active time: 25 minutes Total time: 1 hour

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2. Wipe out pan, then add oil and sausage and cook on mediumhigh heat. With a wooden spoon, break sausage into chunks and cook until browned, about 6 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon and transfer to a large heavy-bottomed pot. 3. In the same pan over mediumhigh heat, add carrots, celery, onion, tomatoes, and ½ tsp. each salt and pepper. Cook for 15 minutes, stirring once or twice. When tomato skins begin to blister, gently tap them with a spoon to flatten. Remove vegetables with a slotted spoon and transfer to the large pot with the sausage. 4. Place pot over low heat, and to sausage and vegetables add thyme, paprika, garlic, hominy, kale, beans, and chicken stock. Stir to combine, then add water just to cover (if needed). Cover and cook until kale is tender and sausage is cooked through, about 15 minutes. Season with salt to taste. Add reserved sweet potatoes to pot, and stir to reheat potatoes. Serve warm. Makes 6 to 8 servings. Active time: 35 minutes Total time: 50 minutes

Southern Pasta e Fagioli 1. In a large pan, melt butter over medium-high heat. When butter begins to brown, add sweet potatoes in 1 layer and sprinkle with cinnamon, nutmeg, and a pinch of salt. Cook without moving until a peek under 1 cube reveals a golden brown color around the edges, 3 to 4 minutes. Flip sweet potatoes and cook until other side is golden brown, about 2 minutes more. Transfer to a plate and refrigerate, covered, until ready to finish soup.

2 cups chopped Vidalia onion 2 cups chopped carrots (about 4 large) 2 cups chopped celery (about 4 stalks) 1 turnip, peeled and diced 1 medium russet potato, peeled and diced

1 (15.5-ounce) can black-eyed peas, liquid included 1 (1-pound) smoked ham hock 1 tsp. ground mustard 1 ⁄8 tsp. ground clove 1 bay leaf 4 to 6 sprigs fresh thyme, leaves stripped and chopped Kosher salt Ground black pepper 2 cups dark beer, such as stout 1½ cups ditalini or elbow pasta ½ cup chopped parsley 1. In a large heavy-bottomed pot or Dutch oven, add onion, carrots, celery, turnip, potato, black-eyed peas, ham hock, mustard, clove, bay leaf, thyme, a pinch of salt, a few grinds of black pepper, and beer. Stir to combine, and fill pot with enough water to cover ingredients by an inch. 2. Bring pot to a boil over medium-high heat. Stir, then cover and lower heat to a simmer. Cook, stirring occasionally, until ham hock is tender, about 1 hour, skimming foam from top. Remove from heat. If soup is too thick, add water to loosen. Season with salt to taste. Remove ham hock to a plate to cool. Once cool, remove as much meat as possible and chop. Return meat to pot and discard bone and skin. 3. Add pasta and return soup to a boil. Cook, stirring, until pasta is tender, about 10 minutes. Discard bay leaf and serve soup warm with parsley sprinkled on top. Makes 6 to 8 servings. Active time: 15 minutes Total time: 1 hour 25 minutes

THROW

SOME FRIDAY NIGHT INTO TUESDAY. The ultimate combination bination of h creates chemistry. Crest Clean & Scope Fresh

life opens up when you do © Procter & Gamble Inc., 2013 ORAL-14647

Let’s Eat!

MIXING BOWL The makings of a delicious month, from gooey grilled cheese to a berry-good smoothie.

Cookbook of the Month Solved! WEEKNIGHT WONDERS by Ellie Krieger

IRON IT OUT

WHY WE LOVE IT

SMOOTHIE When I need a portable breakfast, I whirl together this five-minute energy boost. The banana makes it luxuriously thick, even spoonable. Hempseeds and almond milk (feel free to substitute dairy) add protein, so it keeps me going until lunch. —Megan Gordon, author of the new cookbook Whole-Grain Mornings

No need to limit the waffle iron to Sunday morning breakfasts when you can use it at lunch to make warm panini—with crunch that’s hard to achieve on the stove top. In his new cookbook, One Good Dish, chef David Tanis shares this technique used by his aunt, whose signature sandwich “was embossed with square dimples, like crisp inverse croutons, and cheese that oozed and crisped at the edges.” Use a mix of your favorite cheeses and follow Tanis’s two golden rules: Butter the outsides of your bread and sprinkle with sea salt before serving.

SUPERFRUIT SMOOTHIE In a blender, puree until smooth 1 cup frozen blackberries, ¾ cup frozen blueberries, 1 banana, ¾ cup almond milk, 2 Tbsp. hempseeds, 1 tsp. honey, and ¼ tsp. ground ginger. Makes 1 large or 2 small servings.

The Find

Fruit for Thought Reinvent your cheese-and-cracker routine with Simple & Crisp’s slightly tart, subtly sweet rounds of dehydrated apple, orange, and pear, which make nice partners for Cheddar, Gouda, and Brie. Also try them as a crackly ice cream topping—or just a virtuous snack. (From $5 for one ounce; simpleand crisp.com) —LINDSAY FUNSTON

Host of the Food Network show Healthy Appetite, Krieger has a knack for creating better-foryou-but-still-delicious food, thanks to her smart ingredient swaps—for example, blended cashews instead of cream for buttery-textured soup. WHAT TO TRY

Her genius idea for slashing the fat (and increasing the vitamins and fiber) in meatballs: Mix in 1 peeled and grated large carrot per pound of extra-lean ground beef, to amp up the juiciness, and use ½ cup quick-cooking oats in place of bread crumbs.

“My only New Year’s resolution is to heed that incessant internal voice: Christina, please, please, PLEASE try to eat something green today.” —PASTRY CHEF CHRISTINA TOSI, OWNER OF MOMOFUKU MILK BAR

WA F F L E G R I L L E D C H E E S E : A N D R E W P U R C E L L . F O O D S T Y L I S T : C A R R I E P U R C E L L F O R B I G L E O. P R O P S T Y L I S T : PA I G E H I C K S . M E AT B A L L S A N D S M O O T H I E : A L I S O N G O OT E E / S T U D I O D. F O O D S T Y L I S T: K H A L I L H Y M O R E . F R U I T C R A C K E R S : G R E G O R H A L E N D A . P R O P S T Y L I S T: C I N DY D I P R I M A . TO S I : G A B I P O R T E R .

My Go-To…

THE POWER OF

3

Smoky Shrimp Sauté uté with Ga Garlic Garl rlic ic In a large skillet, heat 3 Tbsp. olive oil over low heat. Add 4 sliced garlic cloves and cook 2 minutes. Add 1 pound large shrimp (peeled and deveined), season with ½ tsp. salt and ¼ tsp. pepper, and cook, tossing, over medium heat, 30 seconds. Sprinkle with 1 tsp. smoked paprika and cook over medium-high heat, 2 minutes. Transfer to a large bowl. Reduce ½ cup dry white wine in skillet; pour over shrimp. To skillet, add 1 Tbsp. olive oil, 2 cups diced broccoli, 1 sliced orange bell pepper, ¼ tsp. smoked paprika, and a pinch of salt; toss. Add 2 Tbsp. water and cook, covered, over low heat until tender, 3 minutes. Return shrimp to skillet to reheat. Divide 3 cups cooked quinoa among four plates and top with shrimp sauté. Total time: 30 minutes.

A trio of fabulous, simple-enough-fora-Wednesday dishes that use three healthy staples: QUINOA, BROCCOLI, and BELL PEPPER.

Recipes by Marcia Kiesel

Quinoa Salad S wit ith h Orange and Pistachi Pistachio io

F O O D S T Y L I S T: C A R R I E P U R C E L L F O R B I G L E O. P R O P S T Y L I S T: PA I G E H I C K S . P L AT E D D I S H E S : A L I S O N G O OT E E / S T U D I O D. F O O D S T Y L I S T : K H A L I L H Y M O R E .

Q inoa–Black Bean Chili Qui In a large pot, heat 2½ Tbsp. olive oil over medium heat. Cook 1 chopped onion and ½ tsp. salt, stirring, until onio soft, 7 minutes. Add 2 minced garlic cloves and 1 diced red bell pepper and cook until tender, 4 minutes. Stir in 1 Tbsp. chili powder, then 1 can diced tomatoes and 1 can black beans (each 15 ounces), and 1 cup vegetable stock. Simmer, partially covered and stirring, 15 minutes. Add 2 cups diced broccoli and cook, covered, 3 minutes. Stir in 1 cup cooked quinoa and season with salt. To serve, top with shredded Cheddar and sliced scallions. Active time: 20 minutes. Total time: 50 minutes. How to Cook Quinoa: In a saucepan, bring 1½ cups water to a boil. Add 1 cup rinsed quinoa and simmer, covered, until water is absorbed and quinoa is tender, 15 minutes. Fluff with a fork; season with a pinch of salt. Makes 3 cups. PHOTOGRAPH BY ANDREW PURCELL

In a bowl, mix ½ tsp. grated orange zest, 3 Tbsp. freshly squeezed orange juice, 2 Tbsp. vegetable oil, 1 Tbsp. white wine vinegar, ¾ tsp. sesame oil, and ¼ tsp. each salt and pepper. In a large skillet, heat 1 Tbsp. vegetable oil over medium heat. Add 4 cups chopped broccoli; ½ red bell pepper, diced; ¼ tsp. salt; and 2 Tbsp. water and cook, covered, stirring, until crisp-tender, 2 minutes. Drizzle with 2 tsp. soy sauce. Transfer to a large bowl and toss with 3 cups cooked quinoa, sections and juice of 1 navel orange, ¼ cup chopped pistachios, and dressing. Total time: 30 minutes. Each recipe serves 4.

JANUARY 2014

OPRAH.COM 129

FROM O P R A H ’S KITCHEN

TEA TIME In a one-room home in India, Oprah learned just how powerful a cup of chai can be.

t

TWO YEARS AGO I met a family in India whose entire home consisted of one 10-by-10foot room. This husband and wife ate, slept, and raised their three daughters crammed into a space so tiny, they didn’t even have room to change their minds! But they did have chai. As we sat together on the floor of their living room/kitchen/playroom/bedroom, the husband reached behind the scrap of cloth that curtained off most of their few possessions, pulled out a tea set that had probably been around for generations, and proceeded to brew me the most incredible

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At home in Santa Barbara, November 2013.

PHOTOGRAPH BY LUCA TROVATO

FA S H I O N E D I T O R : J E N N Y C A P I TA I N . H A I R : A N D R E WA L K E R . M A K E U P : D E R R I C K R U T L E D G E . O N O P R A H : S H I R T, $ 3 4 8 ; L A FAY E T T E 1 4 8 N Y.C O M . E A R R I N G S , $ 1 6 5 ; R O B E R T L E E M O R R I S .C O M . H E G D E S : H A R P O I N C . / G E O R G E B U R N S . T I M E L I N E , Y Ü : G A E R T N E R /A L A M Y. T W I N I N G : M O R G A N S A LY E R . B O S T O N T E A PA R T Y : T H R E E L I O N S / G E T T Y I M A G E S . M A D H AT T E R : L E B R E C H T A U T H O R S / L E B R E C H T M U S I C & A R T S / C O R B I S . T E A B A G : M A R K W E I S S / T H E I M A G E B A N K / G E T T Y I M A G E S . KO M B U C H A : G E T T Y I M A G E S .

Let’s Eat! cup of chai I’ve ever experienced. Was it the pungent mix of spices or the openhearted welcome that made it so unforgettable? I asked the man how he made it, but he only smiled and said matterof-factly, “Tea is just a part of our lives.” I came home from that trip obsessed with making tea a bigger part of my life. I searched for the perfect blend of pepper and ginger, cardamom and cinnamon, black tea, white tea, rose petals, and orange and lemon peel the way some women search for their signature scent. I learned to boil purified water at just the right temperature— 212 degrees for black leaves, 175 degrees for white and green—at the same time I steam the almond milk. I found that frothing the milk makes it feel like a special occasion, and that splurging on 2 percent milk might just be the ultimate indulgence. I figured out that how long you steep the tea really depends on the time of day you’re preparing it; two tablespoons steeped for three and a half minutes at 4:30 in the afternoon is a guarantee that I’ll be swinging from a chandelier at 4:30 in the morning. There’s a certain beauty, a sense of order, that I began to discover in the tea-making process. I wake up every

day, I pray or I meditate, I take in the silence, and then I start the tea. As the tea steeps, my head clears; as the flavors develop, my thoughts come into focus. I get centered, I get calm. I get ready for whatever the day is going to bring. I like how the steam swirls and disappears; the woodsy, citrusy, spicy, floral fragrance; the way the translucent amber color turns creamy beige with milk. I like spooning a stiff dollop of foam on top, the feel of the mug in my hands. I use the same mug every day. I carry it from city to city. Whether I’m in India, South Africa, or a hotel room in France, I’m hanging on to my little canister of chai, my infuser, my teapot, my mug—my sense of continuity, my small taste of home. And when I’m at home, tea is something that I love to share. I’ve got Stedman hooked. I make it for the folks who work with me, for the security guys. I’ll offer a cup to the woman who walks my dogs. I hope I’m carrying the spirit of hospitality, humility, and generosity that the Hegdes, that wonderful family in India, offered me in their humble, love-filled home. It feels like an honor to share a cup of tea with other people. It feels like an act of grace.

STEEPED IN HISTORY A look at tea’s continent-hopping, revolution-starting journey through time.

EIGHTH CENTURY: Lu Yü writes The Classic of Tea, first definitive book on teamaking. Hint: No Splenda required.

1706:

Thomas Twining buys Tom’s Coffee House in London, offers both tea and coffee—huzzah! (No women allowed—boo!)

1773: Bostonians toss British tea into frigid harbor; 240 years later, 85% of tea Americans drink is iced. Coincidence?

With the Hegde family and author Gregory David Roberts, Mumbai, 2012.

1865: Lewis Carroll throws unforgettable tea party; rabbits, hatters, and tween girls haven’t been the same since.

EARLY 1900s: Thomas Sullivan ships tea in

silk pouches, accidentally invents tea bags when users dunk them in mugs.

1990s: Fermented kombucha tea craze takes off. Lu Yü never saw that one coming!

Shop Guide (All prices are approximate)

C O V E R On Oprah, left: Top, $73, and bottom, $77; pjharlow.com. Shoes, Chloé, $475; saksfifthavenue .com. On Oprah, right: Dress, Basler Couture by Brian Rennie, $4,500; basler-fashion.com for stores. Earrings, $420; bounkit.com. Ring, $12,895; jorgeadeler.com. Bracelet; paolocostaglio.com. Shoes, $328; katespade.com. H E R E W E G O ! P.21 On Oprah: Dress, Basler

Couture by Brian Rennie, $4,500; basler-fashion.com for stores. Earrings, $420; bounkit.com. Ring, $12,895; jorgeadeler.com. Bracelet; paolocostaglio .com. Shoes, $328; katespade.com. O , B E A U T I F U L ! P.57 From

left, starting at top: Clinique A Different Nail Enamel for Sensitive Skin in Call My Buff, $12.50; clinique.com. Sally Hansen Triple Shine Nail Color in Great White, $5; drugstores. Morgan Taylor Professional Nail Lacquer in Heaven Sent, $8.50; beauty supply stores. SpaRitual Nail Lacquer in Peace and Harmony, $12; sparitual.com. Wet n Wild MegaLast Nail Color in Break the Ice, $2; drugstores. Revlon Parfumerie Nail Enamel in Fresh Linen, $6; drugstores. Clinique A Different Nail Enamel for Sensitive Skin in Concrete Jungle, $12.50; clinique .com. Essie Nail Polish in Limo-Scene, $8.50; essie .com. SpaRitual Nail Lacquer in Transcend, $12; sparitual.com. Priti NYC Nail Polish in Lady of the Dawn, $13.50; pritinyc.com. Revlon ColorStay Longwear Nail Enamel in Pale Cashmere, $8; drugstores. Revlon Nail Enamel in Sheer Pink, $5; drugstores. Morgan Taylor Professional Nail Lacquer in One and Only, $8.50; beauty supply stores. Morgan Taylor Professional Nail Lacquer in I’m Charmed, $8.50; beauty supply stores. Morgan Taylor Professional Nail Lacquer in Simply Irresistible, $8.50; beauty supply stores. Chanel Le Vernis in Ballerina, $27; chanel.com. Maybelline New York Color Show Nail Lacquer in Born With It, $4; drugstores. Seche Nail Lacquer in Rose II, $8.50; Ulta stores. Revlon ColorStay Longwear Nail Enamel in Bare Bones, $8; drugstores. Morgan Taylor Professional Nail Lacquer in Birthday Suit, $8.50; beauty supply stores. Sally Hansen Insta-Dri Fast Dry Nail Color in In a Flash, $5; drugstores. Rimmel London 60 Seconds Nail Polish in Alaska, $2; drugstores. Priti NYC Nail Polish in Coronation, $13.50; pritinyc .com. YSL La Laque Couture No. 24 Rose Abstrait, $25; yslbeautyus.com. Revlon Nail Enamel in Sheer Petal, $5; drugstores. Zoya Nail Polish in Megan, $8; zoya .com. Jin Soon Nail Polish in Tulle, $18; jinsoon.com. Zoya Nail Polish in Jacqueline, $8; zoya.com. Priti NYC Nail Polish in Shirley Temple Peony, $13.50; priti nyc.com. SpaRitual Nail Lacquer in Quietness, $12; sparitual.com. Wet n Wild MegaLast Nail Color in 2% Milk, $2; drugstores. Chanel Le Vernis in Beige, $27; chanel.com. RGB Nail Polish in Buff, $18; rgbcosmetics .com. Essie Nail Polish in Prima Ballerina, $8.50; essie.com. Morgan Taylor Professional Nail Lacquer in In the Nude, $8.50; beauty supply stores. Ciaté Paint Pot in Couture, $15; nordstrom.com. Seche Nail Lacquer in Simplicity, $8.50; Ulta stores. OPI Nail Lacquer in Samoan Sand, $9; ulta.com. Zoya Nail Polish in Avery, $8; zoya.com. Orly Nail Lacquer in Sheer Nude, $8.50; orlybeauty.com. HIPPxRGB Nail Tint in T1, $18; rgbcosmetics.com. Zoya Nail Polish in Shay, $8; zoya.com. RGB Nail Polish in Doll, $18; rgbcosmetics.com. OPI Nail Lacquer in Don’t Pretzel My Buttons, $9; ulta.com. Zoya Nail Polish in Cho, $8; zoya.com. Dolce & Gabbana Intense Nail Lacquer in Perfection, $24; saksfifthavenue.com. Deborah Lippmann Nail Color in Naked, $17; deborahlippmann .com. SpaRitual Nail Lacquer in Uncomplicated, $12; sparitual.com. Revlon Nail Enamel in Elegant, $5; drugstores. Ciaté Paint Pot in Cookies and Cream, $15;

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nordstrom.com. Zoya Nail Polish in Minka, $8; zoya .com. Rococo Nail Polish in Lab Nude 6.0, $16.50; spacenk.com. Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure in Royal Blush, $8; drugstores. Rococo Nail Polish in Lab Nude 3.0, $16.50; spacenk.com. Orly Nail Lacquer in First Kiss, $8.50; orlybeauty.com. Rococo Nail Polish in Lab Nude 8.0, $16.50; spacenk.com. Dolce & Gabbana Intense Nail Lacquer in Nude, $24; saks fifthavenue.com. Revlon ColorStay Longwear Nail Enamel in Seashell, $8; drugstores. Orly Nail Polish in Honeymoon in Style, $8.50; orlybeauty.com. SpaRitual Nail Lacquer in Whirlwind Romance, $12; sparitual .com. Dermelect Me Cosmeceuticals in Debonnaire, $14; dermelect.com. Topshop Make Up Nail in Mannequin, $8; nordstrom.com. Chanel Le Vernis in Emprise, $27; chanel.com. Essence Color & Go Nail Polish in Sweet or Nude, $2; Ulta stores. Revlon Parfumerie Nail Enamel in Pink Pineapple, $6; drugstores. Clinique A Different Nail Enamel for Sensitive Skin in Sweet Tooth, $12.50; clinique.com. Nails Inc. Nail Polish in South Molton Street, $9.50; sephora.com. Dermelect Me Cosmeceuticals in Indulgence, $14; dermelect.com. Sally Hansen Triple Shine Nail Color in Clam Up, $5; drugstores. Dermelect Me Cosmeceuticals in Persuasive, $14; dermelect.com. Revlon Nail Enamel in Angelic, $5; drugstores. Revlon ColorStay Longwear Nail Enamel in Café Pink, $8; drugstores. Sephora Collection Color Hit Nail Polish in 19 First Night, $5; sephora.com. Sally Hansen InstaDri Fast Dry Nail Color in Mauve It, $5; drugstores. Zoya Nail Polish in Mia, $8; zoya.com. Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure in Pink Pong, $8; drugstores. OPI Nail Lacquer in Dulce de Leche, $9; ulta.com. OPI Nail Lacquer in Barefoot in Barcelona, $9; ulta.com. Seche Nail Lacquer in Irreplaceable, $8.50; ulta.com. Dolce & Gabbana Intense Nail Lacquer in Gentle, $24; saksfifthavenue.com. Priti NYC Nail Polish in Spring Song, $13.50; pritinyc.com. Formula X for Sephora the New Neutrals in Impeccable, $10.50; sephora .com. L’Oréal Paris Colour Riche Nail in Mauvelous, $6; drugstores. Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure in Mud Slide, $8; drugstores. Deborah Lippmann Nail Color in No More Drama, $17; deborahlippmann.com. SpaRitual Nail Lacquer in Reminisce, $12; sparitual .com. HIPPxRGB Nail Tint in T2, $18; rgbcosmetics.com. HIPPxRGB Nail Foundation in F2, $18; rgbcosmetics .com. Rimmel London 60 Seconds Nail Polish in PinkA-Boo, $2; drugstores. Zoya Nail Polish in Amanda, $8; zoya.com. Butter London Nail Lacquer in Yummy Mummy, $15; butterlondon.com. Deborah Lippmann Nail Color in Fashion, $17; deborahlippmann.com. RGB Nail Polish in Toast, $18; rgbcosmetics.com. Topshop Make Up Nails in Geography Teacher, $8; nordstrom

.com. Priti NYC Nail Polish in Mushroom Flower, $13.50; pritinyc.com. YSL La Laque Couture No. 39 Beige Gallery, $25; yslbeautyus.com. Nails Inc. Crystal Nail Polish in Porchester Square, $19.50; sephora.com. Chanel Le Vernis in Frenzy, $27; chanel.com. Priti NYC Nail Polish in Ginger Snap Orchid, $13.50; pritinyc.com. W H E R E A R E T H E Y N O W ? P.110–111 Purple dress, Rachel Roy, $398; lordandtaylor.com. Shoes, VC Signature by Vince Camuto, $250; vincecamuto .com. Fuchsia dress, La Petite Robe di Chiara Boni, $815; neimanmarcus.com. Shoes, $830; monique lhuillier.com. Blue dress, $575; hugoboss.com. Shoes, $328; katespade.com for similar styles. Green dress, $450; davidmeister.com. Shoes, talbots.com for similar styles. Yellow dress, Boss by Hugo Boss, $495; hugoboss.com. Shoes, Fergie, $90; fergieshoes.com. Orange dress, Catherine Malandrino, $286; lordandtaylor.com for stores. Shoes, Aquazzura, $695; editorialist.com. Red dress, CH Carolina Herrera, $615; 310-276-8900. Shoes, Steven by Steve Madden, $130; stevemadden.com. P.112 Dress, Rickie Freeman for Teri Jon, $450; terijon.com. Necklace, Gerard Yosca, $190; yosca .com. Shoes, Rupert Sanderson, $795; saksfifth avenue.com. P.113 Dress, lelarose.com for similar styles. Earrings, $235; shop.sheilafajl.com. Bracelets, Jemma Wynne, $1,365 to $3,990 each; ylang23.com. P.114 Dress, Nue by Shani, $320; edressme.com. Necklace, Anton Heunis, $180; fragments.com. Rings, $210 to $235 each; shop.sheilafajl.com. Shoes, $830; moniquelhuillier.com. P.115 Dress, $295; clover canyon.com. Sweater, Equipment, $318; equipment fr.com. Necklace, $385; lulufrost.com. Shoes, Sergio Rossi, $1,095, Barneys; 888-822-7639. P.116 Dress, Roland Mouret, $2,285; netaporter.com. Necklace, Anton Heunis, $555; fragments.com. P.117 Blazer, $259; clubmonaco.com. Top, $80; bananarepublic .com. Skirt, Banana Republic L’Wren Scott, $98; bananarepublic.com. Necklace, $325; toryburch .com. Shoes, $398; jcrew.com. Dress, Alice + Olivia by Stacey Bendet, $550; aliceandolivia.com. Earrings, $125; robertleemorris.com. Bracelets, $84 to $140; leahalexandra.com. L E T ’ S E A T ! P.130 On Oprah: Shirt, $348; lafayette

148ny.com. Earrings, $165; robertleemorris.com. W H A T I K N O W F O R S U R E P.134 On Oprah: Shirt, $298; lafayette148ny.com. Earrings, $395; bounkit.com. Ring, Lena Skadegard, $425; fragments.com. Bracelet, Elizabeth Locke, $12,350; neimanmarcus.com.

O, The Oprah Magazine (ISSN 1531-3247) is published monthly, 12 times a year by Hearst Communications, Inc., 300 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10019 U.S.A. Steven R. Swartz, President & Chief Executive Officer; William R. Hearst III, Chairman; Frank A. Bennack, Jr., Executive Vice Chairman; Catherine A. Bostron, Secretary; Ronald J. Doerfler, Senior Vice President, Finance and Administration. Hearst Magazines Division: David Carey, President; John P. Loughlin, Executive Vice President and General Manager; John A. Rohan, Jr., Senior Vice President, Finance. © 2014 by Hearst Communications, Inc. All rights reserved. O, The Oprah Magazine is a registered trademark of Harpo Print, LLC. Periodicals postage paid at N.Y., N.Y., and additional entry post offices. Canada Post International Publications mail product (Canadian distribution) sales agreement no. 40012499. Editorial and Advertising Offices: 300 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10019-3797. Subscription prices: United States and possessions: $28 for one year. Canada and all other countries: $50 for one year. Subscription Services: O, The Oprah Magazine will, upon receipt of a complete subscription order, undertake fulfillment of that order so as to provide the first copy for delivery by the Postal Service or alternate carrier within 4–6 weeks. From time to time, we make our subscriber list available to companies that sell goods and services by mail that we believe would interest our readers. If you would rather not receive such mailings, please send your current mailing label or an exact copy to Mail Preference Service, P.O. Box 6000, Harlan, IA 51593. For customer service, changes of address, and subscription orders, log on to service.theoprahmag.com or write to Customer Service Department, O, The Oprah Magazine, P.O. Box 6000, Harlan, IA 51593. Due to the high volume of submissions, the publisher cannot accept or return unsolicited manuscripts or art. Canada BN NBR 10231 0943 RT. Postmaster: Send all UAA to CFS. (See DMM 707.4.12.5.) Nonpostal and military facilities: Please send address changes to O, The Oprah Magazine, P.O. Box 6000, Harlan, IA 51593. Printed in the U.S.A.

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S

I X T Y. I’m turning 60 this month! I’m so glad I’ve lived long enough to say those words and celebrate their meaning. I’m turning 60. I’m alive. Healthy. Strong. I’m turning 60, and—please don’t take offense—I no longer have to be concerned about what anyone thinks of me! (You know, the old Am I doing it right? Am I saying it right? Am I being what or who I’m “supposed” to be?) I’m turning 60, and I’ve earned the right to be just as I am. I’m more secure in being myself than I’ve ever been. I have reached the moment Derek Walcott describes in his beautiful poem “Love After Love”: “...with elation / you will greet yourself arriving / at your own door, in your own mirror / and each will smile at the other’s welcome.” I am in awe of the way my journey here on earth continues to unfold. My life has been marked by miracles for as long as I can recall—and even before. (My entire existence is the result of a onetime frolic under an oak tree.) My early days speaking in a Mississippi Methodist church—Baptist leanings, shoutin’, and Holy Ghost included— prepared me for a future of speaking in a public arena I could never have imagined. And now, at 60, I simply want to share what I’ve been given. I want to continue to encourage as many people as I can to open their hearts to life, because if I know anything for sure, it’s that opening my own heart is what has brought me my greatest su success and joy.

My highest achievement: never shutting my heart down down. Even in my darkest moments—through sexual abuse, a pregnancy at 14, lies and betrayals—I remained faithful, hopeful, and open to seeing the best in people, regardless of whether they were showing me their worst. I stayed open to believing that no matter how hard the climb, there is always a way to let in a sliver of light to illuminate the path forward. We go through life discovering the truth about who we are and determining who has earned the right to share the personal space within our heart. This I also know for sure: God—however you define or refer to Him, Her, or It—is for us. The forces of nature are for us, offering us life in abundance. We humans narrow what is an open field of wonder and majesty to the myopic reality of our day-to-day

experiences. But there is extraordinaryy in the ordinary. ordinary Every day and every breath is magic—if we can only see it for what it is. Some days the awareness of the sanctity and sacredness of life brings me to my knees with gratitude. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the idea that the little girl from Mississippi who grew up holding her nose in an outhouse now flies on her own plane—my own plane!—to Africa to help girls who grew up like her. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound! I approach this milestone, the landmark of 60, with humility, supreme thanksgiving, and joy. Knowing for sure grace has brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.

age of enlightenment For more of Oprah’s reflections on her milestone 60th birthday, download the O iPad app from the iTunes store. a 134 OPRAH.COM

JANUARY 2014

L O R E N Z O A G I U S . FA S H I O N E D I TO R : J E N N Y C A P I TA I N . H A I R : A N D R E WA L K E R . M A K E U P : D E R R I C K R U T L E D G E . P R O P S T Y L I S T: S U S A N A N D E R S O N . O N O P R A H : S H I R T, L A FAY E T T E 1 4 8 N Y. E A R R I N G S , B O U N K I T. R I N G , L E N A S K A D E G A R D. B R A C E L E T, E L I Z A B E T H L O C K E . F O R D E TA I L S S E E S H O P G U I D E .

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